Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[mmMekitty]

Q: What does a Martian call Mars?

A: Home.

Q: What does a Venusian call Venus?

A: Home.

Q: what do I call my home?

A: Science Fiction.

*

Q: How do you get enough fibre on a desert island?

A: Coconut Rough-age.

[sbella02]

How do bird learn how to fly?

Wing it.

[Croix]

What tree gives the best high-fives?

A PALM tree

[mmMekitty]

[Grinning/groaning LRC]I guessed that one, Croix! 

[Eagle Ray]

Under which tree do the most motor vehicle thefts occur?

A Carob Tree (Car-rob).

[mmMekitty]

Yeah, ER, I get it ...

& where is the most lemon squash made?

Under Lemon Trees

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the sea mammal trainer feel lost?

Because she couldn’t find her porpoise.

[Croix]

Did you hear about the existential crisis at Sea World?

Given all the pressure they're under to release their animals, they're fearful of a porpoise-less existence...

[mmMekitty]

Good ones, ER, that one was pretty worse, more worser than Croix's - which I think was really pretty good! So here's one I just made up. How do you think it compares?

Q: Why did the army's sea mammal trainer refuse to work?

A: Because the tanks were not fit for porpoise. 

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

MK, that was pretty good too, as in good good rather than worse good. I am going to lower the bar with…

Why do ants secretly conduct weddings on the backs of an African grazing animal?

Because it is an ant-elope.