Friends Cafe - social space for members under 25

[Kazzl]

Hey! Welcome to Friends Cafe.

This is a chill and chat space for young BB members to talk about anything and everything and make new friends.

When school's getting to you, uni or work has got you down, parents, partners, friends don't understand, and especially if you're feeling alone or lonely - come and relax awhile and talk to others who know just how you feel.

Our minds can cause us trouble, but they can also be amazing things that imagine beauty, love and fun. This cafe has everything you can imagine. To start with it's, well, a cafe. So there's chairs and tables, comfy couches for flopping, a big screen tele, unlimited download on computers for games, Spotify (or an old-school jukebox if you prefer), every movie you can think of on instant demand ... whatever you want, it's here. Post and tell us what'd you'd like.

Plus, there's an infinite menu of whatever food or drinks takes your fancy. And it's all free!

To kick it off, today we have a special range of Monster Milkshakes - those thick gooey shakes topped with cronuts, chocolate bars, cake, cookies ... whatever you want. And if you can get through one of them, you're a legend (and probably feeling a little bit sick LOL!)

Welcome friends.

[Guest_322]

Hi Ahw,

Good on you for reaching out and letting us know how you're really holding up. Year 12 can be very stressful, and I have been there before so I hear you, sister. Zeal and James would be able to empathise as well as Demi (who is probably going through some of the same feelings as you).

It's a crazy year & can feel a bit like a pressure cooker. But for what it's worth, you're in good company here 😉

It must be a huge shock to the system to have to adapt to the HSC study demands. It's tough when you prefer group study when most of your friends tend to study individually.

Here are my suggestions:

- Think about your best study location(s): do you find certain places more/less conducive to studying? E.g. Local library, at a desk (and not your bed, for example), etc

- Unless you're waiting for an important call, it helps to turn off your phone or put it on flight safe mode when you're studying (phones are super distracting- I'm guilty of constantly checking my phone ha, ha).

- I would also suggest turning off social media while you're studying

- Figure out your preferred means of information absorption e.g. Long notes, mind maps, etc.

- It often helps to devise some sort of study plan. So maybe sit down and plan what you're doing for every subject between now and each exam.

For example

- Monday: practice writing 1 English essay, complete 1 practice math test, 1 practice chemistry test

- Tuesday: 1 physics past exam paper, etc.

Some people find it helpful to allocate times to each activity whereas others prefer to have a list without allocated times.

I think just choose what you think will work for you. In saying that, sometimes having time frames helps with the discipline.

- Regularly reward yourself after completing "x" number of study tasks. e.g. If I practice writing an English essay, I can spend 10 minutes on YouTube.

- Take regular breaks when you're studying

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi Ahw,

Good question 😊 The motivation part is a bit tricky because as you already pointed out, that has to come from you.

You seem (understandably) frantic and worried. It's horrible when you want to do something but the motivation is lacking.

If the various things that theoretically should motivate you- the ones you listed- aren't exactly fuelling the fire within then maybe you could try a different tactic (for now)?

I don't know the exact dates (& I know it varies between students depending on your subjects). But can I suggest for now that maybe you don't try to analyse your relative lack of motivation too much( purely from a time pressure perspective)?

Maybe for now try to figure out how to study with minimal motivation. How do I put this?

At uni, I often don't feel like studying; I generally don't feel like revising or working on an assignment (even if I like a unit). But I try to get things done even when I'm feeling "meh."

I personally find a lot of it is habit formation. It's a bit like, hey, I have an end goal (e.g. a certain ATAR in your case) but rather than focusing on motivation aspects, maybe look at it as problem solving like "okay, I want to get "x" mark for physics. What steps can I take between now and my physics exam to achieve that?" Then start listing what you need to do e.g.

- revise physics notes

- do past HSC physics exam papers

- get my sister to quiz me

- etc

Once you have a list of what you need to do for each subject then allocate days to them and try to start following through. Give yourself small rewards for following through e.g. 10 min on youtube, 30 min on FB, go for a walk, Netflix (1 episode), etc.

Starting is hard and there will be periods where you will not feel motivated. But if you push through (even if you're low on motivation), sometimes the studying starts becoming a habit over time.

Hopefully that made some sense.

All the best! Bed do me now!

Mega hug,

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

*Correction: bed for me now

[Zeal]

Hi ahw,

I can definitely relate to being unable to focus on study. Before my final Year 12 exams, I studied far less than I should have. I was anxious and using avoidance in a very unhelpful way. I self-sabotaged my potential, for fear of not measuring up to some standard. In my head, I would constantly compare myself to others, and got distracted and lost in thoughts too often. I ended up majorly underperforming in my exams, but got an acceptable ATAR score. It allowed me to enter my first preference at uni, which thankfully didn't require an ATAR in the 90's. I know I could have got a better score in Year 12, but now that's not relevant. At uni I still use avoidance when it comes to some assessments, like prac reports.

Dottie's tips were great, so definitely take on those suggestions if possible.

I am a big fan of informative sites, so I'll provide some here! 🙂

http://au.reachout.com/exam-preparation?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=social-youth&utm_medium=post&utm_content=150916

http://au.reachout.com/wellbeing/school-uni-and-study

http://au.reachout.com/wellbeing/goals-and-motivation

I hope you can find motivation and be self-compassionate 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Demi1]

Hi all 🙂

Hope you're all well, sorry I haven't been online for a while, been quite distracted attempting to absorb all the knowledge/quotes required for exams haha.

Good to see you back James! Although I am slightly confused haha as much as I love the owl... no you know who...? I just completed the quiz then; apparently I am a Ravenclaw. Got any exciting plans the rest of the week?

How are you feeling Dotti hopefully not still under the weather? Do you have many more assignments to do, or are exams coming up for you as well? haha and yes, my post-HSC list IS forever growing and I wouldn't have it any other day 🙂

Hi Ahw I'm sorry you're feeling as though your exam prep is not as great as you'd like it to be 😞 But Dotti is right, we're all in the same boat! I feel like there is not a single student who ever thinks they are as prepared as they would have liked to be. The advice Dotti has given is very helpful in my opinion; but I want to stress how important it is to have an ADAPTABLE to do list. If you write down all the things you wish to get done, and don't get around to doing all of them, you may end up feeling worse off. I usually start with a smaller list, and leave 30 minutes free at the end of each subject for 'catch up' (to finish the things I didn't get around to finishing. I also am a HUGE believer in the REWARDS system! Although the 1 ep reward I just had may have turned into a 2 hr nap haha wooops, definitely worth it nevertheless. Another thing I find helpful is inviting friends over for Study Days 🙂 Sounds weird, but having other people around to motivate you and encourage you, as well as creating a relaxing environment really helps me! I hope some of that is helpful but mostly I just wanted you to know I also feel as though my studies could be more productive but I'm content in knowing everyone feels that way at some point 🙂

Hope the rest of you are well!! Zeal, Tara what are you guys up to?

Demi xx

[james1]

Hey Demi,

My year 12 tutee is into his last week of study as well and busy memorising quotes and things for English next Thursday. Still, I think there's a lot that can be done in a week if you've already done the hard work already, and it sounds like you have.

Aha I'm glad you remembered I was going to put him up. I'm so forgetful. I forgot to do that. I will leave Mr Frogmouth up for another day and go evil for the weekend 🙂 As a kid, I always hated You Know Who because he killed James! And then when I was older I learnt that James was an idiot and Sirius is the real champ.

The rest of the week will be helping my tutee with his English essays, working and... I dunno. I think I'm going to try and learn another instrument or start singing again. I have a guitar at home which I keep starting and stopping. Maybe I'll try to pick that up again. The weekend is meant to be nice so I want to go for a snorkel 🙂 Haven't done that in months.

I imagine you'll be studying frantically for Thursday? 😛 How many exams do you have?

James

[ahw309]

Thank you Dottie, Zeal, and Demi for your amazing help, advice, and comfort. I'll definitely take into account your tips and suggestions 🙂

I tried to sit at my desk and do something both yesterday and today, but even just doing one question, or reading one page of notes, seems like too much. Hopefully I can do even just a little each day, and maybe build up the habit so by the last week of the hsc exams, which is when half of my subjects are, I will have done some work. 🙂

Thank you all again, I appreciate it very much!

[james1]

Hey ahw309,

Good on you for giving it a go today.

If it's any consolation, I'm seeing someone who's trying their very hardest to the point of even reaching out for advice. That's something I never had the dedication to do, so I'm very impressed.

James

[ahw309]

Thanks James, it really means a lot 🙂

[dark_unicorn]

Hi everyone!

It was pretty busy today so I didn't get around to posting, and this might be a quick one sorry, bit hectic at the moment.

Zeal - Glad to hear your cold is going and that you got an extension on your assignment! Good luck with all those!

And I think my cooking skills are pretty questionable.... Muffins and Spag Bol and pretty much the only sort of big things I can cook. After those, it's toast and grilled sandwiches haha 😛 My friend and I always joke that if we live together we'll burn the house down in a week!

Dottie - Haha black and white hair would be awesome! If you look at Melanie Martinez's hair, it's always half/half and it looks sooooo cool!! Although blonde ombre does look good. Quite few people I know have got it and it looks so nice. Whatever you decide to do (if you are), let us know how it goes!

Aww I hope the lectures aren't too boring, although the ones I've see in movies seem to have the students falling asleep! A question for anyone, have you ever fallen asleep in a class or lecture?? I never have but a girl fell asleep in Worship (like mass) last year and no-one noticed until the end haha.

Oooh a denim jacket sounds great! I have a blue denim jacket but its too small for me now!! 😞 Although I do have a soft denim jacket which is like a maroon colour that I love wearing. The sleeves are too short unfortunately (as with a lot of my tops...I have long arms!), but I just roll the sleeves and wear it 3/4. I hope you can find a good pink bomber jacket!!

Tara xx