All kind of going down hill

[goalstosmile]

Hi everyone,

I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore and how to find my purpose in life? There are things I enjoy, but I have no motivation to get out of bed.

I quit my job, lost my friends (because of anxiety and depression) so now it's all getting worse.

i have a partner who is a chef so he is barely ever around but when he is I have my moments and he never understands but makes me feel so small. I don't know to explain myself anymore? I don't know what to do anymore... no job, no friends....nothing I'm just in my early 20s also I feel like everything is just so wrong

I would love any possible help

lots of love,

goalstosmile

[geoff]

hello, depression is a curse and anyone who has struggled with it knows well and truly what it's capabilities are and how it can just cripple anyone, and I'm sorry this is what is happening for you.
Unfortunately your partner isn't making your situation any better until he realises what depression is, but at the moment I'm not sure this is going to happen when he belittles you, which is only going to make you feel worse.
I don't know how long this r/ship has been going because this can have an affect on what you can do, but first off you definitely need to go to your doctor, who will probably want to prescribe you some medication and then refer you to a psychologist, and because you're not working ask for the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free visits per year to see a psych.
What does concern me is that this may have been building up over a long period, but you have been pushing it away, hoping that it will stop, but it doesn't all it does is gain momentum, but I'd like to hear back from you. Geoff.x

[Croix]

Dear Goalstosmile~

Welcome. I can sympathize whit your plight as I've been there too, like many on this Forum.

When bad I had no connection with life, no motivation, no hope, believed things could only get worse. No energy.

I mention these things (in a rather mild way) so you can get the idea I really do relate. I'm not the same person now, I have an interesting fulfilling life, plenty of motivation, energy and sense of self-worth and achievement. I also have love. I'm not 100%, but can cope with down times.

There is a while heap of hope for you. If I can be brought out from the pit so can you. Please do as Geoff suggests. Book a long consultation with your doctor, and before you go -at your leisure - write down everything, how you feel, what's been happening, when things started.

Don't leave anything, no matter how embarrassing or frightening out. Show the paper to the doctor. I found this was the only way I could be sure of remembering everything (and not chickening out about some things in front of the doctor)

Have a look at the Depression and Anxiety sections in The Facts menu above -and also if you feel like it browse some of those areas in the Forum to see people who have been in similar situations.

I did make a big mistake - I left things far too long - years in fact. This made matters progressively worse and consequently much harder to tread. I'd hate you to fall into that trap too.

Please post again, you will be met with sympathy and understanding

Croix

[DonnaM]

Just to expand a little on what Geoff has said about your partner...

You must REQUIRE your partner to support you. It took 8 years for my husband to understand that I truly was ill, that I wasn't make things up or exaggerating things to get out of working or housework or anything like that. Eight years of battling severe depression - that sometimes tipped over into psychosis - ALONE.

Defeating or learning to live with mental illness is hard enough without feeling the need to convince people that you're really ill, or having to justify your behaviour every damn day. If you are not getting the support you need from him, then you either need to get him educated on this stuff (take him to appointments, have a professional explain things to him) or you need to think about whether or not this is someone you can spend your life with. You deserve support and love, you deserve to be believed, you deserve to get better. An unsupportive or -even worse- an actively antagonistic partner will only make this harder and make it take much longer.

I wish you the very best xoxox