Dear Croix
Yes I know where you feel comfortable...in your parlour, in your Noel Coward smoking jacket in front of the fire..perhaps a tray of tea and crumpets on a tiny table beside you...and your pipe of course...nearly forgot the pipe.
I know where the old Moonstruck is...I know where to meet her face to face, waiting for permission to emerge again..into the rarefied atmosphere where she can breathe....that day it seems, will never come...at least in my State.
I wonder if anyone would understand when I say this...I miss my car more than him....there I said it!
How heartless, how cruel some are probably thinking! I can't understand it either. Perhaps it's because the car allows me to drive away, another activity (driving in traffic) to consume my full attention, perhaps it lets me pretend things are like they were....and perhaps I am driving somewhere to meet him, like I did in the past.
I can't even walk into our usual clubs for lunchtime refreshments where I could pretend he is waiting inside as I enter....some haven't even bothered opening, and the long list of rules, numbers restricted, it doesn't sound like an enjoyable busy, thriving relaxing activity it once was and was designed for...
Without my car I am stuck here at home with memories consuming me and anxiety attacks threatening to take over.....reading bus timetables, working out best way to get from A to B...is it worth cab fare and on and on and on. Should I ask someone to borrow their car? Ask for a lift? I have no one to turn to...just lost and stressed.
