10 Things I Hate About Depression

[Sparkles183]

1) I hate the way I am crying inside and I do not know when I will stop.

2) I hate the person who I have become and I am not the person I used to be.

3) I hate that I feel I no longer have purpose in life and my goals is no longer the same.

4) I hate the fact no matter what treatment I try everything seems to get worse.

5) I hate it when the people around me rejects and abandons me when I need them most.

6) I hate that I have been bullied by professional’s the people who I supposed to trust most.

7) I hate the last 6 months of my life it has relay been hell

😎 I hate the fact that I am haunted by the images and thoughts of self-harm and suicide on a regular bases although I can control the urges and know I never do it.

9) I hate that I am alone in this fight and no one is with me.

10) But most of all I hate the fact that I cannot longer fight this on my own and I need all the help I can get.....

[pdent]

 yes Mel your sure not on your own 

I feel guilty that I didn't know what people were going through till it was me

I simply can not understand why I can't change my thoughts

So many good things get clouded by negative thoughts that's wrecking my whole self

 yet I have only been doing this for a month seems like years  

I am amazed that there are people strong enough to battle for years

I keep doing research to find a cure as I can't accept this is me

Best result so far is statisically most people eventually get better 'seems unbeleavable when your in such a dark place

Pete

[Sparkles183]

Hi Geoff

Thank you for your support and your Reply.

It is always encouraging hearing peoples recovery of depression and I thank you for sharing your long journey of recovery it gives me hope that one day I can walk that place of freedom.

I was listening to a podcast last month and the guy that was speaking said one of the problems with my Generation is we live in the microwave generation, just like a microwave dinner we expect everything to happen in an instant and we are not willing to wait. He said that if we don’t get a reply from an email within a day we complain if we spend longer than 5 seconds waiting for a page to load on the internet, we think that that is too slow and with our generation we can book a ticket on the internet and be in a strange country the very next day. And many years ago that journey would of taken months

And I think it is true my generation has forgotten what it is like to wait.

And I think that has been the biggest hurdle I have had to get over in this journey in depression. I do need to accept it takes time for recovery from depression. And the recovery of depression may not happen overnight which is what expected and I may not find the right medication or treatment straight away which I have found evidence of. But with the right combination of treatment and a lot of determination it will happen.

I just need to learn that it takes time

thank you so much for your support.

Sparkles

[white knight]

Hi Pete,

Think of mental illness as an omelette.  Leave out one ingredient and it is no longer an omelette. (I left out the cheese this morning lol)

So leave out any one of the following in my opinion and you are pushing uphill to overcome the challenges that face you-  regular GP visits, therapy, proper diagnosis, proper meds, correct dosage, peaceful non conflict environment and family stability. Finally, acceptance of your condition in that you have to manage it not conquer it.

Then, happiness is possible as you've given it your best chance.

[Sparkles183]

Hi Mel

Someone once told me what you are feeling is real to you despite what others may think.

I do hope things get better for you and you seek the right help you need. I also encourage you to keep posting on this forum the amazing community here has helped me a lot and I hope they can help you too.

Please take Care and stay in touch

Sparkles

[pdent]

Thanks for your insight white knight

I am taking in everything you say

And your probably right about acceptance ...like insomnia sometimes the more you fight to sleep the worse it becomes

I hope things keep working out for you

[Sparkles183]

Hi Pete

I just want to reassure you that you are not alone either.

There are many people on this forum that is going through the same journey of Depression, but keep strong I believe that there is hope for us all to see light at the end of the Tunnel.

Hearing story’s like from Tony and Geoff is evidence that we will recover from this. I too keep researching for cure or other treatments.

I understand that when you have depression the time when you are suffering from that dreadful thing may seem like a long time and can be very frustrating.                I encourage you to keep seeking the help you need.

You seem like a strong person even coming on these forums shows evidence of that.

Stay strong and take care

Sparkles

[geoff]

dear Sparkles, thanks.

One thing we have to remember is that if plan A works for me or someone else doesn't necessarily mean that it will for you, but then plan G will be the solvent for you. Geoff.

[Mel__F]

Hi all I'm so surprised how you guys brighten up my day just reading and really listening to you all, your stories, wish it knew you all personally, today life looks good, you are all wonderful caring people, may good possative things come your way

[pdent]

Yes the positive vibe coming from everyone is great,people learning to accept and survive their situation' inspiring'

This community is amazing ,i get distracted when I'm on here and i get definite relief from myself and my thoughts 

And any distraction feels good

Tonight i will cook fresh baked snapper and asparagus for my son who is studying

He needs brain food and I need my brain to give me a break

All we can do is Keep doing the best we can even if that's just lying down trying to relax

Thanks for the distraction

pete

[pdent]

Thanks for your positive reply sparkles

I hope you get to discover what gives you some peace what ever that maybe 

Pete