The warmest of welcomes to you. My heart goes out to you so much at what sounds like one of the most challenging times of your life.❤️
I think sometimes it pays to wonder about some of the people around us. When we're left only wondering about ourself ('What's wrong with me?'), it can really bring us down. There are those around us who can truly be tested when we are facing one of the most challenging times in our life. The question can be 'Do they pass the test or do they need to learn more, when it comes to how to manage the really tough times and how to help us through them?'.
As a gal who's been married for more than a couple of decades, one thing I've come to learn over the years (amongst many things) is that my husband is my 'go to' person for some things but definitely not for everything. While he's too uncomfortable when it comes to imagining what some of my struggles can be about, my 21yo son is typically my go to person for helping me gain a greater vision of what they can be about. While my husband can't handle the emotional challenges when it comes to getting a feel for what some of my struggles can be about, my 23yo daughter is an intense feeler and can often gain a feel for why I am suffering in certain ways. I know some who can gain a deeper soulful sense of certain struggles, some who can gain a purely logical sense of the best way forward and some who don't want to sense the challenge to begin with. It's either too uncomfortable for them or they prefer to just feel what they want to feel. Before her passing, my mum was a real all rounder when it came to a sense of vision, feeling, soulfulness, logic and more. The reason for mentioning this and offering these examples is so that you can begin to consider whether your husband is the best person to go to in order to help you through these challenges you face or whether you need to find a completely different guide at this time.
I've found the best guides are those who will wonder with me, not walk away to leave me alone to wonder about why I'm struggling. They'll be people who help shed light, not leave me alone in a sense of darkness with no answers. They'll be people who can lead the way, in the right or best direction, as opposed to leaving me alone to feel lost with zero sense of direction. I'm wondering whether you have any such guides in your life, who have been able to offer you such things in the past. New guides can be something to consider too. Whether you find them on the forums here or through PANDA.org.au or through a really good GP who can point you in the best direction or somewhere else, the question remains 'Is my husband my best guide under the circumstances?'. Personally, I can feel a sense of excitement and optimism when it comes to finding the best guide, whereas finding the wrong one can feel thoroughly depressing, deeply depressing at times. Can definitely feel who's who, that's for sure.
Something else to consider is whether your husband has completely jumped to the wrong conclusion, with the mentally ill comment. I've found sometimes it pays to wonder 'Is what I'm facing and feeling a mental issue/challenge, a physical issue/challenge (such as a chemical imbalance) or a soulful or soul destroying issue/challenge or is it a bit of a combo of all three?'. While some may choose to drown out significant challenges with alcohol, others face the sober fact that the challenges remain to be met. Given the fact you've come here, you're already rising to meet them. Full credit for that, for raising yourself. Far from easy to do at times, that's for sure.❤️
