Mixed Emotions - share how you're feeling about the last few years with us here

[Sophie_M]

Hi everyone,

We’re all going through a global pandemic on a scale no one has ever experienced before. And because this is all so new, it’s hard to find the right words to explain and talk about how we’re feeling – with many of us feeling emotions we’ve never felt before.
We've created a new set of words that give labels to these ‘Mixed Emotions’, so it’s easier to identify and talk about them – even if we don’t know exactly why we’re feeling them.

Mixed Emotions:
Are you feeling HappyFlat - when you’re excited for the day ahead, but just can’t be bothered anymore?
Or ChillPanic – when everything around you is calm, but inside you’re stressing out?
Or maybe you feel WorryHope - when you keep switching between looking forward to the future and being worried by it?
You might feel OpenShy ­- when lockdown is over, but you’ve forgotten how to talk to people.
Do you feel FineTired? Everythings alright, but you just want to nap all day.
Or maybe it’s BoredStress ­- when you can’t think of something to do and then get worried you’re not doing enough.

We’d love to hear if you connect with any of the above mixed emotions, or if you’d like to share your own mix of feelings. We’d also love for you to share what’s helped you through the pandemic. Is it self-care? Enjoying more time at home? Acknowledging how you’re feeling? Reaching out?

If you don’t know how to feel right now, you’re not alone. The Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service is available to everyone no matter what the situation – you don’t need to be in crisis or have a diagnosed condition to seek support - and no problem is too big or small. We’re available 24/7 at coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au, or on 1800 512 348.

[Guest_1643]

Hello

I feel devastated numb

Part of me feels nothing because I don't have the energy anymore

There's some buried anger at certain government and community leaders for not caring how they affected people's mh

But anger scares me, since my childhood, so I feel that's pretty buried. Mostly I feel powerless.

Sorry if younguys wa Ted more hope from this thread. I don't really feel hopeful, grateful or Lucky.

I feel drained , betrayed, taken from and shaky.

I also feel weak. Like my voice isn't loud, clear or assured, and no one can hear it,

[Sophie_M]

Thanks Sleepy21. There’s no need to apologise – there are no right or wrong emotions here, and a lot of people are feeling some of the things you’re describing. We’re really glad you could share this here.

It sounds like you’re going through some really difficult emotions, so please remember our lovely counsellors are here for you if you’d like to talk it through. The Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service is open to you 24/7 on 1800 512 348, or you can chat online here.

Thanks again for sharing with us, Sleepy.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Matchy69]

Hi Sophie and hi Sleepy.

Yes it has been a rollercoaster of a ride the last couple of years especially suffering from mental health problems. I was scared of covid when it first came about and I was scared for my children and them getting it and losing their battle with it.Then I realised it wasn't that bad but the politicians were still trying to scare us with it.I feel safer now then I did with the first outbreak.

I came on here well before covid suffering mental health problems.I was feeling very sad not understanding why things happen in my life.Also struggling with two special needs kids and wondering if they will ever improve.Well my daughter graduates school next week as a straight A student and starts Tafe next year and my son has improved a lot that he manages to get through a whole day of school without having to be picked up.He still has his moments but certainly improved.

Definately a rollercoaster for me and my family.

Take care,

Mark.

[quirkywords]

Mark amd Sleepy thanks for sharing your experiences and for your hinesty.

I find it hard to pick two opposite emotions as for me it changes. Most regular posters here know I was affected by the fires then not long after covid came.

Recently I have been feeling some belated grief for my loss and feelings of no one understands me.. I cant really tell anyone because people say that was 2 years ago are'nt you recovered yet.

Having read many of the posts on various covid threads I know people are suffering from fear, from being numb, from changes from being separated from others and much more. I can sense their pain from their words.

I feel I have little control over my life as I had it all worked out then that was change in less than an hour.

I also feel isolated as I moved to a new community but really have not felt I belong here despite being a volunteer and meeting people.

I do feel hopeful as I have several grandchildren all born during the pandemic. I am hopeful but worry about their future,

Sleepy I am sorry you feel numb. We are listening to your voice. You write in an open and honest way and you share your vulnerabilities.

No one is expected to feel grateful or lucky. This thread is about acknowledging the emotions people have.

I feel confused at times .

[Elizabeth CP]

I feel relief to be out of lockdown & be able to see my family legally (Unfortunately being allowed to see them legally doesn't mean I can see them as my dtr is so busy trying to cope with work family etc as the demands of covid have made these much harder and added extra stresses so she doesn't have time to visit) Being able to do some of the things I used to do but were stopped due to lockdown is a relief.

Conversely I feel anger fear & frustration. While people can go out and enjoy themselves my hsb can't get the surgery or other treatment that he needs so he can eat & talk properly because of the covid cases in hospital. I had a phone appt with a specialist which had been originally scheduled 4 month ago but postponed due to covid & then changed to phone. The doctor said he couldn't help me over the phone as he needs to see me to decide what to do. I should have recovered 6 months ago at least but having therapy changed to online or phone or cancelled has left me with no proper treatment. I get really upset with people breaking rules and putting people at risk which then puts pressure on hospitals affecting people like us. While most people do the right thing the few who don't put others at risk. I'm now scared to speak to people because there is such extreme views even from normally reasonable people and I can't cope with it

Quirky it is important for people like me to hear how you are going after the fire. Too often noone speaks about it so if like me you didn't get over it quick you feel it must be my fault. Not that I wiant you to still suffer but hearing honest feelings helps others feel less alone and abnormal.

[quirkywords]

Elizabeth thanks for you honest post. It is 8mlortant to be able to say how we feel.

I wonder how many feel guilty that while lockdown may be over they still can not see family and friends for various reasons.

[Leisa68]

Hi all,

I feel frightened, my mood is so high and so low. I have bipolar so all I can think of is that I am going through some sort of manic episode. Flights of ideas, completely crazy ones. I do have appointments with my psychiatrist and psychologist this week, I know I am luckier than most. I know that we cannot feel happy all day, but do these feelings have to be so severe?

Hanging in there. I am so worried about the future, in particular the near future. Thanks for reading this.

Leisa

[Bambi192]

I have been feeling so overwhelmed the last few days. I started a new role at work recently and I feel like I’m not being taken seriously which has made me feel pretty worthless.
I feel like everyone doesn’t want me to be around them and I’m just a burden to everyone. Today has been particularly rough and I can’t stop crying. I just want to sleep but can’t stop my mind from racing. People at work have noticed something is wrong but I have trouble putting it into words when I speak face to face with someone.
I just want to be able to talk to my best friend about what I’m feeling but I don’t want to burden her with my problems and I feel like she’ll just think I’m stupid anyway.
Sorry for the ramble I just needed to get that out and if you read this far, thank you

[Guest_1643]

Hi quirky, thanks for not judging or offering advice but for validating my experience. I felt better and safe knowing i could speak my mind here. Sometimes I feel pressure to feel positive and optimistic, even though times have been so rough.