Worst Joke Wednesday

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

 

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

 

1,445 Replies 1,445

Jojo100
Community Member

Knock knock

Whose there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

Cargo broom broom broom

Jojo100
Community Member

Teacher: can anyone give me a sentence using the word politics?

Pupil: my parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!

Jojo100
Community Member

Q: why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross the road again?

A: because he was a dirty double crosser

Jojo100
Community Member

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Old lady

Old lady who?

Wow I didn’t know you could yodel!

Birdy77
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Would all those who are here for the yodelling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Queue: The ueue is silent
Tsunami: The T is silent
Honest: The H is silent
Island: The S is silent
My Jokes: Everyone is silent

IreneM
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Knock knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange, arn't you glad I didn't say Banana again!

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

What kind of shoes are made from banana peels?

Slippers.

Birdy77
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes?
In case he gets a hole in one.