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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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S_J Postnatal depression
  • replies: 3

Hi I had my baby 1 month ago and struggled from the get go. With breast feeding and then got mastitis and had to change to formula feeding, i then have become depressed as a result of this and the changes mother hood has done to my life, i love my so... View more

Hi I had my baby 1 month ago and struggled from the get go. With breast feeding and then got mastitis and had to change to formula feeding, i then have become depressed as a result of this and the changes mother hood has done to my life, i love my son and he is adorable but some days i wish i could have my own life back, i have started seeing a therapist, but some days i just need help looking after him when my mood crashes and my husband and mum supported me at the beging but now they don't understand and just expect me to snap out of it and don't believe i have depression and say its just my hormones and I'm starting to feel like i can't talk to them anymore about it as they are just sick of hearing about it. Some days im fine and i have a great day other days i just want to curl up in bed and stay in bed all day so i have to ask my mum or husband to take the day off work to help look after my son and i feel like they won't anymore and expect me to just get on with the day, which i find hard when im alone to look after our son. When i have bad days i just feel very flat and tired, when i have good days im positive and have heaps of energy and do heaps with my son, really i just need somone to talk to on my bad days as i feel i can't talk to my mum or husband anymore and as my son sleep well at night and i get rest they expect me to be fine. I hate when i have bad days and i don't want to feel the way i do on those days i would just snap out of it if i could but i can't. And i never know what type of mood i will be in until that day which makes it hard as my husband leaves early for work and i have to call him to come back and he doesn't understand why im upset and asks what made me upset and i don't know i just wake up feeling that way. So yeh basically just want someone to talk to or i think i will get worse.

kittycat2 Wake up ok and then it all goes down hill....
  • replies: 8

I often wake up feeling ok in my mood, have good intentions to get things done in my day including my business, but then as the morning progresses my mind turns to feeling sad, and i have this war going on in my head - "think positive", "no dont thin... View more

I often wake up feeling ok in my mood, have good intentions to get things done in my day including my business, but then as the morning progresses my mind turns to feeling sad, and i have this war going on in my head - "think positive", "no dont think like that", I feel a shift for the better for a few moments and then back down again. I look around my home that was once so organised, I go into my office and I just feel numb, I dont want to face any of my clients work, I dont want to work on their projects and I can see deadlines coming and I'm just numb. Working on my own is not helping and I wonder if getting a job for someone else would help, but that's another problem what do I do? and no one wants to employ someone who's been self employed for 30 years... its all too hard and my body and mind is just numb, I feel nothing and have no passion or happiness anymore.

happyannie Another Hard Night
  • replies: 2

Im having a bad night a continuation of a really bad day, Ive really been struggling with my depression lately, more so than ever. I feel like Ive got a battle going on in my mind constantly, there seems to be a good voice and a bad voice and they fi... View more

Im having a bad night a continuation of a really bad day, Ive really been struggling with my depression lately, more so than ever. I feel like Ive got a battle going on in my mind constantly, there seems to be a good voice and a bad voice and they fight all the time, which is very difficult to live with, its happening all the time for example, I will try to do something positive which is good but then the bad side says no your not going to do that which pushes me down again. I was wondering does anybody else feel this way and do they have any advise. I have wonderful medical support and my family are just brilliant for looking after me, for that I will be forever grateful. Thanx for letting me vent BB, I really appreciate this forum. Annie

WhoamI_ Probably hitting unemployment soon... :-(
  • replies: 9

Hi there, I'm new here. Male mid-30s. Was made redundant last July but I managed to find another job in a more complex indstry and a step up beginning in August. 3 months in however, things aren't looking so great. A senior of mine who has been worki... View more

Hi there, I'm new here. Male mid-30s. Was made redundant last July but I managed to find another job in a more complex indstry and a step up beginning in August. 3 months in however, things aren't looking so great. A senior of mine who has been working with the boss for a decade has been giving me one set of time expectations but later berating me for not completing or understanding the contents since it was "such a simple task". And because its simple, she sometimes keeps briefings really brief. I have from time to time asked to clarify or for further pointers and all I've been told was "It's your job to read through all the info even if it's a lot and your ability to summarize" or "didn't I tell you this before! *rollseyes*" I do admit my attention to details has been lacking due to sleep apnea. I am currently seeking treatment for that. That said, the boss mentioned his concerns about my work performance, and while I agreed to work on them, I have voiced my concerns about said senior's behaviour and how I was feeling rather depressed lately, but am also seeking help for depression and sleep apnea, all I got was "that person is actually nice, you'll have to take criticisms constructively and learn to work well with her and don't take things personally" I've tried being more positive after that meeting but she continues to highlight every mistake I have made in an e-mail with the boss cc'ed in. The stress did eventually take it's toll on me work and performance wise that I took a few days off for a break. When I got back , I was notified that I'm being performance managed and if I don't improve soon, I may be out of a job really soon. I admit that it is partially my fault, like not being able to keep a hold of my emotions, breaking down in office sometimes and feeling too miserable to focus. Not suicidal and I do have family support but I do try to look positive as my mom and I are very prone to depressive modes. Mentor advised that I was a bad fit for that role for the industry I was in as I am quite non-confrontational by nature and not very resilient (to which I agreed) which does not translate well to my survival long term. I get dreams of being a long-term unemployed and when I think about my future, I can only see a dark empty space. It's a very lonely feeling and I weep frequently at the thought of this. I tried to think positively but that dark feeling still remains. Confidence totally shattered, feeling very lost in life now.

Autumn14 Working with Depression
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. Unsure really what to say. I have been living with major depression since 2008 with medication and in the early days a psych. I am a hard worker giving everything to my job rarely taking sick leave. Last week I had a relapse at work, cry... View more

Hi everyone. Unsure really what to say. I have been living with major depression since 2008 with medication and in the early days a psych. I am a hard worker giving everything to my job rarely taking sick leave. Last week I had a relapse at work, crying and unable to really express what was wrong. I stupidly said to to the manager I didnt want to go to work..as struggled to get out of bed. I hadn't felt this way for quite some time. I decided to talk to doctor and he gave me some time off. The manager was not happy and said "it was disappointing". After continued emails (maybe I shouldn't have answered in hindsight) she said the 2 managament staff had talked and decided to take one work role off me. Later on in the week she asked if I would be in for the rest of the week. I was so angry from previous emails and not wanting to be brash I simply said I wont be in but will be back Monday. The email that followed that was the worst. Instead of telling them I would not be there apparently I should have asked. They pointed out that they had been lenient with me and I should show more respect and professionalism. The said they have offered support yet I have never taken them up on it. Never did I say anything about struggling at work, sometimes theres no reason for a relapse. I like my work. Life just got on top of me I think. I'm just not sure what to do now. How do I go back to work and face them all?

Maggie_ Stuck in a rut
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I feel like I've probably suffered depression my whole life but only realised in the last couple of years that that's what it is. I've never ever felt content in life. Even at school I hated almost every subject and struggled to make friends ... View more

Hi all, I feel like I've probably suffered depression my whole life but only realised in the last couple of years that that's what it is. I've never ever felt content in life. Even at school I hated almost every subject and struggled to make friends as I was painfully shy and just generally felt unhappy. I am less shy these days however I still feel unhappy a lot of the time and have such little motivation. I called in sick to work today and will probably do the same tomorrow as I'm just so over it and don't want to go in. I find the daily routine of life so tedious it makes me want to cry. I feel like I'd rather just go travelling forever so that everyday is different but I know that's not realistic. I exercise regularly and am eating better lately which I thought would help me feel better but it hasn't really! I feel stuck in a boring rut and don't know how to get out of it. Sometimes I think I would like to re-train and learn a new skill to try a new career and get a better car as it's on the verge of giving up, but I just don't have the money. My partner is against me getting a loan as we have enough outgoings as it is and have a wedding to pay for. So even when I do muster up a bit of enthusiasm and start researching courses I could do I then remember that there's no point me researching it because I can't afford to do it anyway and that just makes me feel worse again like there's no way out of the rut I'm in and will just have to continue with my current routine and job which I'm so bored with. What's the point in living a life you don't want? I'm really at a loss of what to do. I've spoken to a psychologist a couple of times but I always relapse. I'm wondering if it's worth me finally trying antidepressants? I'm worried I'm going to drive my partner away as I'm always so down all the time.

Jugglin_Strugglin The purpose of Depression
  • replies: 4

Today I read an interesting article: 'Psychologists find the purpose of depression'. In summary: """Several researchers have advanced the argument that depression can serve a possibly positive purpose in the lens of evolution. In some circumstances, ... View more

Today I read an interesting article: 'Psychologists find the purpose of depression'. In summary: """Several researchers have advanced the argument that depression can serve a possibly positive purpose in the lens of evolution. In some circumstances, it may be yielding of insights & personal meaning. Depression may be an adaption for analysing complex problems. The physiological symptoms suggest an evolutionary design- to pull us away from normal life so we can focus on understanding & solving underlying problems that triggered. The meanings people derive from different experiences depends not on the amount that they've suffered but the extent of the reflection -or meaning-making. So logically, if the job of a depressive episode is to figure out what's gone awry, what emotional knots need untangling, what attachment patterns need to be identified, then ADs are an incomplete treatment. (Analogy: analgesics can't heal a broken ankle without a cast) Healing of depression needs not just an alleviation of symptoms but a reworking of psychological patterns. CBT etc may work cos they tap into &accelerate the processes that have already evolved to occur over a longer time frame. Depression is a space for reflection. A journey into the underworld where the adventurer is to go through the door.. ..immerse in the wound...and exit from the previous life through it. While disengagement from emotionality characterises depression, engagement with one's inner world looks to be the way out: You exit through the wound.""" At first, I found this viewpoint somewhat comforting. It is evolution. It is human nature. It is natural. It is healthy. I hope it helps some here to make sense of why they are feeling down,& to better overcome it. But with more thought, for me it is nothing new. I reflected on this long ago & I believe it to be true. It may be possible for some people & some circumstances, eg dealing with & acceptance in grief. Events can't be changed, but we move on. But what if the triggers are just surviving in day to day life & cannot be changed. We might understand &have no more knots to untangle. No amount of positive thinking or reflection & acceptance can change some circumstances (triggers) that we must continue to deal with in order stay on the rollercoaster of life. It might be a reason that we are never 'cured' of depression& can be prone to recurrent bouts. It could also account for 'treatment resistant depression'that can last for decades. Lee

white knight Crying, a gauge to our mental strength?
  • replies: 53

Reaching 60yo l can reflect on my early life and it is clear that my thousands of buckets l could have filled with my tears is in contrast to the period of post 2009. Why?. Diagnosed in 2009 with bipolar 2,depression, dysthymia and dwindling anxiety ... View more

Reaching 60yo l can reflect on my early life and it is clear that my thousands of buckets l could have filled with my tears is in contrast to the period of post 2009. Why?. Diagnosed in 2009 with bipolar 2,depression, dysthymia and dwindling anxiety meant the correct medication was prescribed. From then on it was more a case of fine tuning dosages. Last week l had the trauma of my youngest daughter leaving my life. She's 24yo and l have been tormented by this development BUT, I havent shead a tear. I feel it is a reflection of my newfound mental strength. Yes she has come and gone in my life but that fact doesnt mean it comes easy to cope with. What else could it be?. After much analysis l think acceptance of what life really is has helped. Life is not what we plan it to be nor wished. As kids we drew rainbows but not rocks. Life will throw stones, rocks, even boulders- without warning. Is our lack of being able to cope due to us expecting a smooth road in life? Or do we know life has hurdles but when they arrive its so devastating we have no learned skills to cope with them? At school we had no lessons in "coping with trauma" or "breaking up with your partner, how to do it with compassion and care" or "depression signs" etc.. even financial planning isnt taught. All these life challenges are learned the hard way. Some people can approach such challenges easier than others. So if you are sensitive, had a cruel upbringing, family history of mental illness and so on, you might let your tears become streams. Is it an indicator of your mental strength-lack of it? I suggest it could be. There is no worse feeling imo. That feeling of devastation, worthlessness, failure and mental collapse- crying. However I've known some people equally the same but not crying, with filming over their eyes as if deeply sad without tears so I'm not saying it is the case every time. If you have had a period of lots of crying, to work closely with your professional mental health expert with medication and therapy. Hopefully you'll improve and your stream of tears will dry up. Mine did so there is hope that your mental strength will return or develop even late in life. Accepting life has boulders will prepare yourself for them. Sh*t happens and its out if your control but you can develop strategies to cope better and a mentality that will look at life for what it is and always had been, unpredicable, hurtful but can be wonderful, incredible and more stable Tony WK

Guitarist Need to understand stuff.bipolar2
  • replies: 1

Hi all I have read all the literature out there about bipolar disorder and i am a little confused. I have been officially diagnosed with bipolar 2....but i don't get depressed?..my symptoms are i get so mentally exhausted from stress to the point it ... View more

Hi all I have read all the literature out there about bipolar disorder and i am a little confused. I have been officially diagnosed with bipolar 2....but i don't get depressed?..my symptoms are i get so mentally exhausted from stress to the point it effects my entire body and i end up with huge migraine head aches and absolute physical collapsed from fatigue and a very noticeable dip in my health to the point where it actually shows up on blood tests as an auto immune problem (not kidding i have proof). My point is that i think the doctor has diagnosed me incorrectly OR..can someone please let me know if this is what they experience with there condition? Or should I get another opinion? One more thing i would like to ask..is..when my thoughts race to the end of the world panic i get extremely angry...like really really angry...almost like a defense mechanism kicking in when i have shitty thoughts..which is kinda just as powerful as the bad panic. But..they are both things to have going on...which makes me think..why do i over think EVERY THING...is it to stop myself from drowning or boiling or both. By keeping myself occupied? And why do i constantly blame people for this stuff...not that i ever tell them because i keep it to myself. I sound so rounded at the moment. But this cycles every 3 days....the headaches are every few weeks.. the physical assault is unbearable..medication does nothing..instead of my stuff coming in every 3 days....it drags out over weeeks..at least this way i have some kind of control. I wish it would all go away because i can't really keep going like this....I'm 37...have a wife have children...i used to work...had a job for 7 years in the one place...before that 6 years...now there is no work...anywhere...i have applied for over 147 jobs since January last year..no luck. I no longer know how to talk to people anymore because i have been out of the work force for so long. I never was a social butterfly anyway. How do i fix this? I don't think i can.. Thanks

Divinci First time poster, just need to vent on recent times
  • replies: 5

Hey everyone, Not really sure where to start or what to say but here goes... the last few weeks i have been extremely tired and had no motivation to do anything and i was beginning to feel quite feint, thinking it might be diabetes i went and got som... View more

Hey everyone, Not really sure where to start or what to say but here goes... the last few weeks i have been extremely tired and had no motivation to do anything and i was beginning to feel quite feint, thinking it might be diabetes i went and got some tests due to my background being Maori and my dad and others having diabetes i thought it would be wise. I explained this to my boss via message which took me forever to press send and then i anxiously awaited a reply, in which he said health comes first just keep in touch which made me calm down a lot. so i have had the past over a week off due to this as well. Knowing i had to return to the doctors this morning for results i was up majority of the night with anxiety worrying/tossing and turning about my results which then lead to me stressing about work and money etc etc. Then i heard my mum awake in the kitchen so i crawled out of bed to go talk to her and have a smoke and i explained about my anxiety which i have never mentioned before as i am quite a secretive person and i guess hate to think that i'm dumping my problem on others. she then mentioned to me that i should say something at the doctors when i get my results. Finally getting to sleep and waking up for the doctors (which was a huge struggle) i went to my appointment with severe anxiety of my results which came back with no diabetes for now but a high chance of me getting them at some point. after i received them i mentioned my anxiety and she asked a few questions about how i feel like, tired/lethargic, motivation, work etc which all got a high answer on her 1-5 scoring chart so she gave me a referral to see a psychologist because she thinks it definitely is depression and worsening from what i explained. I feel a lot better knowing i have taken a step to do something about it, but now my fear is in my job, i cannot even bring myself to call or message my boss to explain what is going on or when i will come back to work and then i feel i "HAVE" to force myself to go because i am stressing about money and its just a viscous circle that keeps going around that i cannot escape. I find my only escape from reality and my issues that makes me feel better are video games, i feel i can really escape when playing and i would much rather interact with other gamer's online than face people in reality. it is pretty much the only time i relax and literally don't think about anything at all.