Hi - I'm not really looking for support or a response. I just don't want to bother my loved ones, so here I am. I'm back on the bi-polar express, not looking after myself properly be it cleaning my teeth, showering regularly, cooking, or cleaning or there lack of. I'm unproductive at work and I'm not a pleasant person to be around right now. It's easier to stay away from everyone... it's not you it's me. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, have had bouts of rage (not physical or in the presence of others), which I haven't experienced for about a decade. I seemed to have missed the high this time but now I'm teary, lower than low and flat. Yes, the old distressing thoughts has raised its ugly head too. Each time I tell myself never again, I'm not going through this again - yet here I am. I have a fantastic Psychiatrist and I'm changing meds slowly... which is very likely why I'm here right now but HOLY COW I can't express how much mental illness sucks. It's so very cruel and confusing each.and.every.time.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk x
