Hello Succulent Queen, I self medicated with mostly wine when I was suffering from depression but have now stopped for nearly two years, although I abstained many times for different reasons, and the first couple of drinks were the best but from then on, all it did was numb the situation and cause great difficulties in my marriage and was certainly one reason why we divorced, so know exactly what you're talking about.
If you aren't taking an AD then may be you should consider this and talk with your doctor, but it won't make every day perfect, there will still be days when you feel down, but with AD's you are then able to pick yourself up quicker than if you're not taking them.
Being in the community and retaining friendships could be hard, especially when they are drinking and you're not, but when you watch them a couple of hours after they started, it's amazing what antics they get up to, some may be funny while other times crazy, but you wake up much better than they do.
Some people benefit from AA, I was one who didn't, every week the same people stood up and said the same story they've said over and over every week, so to me it became monotonous, the same people and the same stories, although I was in the country.
Stopping can be difficult for some people because they haven't the crutch to fall back on, while others don't like the taste anymore and realise they need to move forward as there are too many consequences involved, whatever they may be.
If you can try and stop these nonalcoholic drinks, that's a temptation you don't need because people will ask you why, whereas if you are drinking any fizzy drink, you seem to have more confidence, and also with nonalcoholic wine, it's easy to say to yourself 'I'll just have one', but with dry ginger, this doesn't happen.
When you used to drink an ocean of wine, your thoughts would deviant from one extreme to another and probably had no recollection the next day or perhaps made harsh decisions which the next door you could be shocked about.
Now as I get older my physical health has declined and secondly, I don't miss it at all, people can be drinking in front of me and it doesn't cause me any problems at all, my life has changed and now focused on my new behaviour, completely different than before, where alcohol ruled my life, I don't want that to happen anymore and it has made applying for insurance (life) much easier.
The past is the past, tomorrow is a new day and please get back to us when you are available, so we can talk some more.
Geoff.
