Depression and cannabis use

[Anthony83]

Well a little about myself, im 33 years of age, male and live alone. I never really dealt with depression until a few years ago; well i did but nothing on this scale. Most the time before it was a once every now and then occurrence that i could snap out of within the day or so. Issues i have now is there is no one left in my life, but thats just the start of it.

See i used to smoke marijuana for many years and all was good, the only paranoia i developed was from trying to hide it from family (they are all against it and is the reason i stopped). The constant pressure of feeling like if they find out and would be disbanded from the family payed a toll, well it's happened without it anyway...

My depression came on months to a year after quitting my full time marijuana use, i have smoked the odd few times after and it seems to make me feel better yet guilty about what my family thinks so i never continue. I have also been put on and off anti depressants over the past few years (non marijuana use) yet i always get really bad side effects so i work my way back off them. They never seem to help much at all, and make me wonder what they actually put in those medications we're blindly putting in our system.

What i don't understand is Marijuana works for me, however it's obviously frowned apon by the public, my family and employers. Employers and family don't mind if i take anti depressents that cause more issues and horrific side effects, yet if i smoked weed the world is going to end. Which also leads to unemployment, fear of judgement and a sense of unworthiness. Im currently unemployed and struggling like never before with no assistance from anyone, im scared to end up homeless. I have bills and everyone asking for money yet never able to even get a job interview (obviously causing major depression). I have also done counseling last time i was on anti depressants, they all tend to say nothing is wrong with me and it's just lack of a job causing this.

I only know one thing that works yet it leaves me feeling ashamed (not that it really matters anymore) but yeah. Well as i have no one to talk to anymore and running out of options i have decided to sign up. I still feel very doubtful that this will help but i have nothing to lose i guess.. PS i have also thought of moving to a country that have medicinal cannabis programs that also treat depression. I really don't like anti depressants, they are horrible

[Doolhof]

Hi Anthony,

Thanks for the explanations above, I now have a greater understanding of how the drug made you feel and it is not the "high feeling" you are after but possibly one of feeling comfortable and relaxed within your own body. Is that more how the drug made you feel?

As you mentioned, it does seem rather confusing as to what drugs are allowed and which are not. Like you also mentioned so many medications prescribed by Drs have disagreeable side effects. One medication sent me absolutely crazy! I now take another medication to counter act the left over effects of that medication!

I really do hope you manage to find something that will produce a similar response to your senses so you can get on top of your depression and move forward.

Cheers from Mrs. D

[Poodle]

I would be pretty proud of myself for kicking that habit too - but I havent. I have a joint most nights when other people are probably having a few wines, but I have to keep my vice a secret. Ive been doing it for years. Im sure its not great for me... it might be reducing my energy, memory, motivation to do other things - but at the same time, I am functional, have a job, friends etc (many of whom would be astonished to know I smoke weed), but I enjoy the calming effect, and dont plan to stop.

I would be interested in what other people have to say on the effects of weed on depression though. Am I sabotaging myself with one or two joints in the evening...?

[Anthony83]

Thanks very much for you input as a user Poodle!

I would say alcohol being more sabotaging, well it is for me with my experiences (myself and alcohol do not mix). The difference i see is alcohol is accepted by most because it's legal when cannabis is not. There is also many who are strongly against cannabis because they have never used the substance or experience a once off "white out". The way i see it is put two people along side each other, someone on cannabis the other alcohol then compare the two's actions. Most wouldn't even think the smoker is on anything and well the other clearly stands out. I will also stress i am not against anyone that drinks, everyone has their methods to cope with things (each to their own)

However many also overlook that there has never been a fatality from cannabis while every other substance (including some prescribed) and alcohol have all been the cause of deaths. As for cannabis related side effects i agree with some short term memory loss. Although i do believe it helps with concentration and study. Overall in layman's terms i feel alot 'dumber' and hindered with depression, when it comes to study since i ceased use. Obviously everyone has different experiences though.

I encourage other uses or prior to jot down a few lines in this thread, the more information and experiences help current, prior and non users with understanding.

[gld]

H Anthony83,

Welcome to our community as i have found it very helpful coming here and joining in other people posts as well as not having to life with my depression by myself.

Depression is one of those things that can sneak up on you and needs a lot of persuasion to leave. I feel if you work towards bettering your mental well being it has nothing to latch on to. This has been something that has totally changing my life and it will be something that will be an ongoing thing to manage.

As others have mentioned medication may be needed to be changed or taken for sometime before it is effective and this also is best done by regularly making visits to a GP you feel comfortable with. Other important things that complement medication is to take care of your health, socialise, get good sleep and develop better behaviours. Your GP could help you design a mental health plan to link you into other supports you may need.

Please forgive the long winded reply to smoking pot. When i was younger i did my fair share of smoking and drinking and found when i stopped smoking as well as reduced my drinking i gained a lot more clarity. It takes sometime to do as i needed to replace it with better habits to forget about it.

Yes pot may be a softer drug to others but i feel that does not mean that it is healthy for you.

I feel when you start taking a substance you are slowly taken in by it because how it makes you feel and sometimes you do not realise the impacts it is having on your life. Some of your friends dwindle away because they rather go and do other things that give the same feeling without a drug. I have got a bigger buzz out of doing stuff like bungy jump or kayaking with others than puffing on a joint. If we were to sit down and work out how much money we spend each year i feel we would be gobsmacked. Lets just say you spent $375.00 a fortnight that is $9750.00 a year that is something i could use in my bank balance.

Like any drug people quite often say it is relaxing it levels me out do you think it is reason to continue to take something that we enjoy. I look at those shows like RBT and the person who is drunk thinks they are ok but when they get pulled up they can barely stand and totally unaware of how they are.

Pot smoking is targeted at work because of workplace accidents and also with driving because of motor accidents so i feel if we decide to smoke it will stop us from getting out to have new experiences.

Look after yourself, it takes time.

Gen

[Lonelydan]

Hi Anthony, I'm so happy you started this thread. I smoked for over 20yrs I'm 44 now and haven't smoked for the last 5yrs and I'm seriously thinking of starting again. Like you whilst smoking I held down a job payed off a mortgage had a partner and lived rather well. Now I'm on over 200mg of different medications scared to drive my car I put the sugar in the fridge milk in the pantry. I'm no longer able to have a straight thought rarely do I leave the house and absolutely no chance of holding down a job. The medication had not improved my life I'm in a constant panic and at a Doctors mercy which was a nightmare to get treatment. Smoking solved my depression anxiety and insomnia. Danny...

[Anthony83]

Thanks for your views Gen, much appreciated

Personally i was a $70 a fortnight smoker, still adds up though; i do agree. Also i was on a different anti depressant after i quit 3 years well nearing 4 years ago now. I was actually the one whom dwindled away from pot smoking friends because i didn't like hanging around illegal activities. My rekindled love for electronics happened when i was around 20yrs old (computer science). The only way i discovered i could concentrate and learn was when my mind slowed down from using pot. I was one miss-diagnosed as a lad, i had learning difficulties due to lack of concentration mentioned on my forth post.

As for a change of AD's i was on a different type for about a year after i stopped smoking, the side effects were not as "horrific". I say that loosely because as i have seen described before the major side effect was i didn't really care about anything. They left me feeling the way they "should" but this also caused other issues. It turned me into a person with no emotion whatsoever. There was no high or low so to speak, i just felt blase about everything leading to loss of girlfriend, job and many family members(not a care in the world). Personally i look at it like an algorithm; while removing one problem you create another as the replacement = in this case emotionless. My new AD's are, well, horrible and i have only just started getting over the bad side effects lately after weaning myself off them.

Since joining the site and creating this thread, there has been many shows on TV talking about medicinal cannabis now. Im finding people are actually starting to see the positive effects(in general not because of this thread of course lol). The side effects are next to none for myself, and the end result is leaps and bounds ahead of available AD's. It still has a neutralizing affect like current AD's yet it does allow for some highs and lows like how one should feel rather then excessive variations found in depression. I have been doing some solid study about this, and thus-far as i can see it's natural; much like antioxidants in tea and other health supplements. However the biggest hurdle is the legal complications associated with the substance. Sure smoking is a different story but im more for options of a medicinal hemp oil base for AD medications. Id feel happier taking something natural then the current artificially made AD's available.

Anyway thanks for your input, it's great to see other perspectives.

[Anthony83]

Hi Dan,

Thanks for your input on the subject, sorry for the late reply as i must have sent my reply to Gen just after you responded(the moderation delay). Yes i agree that current AD's seem to have some really dramatic side effects, they tend to replace one issue with others (some of which nobody wants to experience). Those of us that have used in the past have seen the benefits of cannabis after ceasing use. I strongly believe even a cannabis extract for health food supplements would have many positive attributes.

Im no hippy or anything as mentioned i have also stopped but id rather take something beneficial that's natural rather then lab produced. We all know even over the counter pain reliefs can have alot more bad side effects then a natural alternative. If the government was to produce something un-tampered rather then the illegal street option, it would be nothing but beneficial in more ways then one.

Im no medical researcher however i believe it would help with concentration for miss diagnosed ADD suffers also. Many studies have basically proven there is merit to the substance, and im sure many other silent users would agree.

Anyway before i keep going and turning my posts into a novel 🙂 Thanks for your input.

[blondguy]

Hi Anthony

You have posted a great thread topic here.

Ive had acute anxiety followed by depression all up about 35 years. I dont think that cannabis is really frowned upon except that the chances of cannabis induced psychosis is increased if a person has an underlying mental health condition to begin with.

Especially with hydroponically grown cannabis which is many times more potent than what hippies used in the 1960's

There are many people on these threads that use AD's and they work very well....including myself.This is my 21st year on SSRI's. They improved my job performance as well as reducing the anxiety as well.

Depression/anxiety are both partially chemically based disorders making them a partially physical illness. Its like people with diabetes or a serious infection...they need their meds just like we do.

The meds have never been a fix all. They do provide us with a solid platform on which we can heal more effectively using super frequent counseling (weekly is excellent...fortnightly is great too) I had 7 months of weekly therapy which really worked well.

Im keeping my eye open for progress with non psychotropic medicinal cannabis (liquid) with GAD/Depression.

I hope that things get better for you Anthony. Depression is a dark cloud thats hard to budge. I hear you there!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Broken_Biscuit_Blues]

Cannabis is a poison that degrades cognitive function.Like all poisons some tolerate it better than others but I have never met a regular user of this drug who was not compromised by it one way or another.

Don't forget that it is illegal, sure in some states possession of small amounts may not be a criminal offence, but to supply or sell it most certainly is so you have to mix with criminals to obtain it, never a wise thing to be doing.Also where there is pot other street drugs are always lurking around.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi everyone,

Given I'm a medical doctor, anyone would think I am about to go on about the dangers of smoking cannabis, but I'm not going to do that  because I think everyone on this forum can google all that in 5 seconds. WE all know what the literature says about that and we also all know it's an area fraught with conflicting info, so you can also access a site that will validate any position. 

This is the American Medical Association's position on it: 
https://ama.com.au/position-statement/cannabis-use-and-health-2014

This site from the USA does cover a lot of info including stuff on medical marijuana
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/what-are-marijuana-effects

Maybe I’m more interested in the possibility of narrative distortion. We sometimes will change “ facts" to suit a particular narrative that we have crafted.

I see this all the time when interviewing families . One member of the family will say that they see a certain event as having happened due to X, but another family member says “ hang on! thats not the way i see it , that happened because of Y “. What I see is that sometimes the absolute “facts” of the story become secondary to the WAY they are remembered. AND we tend to remember things in a way that validate the “truths” that we want to hold about ourselves or our families or our past or the world.

So, Anthony83 , I cannot in any way claim to know you well enough to understand all the possibilities here … however I am just going to ask the questions for you to consider and also as an illustration of the theory above.

Just say you had a belief that “I am a better person on marijuana” . How might someone see one's past so that this belief is validated? One would have to search through one's memory and pick out all the pieces that seem to support this, but also reject or ignore any evidence that might contradict this statement.

If it is super hard to do … It sometimes helps to ask really close friends, partners or family members  .. if you are brave enough to manage to hear it. Remember , your narrative distortion will resist wanting to listen to any information that doesn’t conform with the narrative you have ascribed to ..

So if someone says to you “Actually, I felt that while you were smoking regularly I found it hard to emotionally connect with you” or “ I thought when you were smoking regularly, you seemed more self engrossed” or whatever … then you can't just say “Thats BS!” and blow it off and get angry as that defeats the purpose of challenging your narrative.

The idea is to really take on board whether your belief systems are airtight or whether there are holes in the theory. 

I wonder Anthony83 if you could turn the page on the previous chapter and write a new narrative for yourself, what would the title be?

It might be worth really thinking about as you are young enough to really have a good number of chapters left in your book including one possibly called “The overcoming” or “How I pulled through that rough time “ or maybe even “ I never thought it was possible but…”

I am hoping that your family, whose approval and validation you clearly treasure as they are the reason you ceased your marijuana  ("for them they are all against it and is the reason i stopped”), have come on board to support you in this stage of the journey . If not, it might be worthwhile touching base with a family therapist to work this why as these family relationships can be so crucial to us in helping us be our best selves.