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[BPD] How do you know it's happening?
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Thought I'd open up the discussion for anyone interested. Mostly for those of us who experience the highs and lows.
Not limited to BPD issues but also anyone else who experiences different levels.
For example, I get a cold chill and tingles everywhere when a low is coming on. It's like the life is draining out of me. That's when I can tell I'm about to hit a downward spiral.
Then once this passes and I look back I can't help but feel some degree of shame (despite staying silent about it) by looking back and almost feeling stupid for feeling the way I was. I haven't worked out a fix for this one yet.
The highs are easy to pick. I'm on my feet constantly with a fleet of huge plans and ideas. At work I'm busy, productive and firing off a thousand emails to various people almost being demanding in my approach. Work and socially I'm shooting my mouth off with near inappropriate things that fortunately haven't landed me into too much trouble. Although over time I've learned to try and control it and realise when it's happening so I step back, take a breath, read that email before hitting send and often end up deleting it instead knowing what's happening to me, biting my tongue before blurting out an opinion.
How do some others feel when they are transitioning and what do they do to intervene themselves?
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The question of the year!
Lack of insight is a major problem for the mentally ill. They say if you have insight you are "one of the lucky ones".
you can have insight to the severity of your illness but not recognize the symptoms of things like moods, mania, change in character...
This is where, if you are lucky again, a good carer has a benefit. The best carer will tactfully warn you things are going off the rails and suggest a visit to a GP for medication changes or relaxation, environment change like a trip to the beach. For me it could be as simple as a visit to a cafe driving my vintage car.
Identifying the triggers is the hard part to prevent it the next time (if its a trigger situation). For me even though we live in a serene place in the country more than 4 days here is enough without getting out for a latte somewhere. Too many people in our cottage bring the same trigger as a busy shopping centre and I have to walk around the back yard etc.
As for down periods and not knowing when they are coming, if you dont have a carer or your carer isnt present, the tell tale signs arent usually obvious
Interesting about yours though. My down signals can come in the form of being urged to write a sad poem as I can only write one in a depressive state.
Topic: the timing of motivation- beyondblue
Topic: triggers that lift you, triggers that down you- beyondblue
Tony WK
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Hello UpNDown,
I have traits of borderline personality disroder and one of the things I've found is that my moods and opinions of people can switch pretty much straight away. So there isn't really a transition period for me, but rather I need to try and catch myself as soon as I've transitioned.
It's pretty hard and I think the most helpful thing is to actually tell people I see regularly, and who might say or do things that trigger me, that if I start behaving differently, to let me know that I've changed somehow and to ask what I'm feeling.
I find having a third person help me identify the changes also helps them understand that they're not at fault.
Have you told any of your friends or family? It is, naturally, harder at work but I find having the insights from closer relationships can help control my work-life as well.
James
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Hello Upndown. Great name! Just lived through a bipolar cycle approx 5 weeks so far. In first 3 weeks i went to bed with "the flu". I could not eat, speak, feel hot or cold and i could only just see. Dr told me i had (medication name) toxicity. Took me off meds and i gradually returned to what i call an "even" mood. Then the highs came, fast talking, great appetite, problem solving day and night for a week. My husband wondered what was happening. I finally explained and he is ok. He is the second person iv told other than my Dr. in 43 years.
On a lighter note, during my high time i had the house appraised for sale and almost booked a cruise, i cleaned out the cupboards and cooked complicated recipes. I sorted all my clothes and bagged them for op shop and i thought and talked like a runaway train. Have you or anyone experienced this type of thing?
meercat