Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Moonstruck]

I went to visit the Air and Space Museum........but there was nothing there!

[Skary Bill]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. It was just a simple ceremony, but the reception was amazing.

[Mr Ploppy]

A man walks into a bar, then into a table and a wall.

[Birdy77]

Q: What did the snail say while he rode along on the turtle's shell?

A: "Wheeeeeeeee!!!!"

(Big grateful wave to the very thoughtful Sir Croix)

[Croix]

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

-C

[Birdy77]

A man, whose job it was to courier crates full of snails around in his station wagon, stopped to refuel. While he was inside paying for the petrol, someone stole his car. He came outside and said: "Hey! Where did my escargot cargo car go?!"

[Croix]

You realize it isn't even Wednesday, oh well ...

If Popeye liked escargot instead of spinach
Would he be known as Popeye the Snailorman?

-C

[Mr Ploppy]

Why do the French eat snails?

They don't like fast food.

[Skary Bill]

What's going on with these terrible snail jokes lmao.. Anyway here's another.

A man and his pet snail walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my snail." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the snail falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a snail."

[Croix]

And another terrible snail joke ...

In the forest, a little turtle and a little snail began climbing a tree. It took them forever, but when they reached the highest limb, they were so happy. The turtle waved his arms and fell to the ground. The snail waved his antennae and fell to the ground. After they came to, they
began climbing the tree again.

After quite some time, they reached the top. The turtle and the snail began waving, and again, fell to the ground. After several attempts (and BIG headaches), the 2 birds who had
been watching them the whole time, shook their heads sadly.

The female bird said to the male bird, "Do you think we should tell them they're adopted"?