Bad day

[Casper-23]

Hi all. This is my first post. I am having a bad day and can’t get motivated to get off the couch. I slept in really late then got up and put the tv on and have barely moved. Have read lots of posts about exercise but can’t think of anything worse. I am eating my way through a box of chocolates. Might as well finish them now! 

I don’t have many friends but am having a fight with one of them which is really upsetting me. I nearly didn’t go to lunch yesterday because she was going to be there. I went and it was really uncomfortable and awkward. I know I am being immature and making things work and that this is a pattern for me but so hard to change. (I am not young so should know better) 

I have huge self esteem and self worth issues which I work on but obviously nothing is working today. 
Thanks for reading. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Casper_23,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums,

Many times I’ve done as you have done, stayed in bed and consumed an entire box of chocolates, I’m sure many have similar, so pleased don’t be hard on your beautiful self…

I am not young either…67 and even though we should know better, depression gets into our head and it’s so very hard to get motivated to do anything at all…..you’re not alone 🤗💜…

Have you spoken to you’re Dr about how you’re feeling along with your self esteem and self worth thoughts?….maybe they can help you by giving you a depression assessment…

I think, although it was hard to turn up at the luncheon you were so brave, even though you felt uncomfortable and awkward you done what your heart was telling you to do….and shows that you don’t hold a grudge, well done Casper…

We have a thread about “little achievements you done today”…which encourages each other to do even the smallest achievements even if it’s only getting out of bed…which on down days can be huge….you can search the title…”Small Achievements you managed to do today”….Please feel free to read and/or contribute to that thread if you feel up to it…it’s both inspiring and encouraging…

Do you live alone, or have a pet, hobbies you like doing…I really would like to know, but no pressure at all to answer any questions I’ve asked…

My kindest thoughts Dear Casper, with my care..

Grandy..

[OldFella]

Hi Casper_23, congrats for going to the lunch, I   have bad days and force myself to go and confront issues like that in the hope that it will make my day better. I hope this worked for you. Self esteem issues are quite huge to overcome at times, I know the everyday struggle myself, I just pray tomorrow will be better and tell myself there is someone far worse of than myself....I think with all the grief going on in the country we should consider ourselves blessed to be living all though is so very hard at times.....keep looking forward, you are not alone ...

[Casper-23]

Thanks Grandy

I have struggled with issues for years and have seen many drs and am on anti depressants. I have lots of knowledge and self awareness but that doesn’t always help when you are having a bad day. 
I live on my own but have 2 fur babies-cats. I struggle with friendships and feel like I never fit in. I hate conflict so usually just avoid a person once I’ve had a disagreement with them. This has lead to  the end of some long term friendships and this one is heading the same way. Even though I know this- I am repeating the same mistakes. 

[Casper-23]

Thanks. Yes I always think about how lucky I am and that there are people much worse off than me but that just makes me feel guilty. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Casper,

Thats so good you have 2 fur babies, I have 3 fur babies (dogs)…that help me when I’m in depression…they demand to be let out for toilet….and food…

Is the friend you had conflict with usually a nice person, it’s sad that sometimes difference of opinions can destroy a friendship…I mean do you think if you continue to meet up with this friend in a group, that eventually that whatever the conflict was over, that it will soon be forgotten…..True friends do try to work through things, do you think a mutual meeting to respectfully discuss the issue is something your both open to?..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy

[therising]

Hi Casper_23

I feel for you so much, I really do. When so many little triggers add up, what they add up to over time can start to really mess with us in a number of ways. It's kind of like 'What's wrong with me?' before starting to make sense when adding one thing up after another. I can really relate to some of what you say.

As a 53yo gal who's a real feeler (with the ability to feel so many triggers), there can definitely be an 'I'm old enough to know better' or 'old enough to have worked life out by now' feel to things along with a

• questionable lack of good quality sleep. For me it's typically when I don't use my sleep apnea oral appliance. plus
• a comfortable enough couch to lie down on. A couch made of nails, broken glass or sand paper would make it impossible to relax comfortably into fatigue. plus
• some emotional eating, to either gain a little more energy or just some sort of 'joy' plus
• a lack people in life to force us to get out and do exciting kinds of things (can relate) plus
• some absolutely shocking internal dialogue which really doesn't help matters. You know, the kind of stuff that sounds like 'You're hopeless. You're lazy. You're dysfunctional and you're never going to get any better. This is it, this is your life and this is who you are'. Depressing stuff when it plays in a loop and becomes completely convincing

Oh, yeah...nearly forgot to add self esteem issues that don't offer the kind of inner dialogue we really need to hear at times plus no solid sense of direction we can really see plus a serious lack of inspiration. So, that's 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 equaling what feels impossible to manage collectively. Individually, can be a different story. When we're on a comfortable couch with plenty of energy from a good quality energising night's sleep, not a problem. Too much energy to stay on the couch, fantastic. An assortment of friends where any one of them could knock on the door and lure us into some adventure, easy enough. No energy but still enough vision and excitement to lure us into a different kind of day. I think when everything adds up, it can definitely become depressing, especially when it can all be on repeat day after day.

Being real feelers means sometimes we have to be able to feel what's going to begin to make the difference. Can be so hard to get a feel for exactly what it is that's going to begin making all the difference. When all you want to feel is energy, above anything else, exercise definitely holds a vibe of impossibility at times. I think the change can begin with a compromise at times and that compromise can sound like 'While I'm not willing to go for a run around the block (an exercise in running around the block), I'll indulge in the exercise of researching what factors generate more energy'. An exercise in research can become an achievable and highly productive thing, even if it's done while sitting on a comfortable couch. It could even produce a revelation or some inspiration, things that can definitely be felt.