The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[startingnew]

Hi everyone else on
here: Raynor, Ms P, Sara, Lonley Dan and everyone else
hope all is well
with you guys

Ms P- yep I agree
its good to be part of this community and with people who understand

Ooh Sara- you hit a
nerve there- my nan use to call my missy all the time- you are
allowed to call me that though- your pretty special to me- new
nickname for you to use. thats pretty much one of the most special things anyone who is close to me (who i give permission to) can cal me and i give you permission to use that

as long as the latte
is caramel or just a tea will do- cant drink too much coffee- aaannnd
im on a diet so good old salad for me lol
yes its pretty
amazing being here- and yes time is our friend- sometimes it goes too
slo though when going through the hard stuff- id love to hit the fast
forward button but all well- it makes me think of the beautiful
people quote.

Hugs to you

[MsPurple]

Hi startingnew

When I say diet I mean my every day eating. I try eat a healthy well balanced diet. I avoid fads as they don't work. What helps loose weight is lifestyle and healthy changes. Yes decreasing your energy consumption will result in weight loss but then you increase it again (to maintain) with healthy foods. This is where people tend to go wrong, they finish their weight loss and eat the same foods they used to and expect a different result. I also try limit my discretionary choice foods and have them in moderation. I suggest going to www.eatforhealth.gov.au It is done by health professionals called dietitians.

I always aim to eat 2 serves of fruit and 5 serves of vegetables a day. I'm not perfect but I do try and eat healthily and make better choices. It can be hard and we all fall off the wagon but trying to get back it the next meal is what I try do (not the next day)

Also a caramel latte sounds great about now

[Just Sara]

Dear Essen;

I'm sorry I used the term 'missy', I don't even know why as I've never used it before. I can say though it was meant as a term of endearment ok? Thankyou for giving me permission, but I think I'll leave it with your nan. 🙂

I'm really pleased to read you're making efforts to address lifestyle changes. It means you're getting into your recovery with intent. Well done and keep up the great work hun!

MsP...your suggestions for SN have given me encouragement too...thankyou. I'll be checking out that site shortly. The media/marketing sectors are so full of conflicting information re food and lifestyle, consumers are confused to the point of exhaustion.

I'll let you know how I go.

A big shout out to our usual contributors who haven't been posting for a while! Missing you guys!

Inviting those who read and don't have the courage yet to post, to join us with your comments, questions and welcome presence. We'd love to hear from you...

Take care everyone...

Sara x

[startingnew]

MsP

yeah I get what your
saying. Ive increased my exercise from and hour and a half to 2-3
hours wher I can- often half in the monring and half in the afternoon
ive made a lot of
lifestyle changes such as eating healither- I dont do fads as I know
they dont work and id prefer a long term thing rather than something
short lived. I limit all sugary items etc and if I do have anything
its only allowed once a week and its only something really small

yeah im not perfect
either but I try to stick t is as much as possible




Sara- oh dear- I
didnt say something I shouldnt have did I? I knew what your were
saying and it was all in good intent etc- you dont have to be sorry.
I didnt make me sad it just reminded me of her





I have a womens
health nurse who specialises in weight management as well so I see
her every few weeks as well- Sara that could be something you could look into as well if you like... then you have one-on-one support and not just websites....

[inner_strength_]

Hi Everyone!

I'm new to this! I'm intrigued by these forums and hope I’d be able to join you.

Identify as a same-sex attracted female. I’ve been a bit of a recluse lately and hope to begin socialising again by starting with these forums.

Tried to catch myself up on some of the conversations. You all seem like such lovely people.

Would say more but thought I’d keep it short.

Was interested in what your advice was in making friends within the LGBTQI+ community after losing confidence in socialising?

Thanks guys. Hope you are well and take care!

inner strength.

[startingnew]

Hello and nice to meet you Inner Strength

These forums are awesome and these are a loveley bunch of people 🙂

Im new to this coming out as well and still really unsure of myself so i dont think i can be much help there...

But i think when meeting new people you should just be yourself

Welcome again

[Raynor]

Hey all, I'm sorry for the long delay in between coming here. Welcome innerstrength - this is a thread of good people 🙂

Sara yeah my anxiety of speaking is identity related. It's not actually speaking per se but being seen. I feel like (maybe from experience listening to others speak!) that most people don't actually listen all that closely so what I say could be largely bs and nobody would notice or care. But they notice what you look like. And I don't like how I look. Seriously. A lot. So yeah that's the problem.

*Warning serious dumping ahead*

I'm also having problems with the psychologist who is supposed to be - maybe - signing off on me starting hormones. He's really busy so it's 4 or 5 weeks between appointments and he says he needs to see me for at least the Medicare-funded 6 sessions. That makes for a long time in total. So far, I've had 2 sessions and he hasn't even let me talk about gender. He's fixated on my parents and their religious beliefs and practices. I feel certain he's going to say no to me... because he thinks I don't fully 'feel' the parents' impact and feelings impact on your identity apparently. I don't really get it but knowing that he's going to say no has made some old ED habits restart. It's not serious - I'm in control and it's actually helping keep my mood up but I know longer term, it's not heading to a good place.

So blech, life's a bitch. And thank you all for hearing me 🙂

[inner_strength_]

Thank you startingnew ☺
appreciate your reply!

That is true, thanks for that! Do tend to overthink things so simply remembering that can be helpful ha

Take it easy. I've definitely questioned myself too much it is ridiculous.

​Have heard many 'girls who like girls' on Youtube even say they don't feel they fit the term Lesbian. For yourself, maybe bisexual works and maybe it doesn't. Honestly, LGBTQI+ Youtubers have helped me personally in figuring out that sexuality is fluid and you don't need to identify as solely one term (even if it seems frustrating and confusing). For me, same-sex attracted feels most comfortable.

Get what you mean about coming out. Never really did, got in a long-term current relationship and kind of let my family figure it out. It is definitely difficult feeling like you have to come out each time you meet someone new. I get nervous that I won't be able to make new friends because of my sexuality. But, our society is getting more open-minded and remember, you are not alone x


Can I ask what you're unsure about? coming out or being sure of your sexuality? If it is being sure then what simple thing that helped me be sure (for now) was the feeling I'd get when talking to women over men. Butterflies (ha!) in a sense!

Don't be too hard on yourself!
Hope to keep talking x

[Just Sara]

My dear Raynor;

I'm happy you've posted as worry does tend to build when you don't appear. Bless you; I can't imagine what you're going thru hun.

As for looks? My avatar is a little like me in personality further back in my recovery, though in looks I fail miserably.

My 1st question to you is; 'At what point would you dismiss anything I've written on BB forum after seeing what I look like?'

Have you considered that your fears work in reverse too? Seriously, would you judge me by my looks?

You'll have a room full of people wanting to hear what you have to say, and they won't be judging you as harshly as you judge yourself either. I know this sounds really difficult to swallow Raynor, but we're just not that important in the scheme of things.

You'll command centre of attention for a while, then...what? Your boss and co-workers who already know what you look like are the one's to please. They're the one's who believe in you.

You have 10 days to prepare; your attire and personal grooming's important, as is your demeanour and confidence. Stand tall, put that smile on your dial, keep eye contact and make everyone in that room feel special.

I have absolute faith in your abilities Raynor; I have faith in you hun.

I'm sorry this all sounds a bit preachy, but sometimes life requires tough love. Stop looking in your mirror and finding fault. Take the bull by the horns and knock 'em dead!

Btw...your psych will be judging you on 'coping' abilities and management strategies. Historical data's important for the big picture and their evaluation; it's their job. Try not to worry about the what if's.

Love ya babe! Mwah!

Sara xo

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Inner Strength! Can I call you Eyes? Combination of I and S, as well as the pretty one's in your photo. 😄 I like making up nicknames for people; hope you don't mind.

I'd written a great post to you yesterday but it was snapped up by a website error...bugger! So, here I am again to greet you in our lovely Rainbow Café. 😉

I'm glad you and my sweetie pie Startingnew (Essen) have found common ground, She's come a long way since her arrival; I'm so proud of her (Sorry to talk 'about' you SN)

Essen, MsPurple and myself mainly identify as bi; it's a work in progress, so having a girl's girl on board's nice...yay! I came out on BB forum early last yr albeit 40 yrs in the making. You could say I'm a 'bi' product of 'fluid'. giggle...

I think there's confusion for some, including me, about gender vs sexuality. I don't like using 'identify', but as we only have that word for now it'll have to do. I can be a Tomboy some days and ultra feminine the next.

My reality, is I find sexual attraction just as fluid as my feminine and masculine days. Personally, I experienced a horrible incident on a date with a woman from an internet dating site. It's changed my outlook due to being hospitalised afterwards. Dreams are still free though.

Anyway, would love to chat and continue seeing you in our café for ongoing loveliness! When I say 'seeing you', I mean it; you're a beautiful young woman.

Shout out to my gals Essen and MsP!

Warm thoughts...

Sara xo