Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[sbella02]

What did the quartz say in her wedding vows?

I promise I won't take you for granite!

[Eagle Ray]

After the rock got divorced why did she leave her job and leave town?

Because she wanted to start again with a clean slate.

[Croix]

Why was the beach sad?

Because it had been shingle all its life.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the rock fail the choir audition?

Because his voice was too gravelly.

[Whatsinaname]

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quack

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the duck who was working as a GP at the medical clinic lose his medical license?

Because he was found guilty of quackery.

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone…..🤗🩷..

A man walks into the pet store and says, "How much for the duck?"

The pet store clerk says, "30 dollars."

The man says, "Ok, just send me the bill."

The pet store clerk replies, "Sorry but you have to take the whole bird!"