A few weeks ago, I found myself, questioning everything in my life and could not sleep, and I had this re occurring concept in my head. So I got up and simply began writing. This is what followed.
Ascent Down
As my alters falter, fleeing like scurrying rats
Leaving this lost and confused shell
Not knowing whom or where to turn too?
The broken and disillusioned child is all that is left
I dare not venture down that path
As I know the outcome
An ascent down
Returning to the gates of hell
A cave of loneliness and darkness
Burning with the fires of emotions
Destruction of self, the previous outcomes, already determined
Why now?
Whence so much progress has been fought for
The demon battles and dark morbid angels confronted
Wasting in the aisles as this battered and scared soul emerges
Moving from a world of self-denial
Acknowledging the previous cobblestone pathways to emerge victorious
The survivor, yet once again facing the…
Ascent down
What has triggered this once soldier of empath
To consider returning to the realm of implosion
Is this another flash in the pan, testing my resolve?
Or is it another ascent down
Ending in my final demise
Where is my preceding survivor?
Who shone the light of hope for self and others
Why now has his light began to fade?
I need to survive this ascent down
As there will no return from this last crusade, ‘sept for esteem or failure
What of the coups? What of the conquests that have been made?
Recall with valour and pride alike
How far you have ventured and how much you decreed to others
What of the forages that you have embarked, never knowing of the aftermath?
Is it really time for the…?
Ascent Down.
I drawdown on my bankroll of strength and resilience
Cashing in my last hurrah, to grant my last crusade
To accommodate my esteem to its rightful manor
Who shall bellow in the great halls of victory…that the wrongs of others have been righted?
Who will halt this disease, this plague of youth?
Who will stand with foot on heads of the predators…victorious in this last crusade?
If not, it be I.
I must end this Ascent down.
For others less fortunate enough
Less resilient and seeking refuge in the bright shadows that I cast
Providing light and hope, like the beacon protecting ships lost in the night
I need to once again don the armour to protect the pathways for others to follow
Away from their own
Ascents down.
BearShark
5th April 2022
