Dear Tempest1609~
Welcome back, I'm glad to see you here again. I read how you were around 6 months ago and you way you write about what you have done realy seems as if -while you are not where you want to be -you have made some pretty good strides towards it.
You are out of your old environment, hopefully do not have insensitive and just plain stupid parents to put you down, and most of all you are helping a freind.
Yes, I realise there is a way to go and true, it does feel weird to still be alive and doing after you were sure you would no longer be here. I've felt that way too.
I guess trying to help a suicidal friend may have more of an effect on you than you realise, particularly as there are things in common, however I've been though that and it made me feel utterly useless, frustrated and a failure at the time.
The person survived , and later on when in a much happier state told me that talking with me was the one thing that kept them going. I could not see why at the time -and still realy don't, except there is magic if there is someone in the world who understands and cares. It makes the world a bigger and less isolated and lonely a place.
Can I ask if you are getting the proper help for the drugs and self-harm? Tying to kick either habit by yourself is really hard -and can be easier when assisted by specialists in those areas. Just one example can be if you have a "Buddy" from a support group to ring up each time the urge becomes overwhelming.
I know you do not like talking to doctors, maybe if you simply wrote everything down, a bit like here, and just handed the paper over? Then see what happens.
There is a better side to life and I'm lucky, I'm living it. I was a suicidal mess and if I can be here I'd think you can be too.
I hope to hear from you again
Croix
