change

[Chris D]

Change, it can either be good or not so good. the change that i am starting to feel is good i think. As i listen to the song "Hall of Fame" on my phone, the lyrics in this song are truly inspiring they make me feel that i can do achieve what i want to achieve it makes me believe have self belief in myself. This song makes me feel that i am in the spotlight. After what i have experienced and still experience from time to time, i think i am starting to make some good in roads to becoming better.

The path that i am on is a good one. it has it's fair share of bumps but there has been no road block to stop me. Not sure if i'm at crossroads and not sure what way to go, should i keep going in the same direction, or turn left or right? I still have my low patches and useless thoughts but they are not as frequent or as bad as what they have been in the past. I just don't know what way to go, now that i am at this intersection.

Anyone who reads this thread, i ask you that you respond please with words of encouragement, because as i write this i am starting to feel flat, low and abit down. I know you will support me the best way you all know how in your own ways. I have faith in you all that you will all overcome our issues. I believe in you all. After writing all of this i now feel sad for some reason, don't ask me how or why because i don't know.

To all of you, HAVE FAITH, HAVE BELIEF, STAND TALL, STAY STRONG, BE DEFIANT

Kind Regards

Chris

[Lillybell]

Hi Chris, I was in the middle of posting to your last post and it disappeared. So it's hurtling in cyberspace somewhere! What I was going to write was that feeling sad is just as normal as feeling happy. It only becomes a problem if it is ongoing and stops you from functioning with your normal activities. This is where it becomes depression. Have you been diagnosed with depression and are being supported by your doctor? You have mentioned here about being at a crossroads but also say you're moving forward. A crossroads means that you are faced with two options, which you've said are left or right. What does each of those directions mean for you? What choices do you associate with each direction? By asking yourself these questions it might help to give reasons for the emptiness that you feel and then help you to find solutions for that emptiness. 

[Chris D]

Hi LB,

Since my last post earlier this afternoon, i have dipped. As i type this post before i go out soon, i feel like i need to cry but the tears won't come. Something isn't right i don't what though. It's there but i can't put my finger on it. It isn't nasty thoughts, it's something that, i don't know i just have the feeling that something is wrong it doesn't feel right.

I'm not sure what to do or say to make this feeling disappear. LB i did get diagnosed with depression in August last year, i was seeing a counsellor and other people. I must say i haven't been supported by my current GP the 3rd in 4 months. I do see a mental health nurse as well but he isn't very gd either, they are both to busy with other patients, so when i had some serious bad days last year i couldn't get into see my gp or mental health nurse as they were both booked out, then Christmas and yew year came along and i just haven't seen them since. Things are up in the air with everyone at the moment, so i'm not sure what is going on. It's something that i need to follow up.

Kind Regards

Chris

[Neil_1]

Hi Chris

I think I might know what happened ... that particular song finished and then you perhaps started to slide?  I'm not sure ...

But what I can say to you is that you hit the nail right on the head with that song.  I LOVE it, and it's on my Ipod, and when it comes on when I'm in the gym, it really inspires me to lift even a bit heavier.

It's brilliant and thanx for the reminder about it.  A really good thing to do.

Just reading your posts, I can see glimpses of light shining through with you.  There's a positiveness there that hasn't been there before ... I hope I'm right.  Ok, it's not overpowering at the moment, but I can sense it under the surface and not far from the top.

I so hope that for this new year this can see the start of some excellent change for you.

Kind regards

Neil