Hi Olivia
My heart goes out to you, it truly does. I wish I was sitting there beside you, giving you the freedom to express exactly how you feel through words, tears or whatever else is needed.
Pregnancy is such a personal experience which also makes miscarriage just as personal. While our partner and others around us are involved in a number of different ways, it is we who grow life within us and (in the case of miscarriage) feel the loss of that life. From my own experience with miscarriage, I found the most important question was 'How do I begin to move forward in ways that are going to best serve me?'.
Personally, I went for a balance of intellect and emotion. I recall going to the library all those years ago and taking out 2 books. One involved physical factors behind pregnancy and miscarriage and the other involved other women's emotional experiences with miscarriage. While I received criticism for this way of managing my grief, while being advised to 'stop dwelling' (hmmm🤔), this is what worked for me. Of course, what works for everyone will be different. From an intellectual point of view, I could see how our body ends a process (pregnancy) which cannot be sustained, for a number of different reasons. From an emotional point of view, I felt like I was not alone in my sadness and struggles regarding the loss because others had felt that loss too, in their own personal way. I found, beyond that, it can be about what we choose to imagine. For example, if what we imagine is a little soul that is due to come to us (in the form of what we bring to full term), then it will come to us, not now but later. It needs a body that is fit for it to come to life. While 2 of my soulmates (my 22yo daughter and 19yo son) are 2 of the most amazing people I've ever come to know, it took my son a couple of goes to get here. After 2 miscarriages and beyond the initial grief, he finally made it. ❤️
