Postnatal depression

S_J · ‎15-02-2017

Hi

I had my baby 1 month ago and struggled from the get go. With breast feeding and then got mastitis and had to change to formula feeding, i then have become depressed as a result of this and the changes mother hood has done to my life, i love my son and he is adorable but some days i wish i could have my own life back, i have started seeing a therapist, but some days i just need help looking after him when my mood crashes and my husband and mum supported me at the beging but now they don't understand and just expect me to snap out of it and don't believe i have depression and say its just my hormones and I'm starting to feel like i can't talk to them anymore about it as they are just sick of hearing about it. Some days im fine and i have a great day other days i just want to curl up in bed and stay in bed all day so i have to ask my mum or husband to take the day off work to help look after my son and i feel like they won't anymore and expect me to just get on with the day, which i find hard when im alone to look after our son. When i have bad days i just feel very flat and tired, when i have good days im positive and have heaps of energy and do heaps with my son, really i just need somone to talk to on my bad days as i feel i can't talk to my mum or husband anymore and as my son sleep well at night and i get rest they expect me to be fine. I hate when i have bad days and i don't want to feel the way i do on those days i would just snap out of it if i could but i can't. And i never know what type of mood i will be in until that day which makes it hard as my husband leaves early for work and i have to call him to come back and he doesn't understand why im upset and asks what made me upset and i don't know i just wake up feeling that way. So yeh basically just want someone to talk to or i think i will get worse.

kanga_brumby · ‎15-02-2017

S.J. Welcome to BB even though I am a bloke I have been through what you are going through. My partner had a disability, and couldn't do anything for either one of our children. So I had to look after her and all the changes, bottle feeds, baths, plus her as well. So I got depression as well. It will get better in time, it's not an easy road. But well worth it. Do you have any girlfriends you can call on for help, maybe some neighbours. Are you in a parents group, don't try and be the martyr. Ask the other mothers if they can do a trade off you help them and they help you. That's what a lot of new parents don't think they can do. Admit they need help, I know now. I had to teach my partner about being a parent. As well as doing the parent. Then when our second came along. Every thing I had shown her had really got through, big time. Keep your head up you are doing better than you think. it's the workload getting to you.

Kanga

Crazy_train · ‎19-02-2017

Hello I am a male and I can hear you also, my wife was unable to look after our new born, I was a real Mans Man and I was a diesel mechanic and overnight I went from changing big truck engines to handling a delicate 4 day old baby. Our baby is 4 now and I have been left with severe depression and have no social life or interaction, my baby is perfect, my wife is excellent and is perusing her dreams and employment I am left with nothing no self esteem, no job, no friends, nothing to look forward to. You need to get help it will not get better in my opinion it won't just go away, of course you love your boy but you need to also love yourself and fix yourself. People who have bad days or get depressed occasionally have no clue what it is like to be constantly sad and they don't get that you don't set out to be sad you actually convince yourself tomorrow you will try this and do that but it will always come back to haunt you with out some extra help. It gets harder the more it is put off by getting yourself right your Boy will benefit also in the long run. I wish you all the best and I feel so many peoples pain and I hope you get through this hard time and come out bigger and better.

Quercus · ‎20-02-2017

Hi SJ,

Firstly congratulations on your baby. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist and have reached out for help and I hope it is helping. If you don't improve keep asking for help from your GP, the community midwife, your friends and family, on here...wherever you can.

I have two kids that are now 2 and 3 and it is exhausting. A lot of people don't enjoy mums groups but it is worth a try if you don't have friends with small children to talk to. I found it very hard to leave the house but having that regular appointment to talk to other mums was helpful. It's also good to build your confidence with leaving the house with bub.

It is important that you take care of yourself! A friend of mine asked her husband to come to one of her counselling sessions and it really helped them both maybe that could be worth a try.

Take care and I hope things start to look a bit brighter soon!