A common issue.

[247Confused]

Hi Everyone,

This is my very first post not only on Beyond Blue but on any type of mental health forum. I'm going to try keep this as short as possible so please bear with me. I am asking for any suggestions, tips or even reading materials.

I am a straight 20yo male and have dealt with a lot of anxiety my entire life. I have always been very shy and not so much as an outgoing person. I've particularly dealt with a lot of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) throughout my teenage years although I was never diagnosed with it, it was very clear to me that I was suffering from the disorder. I'm glad to say that it is almost non-existent in my life, however in certain situations I do get a bit edgy. I have never in my life tried to reach out for help until now and I kind of see it like I should tackle this on my own. I know it's heavily encouraged to seek help with this sort of thing but I really want this to be the first step towards creating a more fulfilling life for myself. Not only that, but the entire world could tell me get assistance and I know I would still struggle to do so. I really don't like talking about it with anyone, even my closest friends. Again, I know it's perfectly fine to but I really want to do this my way.

At this current stage of my life, I am incredibly confused and frustrated with myself. I feel almost desensitized to life's pleasures and I find it difficult to look forward to certain things or gain the motivation to do the things I want to do to benefit myself. I am not sure if I'm suffering from depression but I do get very down on myself quite often. I work and study (online) part time. I hate university, I can't stand it and it's definitely not for me. The only reason I started it was because I felt like I had very little self-worth at the time, and I still do. I like to think of myself as independent and I really enjoy business and would be interested in tackling this by myself.

I am very very very self conscious about the way I look, from every piece of clothing to the hairs on my head, again this is something I have always dealt with. To be honest it's a mixture of all these things and I'm afraid that if I don't start to work on it (like I should have many years ago) that I would forever be on a downhill roller coaster.

Furthermore, surprisingly enough I'm not too bad with women, it boosts my confidence quite a bit so I guess I'm not completely in the dark.

Thank you so much for reading this, any tips would help a lot.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Quirky might be a word that describes you as it does I. Our nature sometimes dictates us as the reason we dont quite fit in.

Google

Beyondblue Topic the frog and the scorpion

This means we have a limited capacity to change ourselves.

Crucially a proper diagnosis is needed or you'll be wandering in the dark. I hot one in 2009 and it included depression and anxiety (expected) and bipolar2 with dysthymia (both unexpected ). That changed everything and the appropriate meds changed my life. Google

Beyondblue Topic what life's like at the end of the tunnel

beyondblue Topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Beyondblue Topic the origins of anxiety

Beyondblue Topic Maharaji he helped me for 25 years

Beyondblue Topic the best praise you'll ever get

Some of us prefer our comfort zone which is often being alone rather than risk a place of discomfort in a social scene. We should acknowledge this is not good, the easy way is not the best way.

Same with seeking therapy, we should challenge ourselves and go.

I hope the threads help.

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi 247Confused,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out.

I'm getting the idea from you that you've been struggling pretty intensely with social anxiety for a while, haven't yet wanted to seek help but want to try and do more self-help type things to try and make a difference. Have I got that right? A big credit to you for being here and speaking up; as someone with an anxiety disorder I can understand and relate to a lot of what you're going through.

So, there are lots of different resources that can be really helpful, but I think putting them into practice can be the hardest part. These thoughts and beliefs that you (and all of us have) are so automatic that it becomes hard to challenge them and get past them when they feel like facts. That's part of why therapy can be so helpful, but any support that you have is good support.

One of my favourite books with social anxiety is called 'We are all mad here' by Claire Eastham. It's a super easy read, but it helps you understand anxiety as well as showing you different techniques along the way. The techniques are the same sorts of things you would learn in therapy anyway, and Claire struggles with social anxiety so it's purely focused on that.

There's also this resource here which some people have found helpful - https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Anxiety I especially recommend the one about situational exposure.

You might also be interested in this course here (it's free) - https://mindspot.org.au/wellbeing-course There is phone contact with a therapist though but not much (an hour a week from memory), and the aim is to help you through the course, so it won't be like a therapy session. A lot of people have found this one very helpful as there's lots of examples too so you can get an idea of how people use the skills in everyday life.

Hope some of this resonates with you. Let me know if it's not or if I can help elsewhere (I'm a bit of a reader!).