Hi all,
I'm relatively new to these forums as a poster, so hello :). In short, the last few years have been trial after trial and I suppose I reached breaking point a few days ago. It was as though all the little coping mechanisms I had clung onto just slipped out of my fingers. I found myself breaking down on my drive home, yelling at my boyfriend over the phone through a stream of tears and snot. Not my most glamorous moment, for sure.
Truth is, this can be a lonely and isolating disease. Some years ago, I fractured my ankle - it seemed the whole world was willing to help and be accommodating of my newfound disability. Depression/anxiety are infinitely worse but the support seems to become so much scarcer. No one wants to hear it and the advice is often patronising and dismissive. You feel like you are burdening people so you don't say anything - and when you do open up, you realise the ears you had hoped would be there turn away. 'I don't know what to do or how to help'.
I'm here because...I just needed to be around people who get it, even if it's just virtual. The people in my life can relate to depression about as well as I can relate to Iron Man and sometimes being looked at like an alien isn't the best feeling.
As abnornal as this disease feels, I know it's also a 'normal' reaction when you feel like you're sinking, when problems and frustrations and obligations build up so much they make the Great Wall of China seem like a little child proof gate. The hard part is climbing out, especially when you feel like your legs have been cut off at the knees.
I know there's always hope - some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't yet visible.
