Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

I missed Wednesday -sigh

Have a substitute instead:

What do you call a pachyderm that doesn’t matter?

Irr-elephant.

Croix

[Croix]

Why is an elephant big, gray, and wrinkled?
If it was small, smooth, and white, it would have been called an aspirin.

[Eagle Ray]

Why was the Shetland pony worried he might be coming down with the flu?

Because he was a little hoarse!

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the spider climb into the internet?

Because she was looking for a new web-site.

[mmMekitty]

Okay, try this one:

Why did my mouse crawl into my computer?

Just looking for a little bite...

[Eagle Ray]

Hehehe good one MK. Here’s another…

A young man worked for a canoe hire business. He hired out a canoe to a mouse and the canoe was returned damaged and leaky. When his boss asked him what happened, he said the damage was caused by a little row-dent.

[Ggrand]

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?…

A: A bull-dozer

[sbella02]

Oooh I found this one the other day (I'm a day late from Wednesday but shhh)

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

[Croix]

Guess the well known saying this reminds you of....

I wanted to go on a river so I hired a kayak. After stetting off I started to get pretty cold, so I got some little branches and made a small fire in the center of the kayak. Unfortunatly just as I was getting warm it burnt a hole and the kayak sank.

[Croix]

Oh dear, no takers?

OK the phrase is:

You cant' have your cake (kayak) and (h)eat it.

-C