Hi Coastgal86; I hear ya girl! I went back a few steps last week. It happens now and then, more often than I'd like. But I decided a long time ago I'd be kind and forgiving towards myself. I hope you can be too. I know how difficult it can be with little ones, a husband and being chief cook and bottle-washer as well. Sometimes falling apart has to wait till everyone's in bed.
My little boy came to me and told me a neighbour threatened to hurt himt. I had to keep my face free of absolute trepidation, anger and shock. We discussed it (he was four) and then I sent him to rest in his room while I went into the bathroom and shoved a towel in my mouth to scream. I sat on the floor and writhed in disbelief, wiped snot and tears all over the towel and went back out, called the police and cooked dinner. And no, a paragraph can't express what happened that week. I do hear you though.
As I said, we fall apart when we can. Driving in a car to my favourite secluded spot to scream into a towel or pillow was my thing. It wasn't that my son never saw me upset, he needed to know I was real. But sometimes we need to make time for those important moments; to scream, rant, punch pillows and cry. Good psychologists will help you do this too.
I live in a moderately sized city where I run into people I went to school with, worked with, been in groups with, are family or see their face on a regular basis. My psychologist was in my year at school with me! She's the best counsellor I've ever had.
I'm not saying you shouldn't feel embarrassed, goodness knows it took me a while to admit even to myself I was in therapy. But a great psych is important when support is limited. So is a good GP you trust and can open up to.
I'm glad you joined BB Forum. I've purged here and there and have found great support.
...Dizzy...much hugs
