Dreams

[lookingforme]

I'm not entirely sure how apt a discussion this is for beyondblue, but in the spirit of communication and reaching out which is encouraged, I thought I would write post up, get a few opinions or thoughts.

I should say, I'm tired all the time, especially in the mornings, it's very hard to get out of bed and think about the day that I have to face.  I've always attributed this to the kinds of dreams I have - more like nightmares, really - and being an active sleeper, thus not feeling rested in the morning.  This is no matter how much sleep I get.

I get these really vivid dreams, and almost always they feel too real to me, that when I wake up it's hard to let go of the memory.  They can be traumatic and stay with me the whole day.  And if I'm not distracted enough, sometimes without thinking about it, I'm re-immersed in the dream, and I can picture myself in it all over again.  Like some kind of virtual reality.  And it can get so bad that I start getting anxious that when I get older all I'll remember are my dreams and none of my life.  I really don't want that.  The dreams can get so bad that I question if I'm awake or not when I am awake.  I guess that in itself should be a clue that I am awake, because I don't really question my reality in my dreams.  And sometimes, I just don't want to sleep, though I'm thoroughly exhausted, because of what I may dream - and this can make it worse possibly?

I've spoke to a GP and relaxation was recommended to me, but according to people I know, I don't really know how to get rest.

I'm just wondering if other people have this issue?  And if so, how they cope?

[Simona]

Well I still can't remember any dreams but I know I'm dreaming intensely. It's just that trying to recall the details is near impossible. My memory is like shifting sand in those egg timers.

But I have been pondering why I keep having the same dreamscapes year after year. Distorted dreams of the same streets, houses, forests and foreshores with that same discomforting 'vibe'. Or why I would go years without and then bam they begin again. And people; why I dream of people I haven't seen in years or have even thought about of late and then think 'oh! wow! I wonder.....'. And then I'm on Facebook looking them up

And then there's this re-occurring dream of a place I have never been to nor seen anywhere. Peculiar why I keep going back there..

[lookingforme]

Do you want to remember your dreams? I'm not entirely sure where you stand on that...

Have you come up with any answers? I think it's too easy to question why and it's too difficult to come up with an answer, when it comes to dreams. Somehow, putting it down to my brain processing information is a cop out to me. Like, why in this particular way am I processing information. Is an apple in real life a swampy pit in m brain? You know? Are you glad to see old faces?

Is this place you keep going a good place?

Sorry, a lot of questions, I know. Feel free to ignore what you would like.

I had a dream two nights ago that was so horrible that I didn't feel safe anywhere. I got up and sat in my bath tub for an hour, then moved to a little nook on the floor and then just stood infront of my bed, in the darkness, for a while before I could even sit on my bed again. It was horrible. And it involved my father, who I see every day. I kept reliving it the entire day.

Sigh...

[Simona]

Hello : ) Well it's just that sometimes I wake up and I feel like something has 'happened'. The emotions are all stirred up and it's not always bad. Sometimes it's nirvana and bliss like having succumbed to something much greater and more beautiful than anything you could possibly imagine. And as those feelings begin to fade i want to relive and take virtual snap shots of those moments lived in a dream and let those emotions ebb through me again.

The place i keep returning to is upon a mountain top with a peak of velvet green speckled with flowers of every kind. A white marble sepulchre rests in the middle. For me this is a good place. It's home. And as i picture this I'm closing my eyes and placing an open palm across my breastbone . It's HOME

I have had dreams that were too real/too intense to be 'just' dreams. But now they say to me it's an illness not a gift so...

I'm trying really hard to remain 'well': stable: functioning. I have my good hours and bad hours.

Your dream sounds very frightening. Do you mean you ran yourself a bath or did you sit in an empty one? Oh gosh i feel for you. I used to have awful nightmares of my mum. She's a recovering alcoholic but when i was younger i used to think she would turn into a witch and i would see her in my dreams hunting me down from the sky above and i would have no place to hide.

[lookingforme]

That place you dream of, it's sounds beautiful and peaceful, and I can feel how much at home you feel there.

I haven't been feeling the bliss a good dream can bring, recently.

I hope the good hours get longer for you. I am right there next to you showing and giving you support, remember that.

it was a horrid dream. The bath tub was empty. When I would hide from my family I would escape mainly in the bathroom (during the hours everyone would be awake). I got used to the bath tub being a place of safety. All crap would happen while I was experiencing the intense anxiety but, enter the bath tub and maybe I could relax. I don't know why.

I guess we both have our safe places.

last night I dreamt that I was in a hospital bed and I was tied down butI didn't know why

[Simona]

I understand : ) here is a hug (( hug ))

Thank-you for being here. Means a lot.

[lookingforme]

Of course 🙂

[Simona]

Here is a new dream. Actually more of a night terror. I dreamt I was proof reading my own work except it had no end. The papers, the words - continued to multiply before my very eyes. It was a horror show dream. I felt like I was going to become really old and die by the time i reached THE END

I woke up at 3am and i was a mess

[lookingforme]

Hi Simona,

How are you feeling now? That dream does sound intimidating and overwhelming.

[Simona]

Hullo Joelle : )

And this morning I had one so bad I woke up and rolled straight out of bed. It's the kind of horror that makes you jolt awake and think 'what the hell did I just see'???. I would understand if I watched/read the news. But I don't. It's just so graphic. All considering I'm ok so thanks for asking : ) Just hate this business of it being so dark so early. The dark does me no good at all - feel it creeping through me like some weird change is taking place. No fangs yet though. HA HA

[lookingforme]

Hey Simona,

Yea, I know those ones. I emailed my counsellor in a frenzy once because of it. And there was no reason for it, and you can't unsee it. I have this fear that I will get dementia or something and that's all I will remember.

I'm glad that you are okay though. Hah, if you do get fangs I want an update on the profile pic 😛

I had one the other night that for all intents and purposes was horrible and graphic, but I felt nothing after. I've become so dispassionate and numb or indifferent or something...because on a normal day or "normal" I wouldn't have felt safe anywhere that I was...This, with my overthinking, has got me concerned...