breakup regret

[maddy7890]

Hi there,

I am currently at the lowest point i’ve ever been in my life and i’m just looking for some advice i guess.

I have been in a happy and loving relationship for the past two years and he was everything i could ever want. however, i am very mentally unstable and it appears i have bpd/ptsd (waiting for diagnosis). as a result of my poor mental health i said and did a lot of things to my partner that i deeply regret and i told him i wanted to break up. he didn’t want to leave and held on for 3 months and he recently decided he wasn’t in love with me anymore and has to move on because what i did to him is unforgivable. basically i wanted to break up with him and now i regret it a lot.

now that he's really gone, i’m the most depressed and suicidal i’ve ever been in my life. i haven’t eaten in over a week and i’ve been crying so much i physically can’t cry anymore, no tears come out.

i can’t imagine moving on and not having him in my life anymore and i feel so stupid for everything i’ve done.

i’m really struggling at the moment as i honestly have no friends, he was my only friend and i pushed him away. now i have no one.

how can i let him go and how can i move on? i really cant imagine life without him and the thought of him moving on and seeing other people makes me feel physically sick.

thank you ❤️

[Sophie_M]

Hey maddy7890,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue online forums. We are sorry to hear that you are in so much pain at the moment and we are so grateful that you have reached out here. Please know that you are in a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share what you are experiencing and receive support to help you move forward in your journey. The end of a relationship is a very painful experience to go through and it sounds like you are grieving this loss and feeling regret. Please know that you are not alone in this and we are here to support you as much as you need.

Our Support Service is trying to reach you via email as we are worried about you.

If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

You can call Kids Helpline (a confidential support service for young people 5-25 years of age) anytime at 1800 55 1800 to chat with a friendly, caring counsellor about how you are feeling and to help you process some of the distress that you are going through.

We also suggest reaching out to our friends at Lifeline - 13 11 14 in moments of overwhelm. Our Beyond Blue Support Service is also available 24/7 at 1300 22 4636.

Keep checking in with us to let us know how you are going whenever you feel up to it.

[amberlite]

Hello Maddy, I am so glad you have come on line because here you can make new and interesting friends. I am so relieved that you will be getting diagnosed as this may begin a new and a healthier way for you. I am so sorry that you are heart broken and I really do hope things get easier for you. Amber

[Purple__Butterfly]

Hi Maddy7890,

I've been there. You're not alone. I broke up with a guy who is still my best friend today. My advice to you would try and talk to him. Seek him, a good way to do this is writing it all out in a letter form. I did this and it helped re build a friendship. It's hard dealing with a broken heart and still being in love with the same guy. It's not easy, I still am in love with my guy. Eventually you accept that he's moved on but that hurt never truly goes away, you just learn to live with it. Find a friend you can vent to about this, it helps.

Thinking of you xoxo