ConSamuel

[ConSamuel]

Hi, I’m Con. Times are tough right now. I moved to NSW from Adelaide to be closer to mum who has dementia. Im

really struggling because I only have acquaintances here and no real friends yet. 
I'm very prone to bouts of anxiety and depression. My sisters live 4-6 hours north and south and don’t have much to do with mum and me, so I reached out to Beyond Blue. My counsellor was a great help today at BB and I decided to get onto this forum. I need friends and support even just someone to swap notes and debrief with. So many feelings going through my mind with little support and I feel stuck.

blessings,

Con

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Con,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums…

Becoming a member of these amazing forums is a definite step forward in finding support and care from the beautiful members here..

Moving states is something I’ve not done but I think it would be very hard leaving your friends behind…You done a very beautiful thing, moving to look after your mother…

Have you found a Dr, since moving to NSW…to help you manage your anxiety and depression?…only answer if you want to…no pressure here at all…

Maybe once you’re settled in properly, maybe joining a group of people that like doing the thing you like doing ie:-..book club, sports club, walking group..if you have a pet, maybe a club that includes them…meeting like minded people might be a way to form some friendships…

Dear Con, we are all here to help support you the best we can…so please talk here anytime you feel up to it..

Thinking of you with kindness Dear Con.

Grandy

[Savage-Black_Dog]

Hi Con,
My mother is going down hill with something like dementure. Although there is something majorly wrong with her mind, she passes the Alzheimer tests, which baffles her doctors.
Im stuck living 300km away from her.
Its hard watching your loved ones fade away. I wish that I had a way to spend more time with her.
Good on you for taking care of her Con

[ConSamuel]

Thank you Grandy for your kind words.
There’re a few complications with my mum. Sadly when we were growing up, mum was unknowingly abusive and I’m secretly scared of her. Mum had a full hysterectomy at 22 and went through menopause by her mid 30’s. In these times HRT wasn’t available so us kids copped terrible abuse. It was also exacerbated by her late narcissistic husband.

I’m in the process of moving back into the house and I can feel myself sort of pushing her away. Although I don’t get angry much, I feel a back log of emotions inside. I tried to sort it out when she was more able minded but now it’s a little late. I’m still working on my forgiveness for her. I love my mum but I don’t trust her with my feelings. Sometimes there’s so many things that lead to my depression. I just feel numb.

I hope it’s ok that I elaborate but my whole life has been one of abuse. From my natural father with vicious beatings, and then mum with her toxic hateful words. Then through my late teens, a total shutdown of my emotions. I’m just grateful I’ve made it through but I wasn’t really ready for another painful journey to start now. The best I can hope for is that I can learn to trust mum again. Her constant repeating herself is almost driving me insane but the upside is that she doesn’t seem as angry. All in all, I feel threatened for my mental health.

I'm happy to listen to anything you’d like to share.

Con 😊🙏🦋

[ConSamuel]

Thank you. It’s difficult and I feel stuck. There’s lots of ptsd for me to work through😊

Gee, your profile name sounds like you’ve really been through a terrible time. Please share your story if you like. Life is really hard isn’t it and depression is painful. I find anxiety which is just the flipside of depression can be even worse.

Bless you dear friend. I’m happy to listen to your story too 😌🙏🦋

[ConSamuel]

Oh Ps, Yes, I’m seeing my Doctor this Tuesday. Being in the country, my doctors change every year so I can’t really bond with one it seems 🙏🦋