Bad day

[Sarah J]

Am mother of six and a widow. Struggling.  Taken in another child with too many problems to count. Help

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Every now and then here we get someone just like you that we feel we'd like to give a big hug of gratitude for your kindness. But people like you also fall into traps because, as my therapist once said decades ago "Tony, when are you going to stop saving the world". And "charity begins at home" 

Anyway, there isnt a lot I can help with as you havent provided much information so if you feel like adding more here I could help more. Couldnt be easy getting some time alone to post. 

Hope to hear from you again.

TonyWK

[Sarah J]

Thank you for your kind words white knight. The young person I have taken on is my daughters best friend. She was being physical and emotionally abused by her parents whom are addicts. If this isn’t enough for her to cope with it came out (about 9 months of her living with us) that she had been regularly sexually abused by a neighbour and family friend. This began at 11 years of age. As you can imagine she is extremely damaged and needs constant attention and validation. I cannot do this for her. I have my own kids that also need me but when she doesn’t receive the attention she craves she acts out or cuts. I’ve been parenting full time for the past 28 years and my youngest has just turned 13. I am soooo tired. 

[white knight]

Hi Sarah,

I think the first major step you have already taken - to accept that you are out f your depth with your capacity to care for her and your children. You do need help. 

If you havent already, I'd contact human services in your state and explain the situation. If they find appropriate accommodation and care for her you likely could still be her main contact and influencer. Most of us are not qualified to treat and cope with these situation but hats off to you, you have tried and been a main supporter for her.

By opening your home you have shown her what a "normal" home can be like without the affects of addictions and instability. That is a wonderful gift to any person let alone one so young.

While Human Services isnt perfect in its operations it is the best avenue for you at this time. A few years from now and yes, you might very well be her parental figure and that will be a wonderful gift to her as she gets on with her life, but right now is not the time. 

Thankyou for writing in and seeking guidance.

TonyWK

[Sarah J]

We have all supports in place, youth workers (x2). Family support worker and my own support worker. Her parents are still a problem. They are no good for her development yet are so in her head. I am being inundated with messages from her father about how evil I am. It’s not ok. Ian also dealing with  other kids problems. Over taxed right now

[Sarah J]

I haven’t been on because I have 6 other children to be worried about