Croix Parler

[Croix]

I'd like to use this pace for miscellaneous matters that don't fit elsewhere or you think I might help

Thanks

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Welcome back mmMeKitty and wave to Everyone else,

Please ignore the walrus attempting to impersonate a waiter and convince you that you are at the restaurant at the end of the universe. I would avoid that Galactic Gargle Blaster if I were you as, according to Beeblebrox, you should not drink more than two of them unless you are "a 30 ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia".

It is wonderful to have you as a guest at our new restaurant based on snail cuisine, especially as patronage has been a bit sluggish of late. Hee hee. In fact, we've decided to delve into slug cuisine as well for our lunch menu which includes the delightful bites of pickled slug on toast and slug salad.

It's lovely to see the little red cat on BB again.

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hi Croix, ER & everyone

Yes, please, a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster will go down & up, when I gargle to cleanse the pallet & throat.

If I find a penny I think I won't ever need to spend, I'm sure my bank will most graciously receive my cash deposit. I found out the other day, in the near future, my bank will no longer issue nor accept cheques. Next thing we know, it will be cash they no longer accept - certainly not without a fee, eh? 

I do miss you guys. I had realised how I could get so involved with people and their struggles it was effecting my own mental health. Yet, in my off-line life, I rarely get even half so involved with anyone & I don't even miss them so much when they are no longer in touch.

You may not give credit to this, but, I am still struggling with the NDIA & the ART. & I'd be surprised if it is settled by the end of this year. So, still very limitted NDIS support, (maintaining one or two outings per week, maybe 8 hours per week at most).

My support worker is putting in extra time helping me to fill in a form for the NDIA. Oh my whiskers is it difficult! Having her help me means I won't be able to go out to get any well-needed exercise this week either. (Had to cancel last week, too.) 

It leaves me with much time for audiobooks & music. I'mnot inspired to write much now. Neighbours continue to be disruptive. Indeed, I feel unsafe to even walk outside my door. If nothing else, ther may be broken glass on the footpath, or worse - yes, there's worse. Complaining does no good whatsoever.

I have bought, from Coles Online, a pack of "Bunny Baits" for Easter. Go figure, eh?

Or you might prefer some (about three dozen) clam eggs, dyed with eighteen newly hatched snails on a bed of springy seaweed, in a woven pastry basket, for Easter? It's arguably the healthier option to all the chocolate and ice cream. 

Hugzies to all

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Too late ER - I've already gargled....I won't be feeling sluggish for a while, now.

Fror dessert, Syrupy Slugs in Jellyfish Jelly.

mmMekitty

Hugzies

[Eagle Ray]

Dear mmMekitty, Croix and All,

I do really understand about being impacted by other's mental health on the forums here. It can be a mix of feeling empathy and really wanting to help while also experiencing overwhelm and distress from being sensitive to what people are going through. At times I think I need a break because when I am here I am a bit of a compulsive helper, even when I'm really not doing well myself. I think it would be perfectly fine if you do want to just stay with the social threads like this one. Whatever feels right MK.

I have been reading about the difficulties of people getting the NDIS support they need. I imagine those outings really mean a lot to you. Getting a break from the isolation that can be felt at home is really important. I'm glad the support worker is putting in the extra time to help with the forms, but it's frustrating the way it interferes with your exercise outings. How ironic that you have to fill out all these difficult forms to get support for your health and well being, while that impedes your health and well being, even if temporarily. The world seems so crazy at times.

I have discovered I have a new diagnosis in the past year which is dissociative identity disorder. It is a covert disorder by nature so it's possible to go decades without knowing you have it. It explains so much looking back over my life, including confusion, blankness and high level dissociation and a life where I have changed jobs multiple times, struggled with daily tasks, couldn't understand myself and felt I was being taken over by different people at different times. I'm still really one person but with multiple identities within. I have been considering NDIS myself to get support for psychology sessions, but I'm very aware it's a difficult process. For me the struggle is functioning in daily life. I am very good at masking, but as the dissociative system has come into consciousness it has been particularly chaotic with a lot of dissociation and amnesia. So I want to get my brain in order with help from therapy that's hard to afford otherwise, but I also feel there a people in greater need than me, so I'm still deciding whether to apply for NDIS. if I did it would be under the category of psychosocial disability.

I just looked up Bunny Baits which I had never heard of before. It seems it is a mix of yummy bits and pieces to entice the Easter Bunny. Your suggestion of the clam eggs dyed with newly hatched snails on a bed of springy seaweed in a woven pastry basket sounds like an absolute delight and a wonderful addition to our restaurant as an Easter Special!

Hugzies to you too,

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Oh, yes, well, you will be blasting away with energy for quite some time I expect.

Yummy dessert options! I am partaking of some Apple and Slug Slice 😋

Good night and sleep well MK and All

[mmMekitty]

Hi ER (Croix & everyone),

I hadn't heard of 'Bunny Baits' before , either. For me, the concept is about as silly as 'Reindeer Carrots'. The very idea of taking things like candy coated chocolate or stubby fresh carrots  being packaged & sold in this blatent grab for, I think, children's attention ... it's worse when I contemplate the marketers of these products were possibly trying to have a little fun, knowing they are really there to come up with ways of selling product.

Nevertheless  I like such silly things.

If I thought I could get away with it, I just might try selling 'Clam eggs as a healthy alternative to bird eggs & a perfect accompaniment to pasta, (try aquafarmed vermicelli), or added to salads, or given a sweet or savoury crumb coating & deep fried for a less healthy treat. 

I am interested to know how you feel about having this new diagnosis?

I applied to have Psychosocial Disability included into my own NDIS file. My psychiatrist had to write a report to submit to the NDIA. He wrote his diagnoses of me, which we had not actually talked directly about before. I was not surprised by the Dysthymia, rather than Depression. I can easily understand that, because Dysthymia indicates a low-level chronic form of Depression. I was certain about having PTSD. I was not expecting anything about having a personality disorder. He wrote that I have Schihzoid Personality Disorder. It was a surprise to me that he had that there. I did a little research & quickly realised this diagnosis looks a lot like me. I hadn't even heard of it before. It doesn't get the attention other personality disorders get. I suppose, it's because we who have Schizoid Personalities or Personality Disorders are people who are 'in the background', off on our own, preferring to not interact with people, so no-one sees us.

It doesn't bother me to have this diagnosis alongside the others. Learning about it helps me understand & accept myself, you know, not being so critical of myself for being the kind of person I am.

Someone I'd known a little while (20 years ago) had DID. They maintained private health insurance in order to get the quality care they needed in the private system. I don't know how they managed that, with private hospital stays not fully funded & a psychiatrist specialising in DID. I can only imagine it is even more difficult to get very specialised care like that today.

For myself, I have my private psychiatrist, using the Medicare system. It's generous. Each year I know roughly how much out-of-pocket I will need & it's very doable on a pension, though it means coming to terms with prioritising my mental health, (& my physical health including dental health, too) above not so essential expenses.

I hope you find the therapy and support you are seeking.

Goodnight & hugzies,

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Hello mmMeKitty and wave to Croix and All,

I think it's great you get into the spirit of Easter, including the fun things available, even if they are marketing ploys. I was in the supermarket today but didn't think of getting Easter items, but there is still time. Clam eggs with vermicelli really sounds nice to me. I love the fine quality of vermicelli. It's so delicate to eat. Yum!

I have had a range of feelings with the new diagnosis. On the one hand, it's a stigmatised, poorly understood condition, so not something I feel I can discuss with anyone in my actual life. Only my psychologist, a GP and people I've called on helplines know about it. But on another level, it has been kind of liberating. I finally make sense to myself. At first it was a strange experience as the alters/dissociative identities emerged into consciousness. I briefly wondered if I had late onset schizophrenia, but I remained grounded and the voices that were beginning to communicate with me were part of a rich inner world that now makes enormous sense. I exist in these fragmented selves because of early trauma, some of which has only come to light as the dissociative identities have. DID is an amazing adaptive response and it works to keep itself hidden, often even from the person who has it. I have 19 parts/identities now including myself, and I expect a few more may pop out. They range from an infant through to older adults. They are truly my family now and I love them very much. We have good co-consciousness and internal communication, but there are still periods of amnesia as well. Because I can feel love for the parts of my system, it is enabling me to actually love myself/ourselves for the first time in my life, something I could not really do before. So I think it's a blessing even though challenging.

That's interesting about the Schizoid Personality Disorder. I remember you mentioning that diagnosis before. At the time I was wondering if it actually fitted you and was surprised too, but now you describe it more, it makes sense. And it totally makes sense that those people who have it are in the background, not drawing attention to themselves and getting noticed. Some other personality disorders present more obviously in people through everyday interactions and personal relationships. But if you are more in your own company, no one may know. I think it's great that that the diagnosis doesn't bother you and that it helps you to understand and accept yourself more. I feel similar in that I'm less hard on myself now, realising what was going on all that time.

I am working out a similar process of budgeting for my psychology sessions on a pension. In previous years I have used an additional 5 Enhanced Primary Care plan sessions along with the 10 Mental Health Care Plan sessions. With DID the recommended frequency of sessions is at least once a week, with the main recommendations being 2 x2hours sessions per week or 3x1.5 hour sessions a week. The longer sessions is because of the complexity of working with alters/parts. That is not financially possible for me without additional support, and so that's why I'm considering NDIS. I'm not sure my psychologist could do such frequent sessions on her schedule, but even if I could get more than I have in previous years it may help. But I am managing quite well at the moment and our internal system of parts do a lot of our own work, supporting each other.

Anyway, than you for your kind thoughts MK. I hope all goes well with your various forms and you will be getting out for your exercise and outings again soon.

Hugs and sleep well,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Can't stay long tonight. Tomorrow I will be having a little celebration, because I didn't do it today. I'd like to spend the whole day soaring (effected by another amazing Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster). Weeee! Just peel me off the ceiling when I fall asleep.

What am I celebrating? It's been exactly 31 years since I quit smoking & almost as long as it's been since quit drinking, )well, technically, ought I include tiramisu and cherry liquor chocolates?) 

I am going to listen to some Everley Brothers songs & dance to any that are fast enough.

I'd love to have a programme that could work out how much money I haven't spent on the cigarettes since 'This Day' in 1995. Or anything I've stopped wasting money on. I only know it would be an astonishingly large sum.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty  

[Eagle Ray]

Hello MK, Croix and All,

MK, I’m just imagining a little red cat, somehow in cartoon style, stuck up on the ceiling in a state of elation with an expression of glee under the influence of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster 🤣

Well done on the 31 years cigarette free! And the almost equivalent time on drinking too! I’m sure you’ve saved heaps, especially as cigarettes are way more expensive than they once were. My neighbours smoke heaps and I know it’s a big part of their budget. They are rather fond of weed too which wafts its way into my unit at times. Perhaps I will also end up gleefully on my ceiling 😆 But the natural high you get from your not smoking achievement is a joy to hear.

Wishing you a peaceful evening. I’m on my couch under a blankie trying to motivate myself towards preparing dinner.

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hello Er, Croix & everyone,

I was once in a car, with a couple people who were smoking weed, (one was the driver).  They wanted the windows closed. I didn't want to breathe it, just not interested. I tried to breathe shallow, trying to not inhale. still, after a little bit, I was feeling rather annoyed, getting more annoyed until finally, I was feeling so agro I thought I could hit someone if they said anything even slightly wrong.  I felt the smoke in the car had a very unpeaceful effect on me. I think it was too concentrated in the enclosed space of the car, too, because I've been in the vacinity of people smoking before. Indeed, some of my previous neighbours have & some current neighbours do smoke.  Mostly I simply find the smell of smoke, all kinds of smoke, very physically irritating to smell & breathe, even in small amounts amounts.

That's been something I've noticed since I stopped smoking cigarettes.

& just recently, I've realised I get craving for certain foods far more intensely than I ever did for the cigarettes or alcohol. 😹 Give me Catnip any time!

Hugzies,

mmMekitty