Confused on what’s going on

[Adventure_girl]

Anyone else feel like they don’t know what they’re doing with their life? Feels like all my friends have plans and things to look forward to with their careers and relationships and I’m stuck in a low paying job not using my qualifications. I recently moved away from my friends and family to be with my partner which was ok at first but it’s getting harder by the day as i don’t have any friends around me and am constantly staying home alone. It’s making me smoother her so much because she’s the only person I get attention from but it’s starting to take a toll and I feel her getting more distant from me. I feel worse and worse by the day and she doesn’t really understand she just tells me to go see someone about it which isn’t helpful. Can anyone relate or is it just me?

[Croix]

Dear Adventure_girl ~

Welcome to the Forum, I'm sorry it's taken a while for you to get a reply, it's a sad fact this system does not always highlight work as well as we would like. It's no reflection on you, just a pain.

Working in a job you do not like and being away from freinds and family is pretty horrible and will grind most people down in time. Sometimes circumstances are not that good.

On the up side you do have a partner, and from what you implied have successfully got some qualifications - all good. I can see that here is a temptation to rely heavily on your partner at the moment, only natural if she is the only one around. Mind you it places a burden on her which she may find hard to deal with as if you care for someone, see they are unhappy, and don't have any way of making things better it is very frustrating and worrying.

So no, it is not just you, it is basically the situation. Do you think there are things you can do to make it better? You mentioned the job is pretty ordinary. Now that you are in employment would it be possible to look for something more in line with your interests? A real pity to not enjoy gong to work every day. Job hunting while working is much better than when unemployed.

With the social scene and friends distance does make it harder. Is there anything you can do to make more freinds where you are now? Doing something in a group of organization or club? I've no idea your interests of course but there's often something, from theater to animal shelter.

Anything like this might make you rely less on the home scene and maybe make the both of you happier

Please come back and say if you think this is on the right track.

Croix

[PamelaR]

Hi Adventure_girl

Croix has given you a warm welcome and a caring and supportive response. There is not much I can add, other than my own experience.

I too have moved interstate about 5 times in my life. Each time is difficult - no job, no friends, new city. What I've done is make this part of the adventure - it's all new. Finding a job, working out new ways to make friends, what sorts of things I liked. It is all very difficult, but it is doable.

In a couple of moves there was no car. So for 10 years I lived on public transport, physical activity (e.g. riding a bike and walking everywhere). It combined exercising with the outdoors. I found other exercising programs to give me an interest - swimming, aqua aerobics, also a local folk club.

It's hard work believe me. The friends I made were those who I worked with. In a couple of places I did temp jobs until I found something permanent. In one place I volunteered in the local pub to learn to pull a beer. They offered me a job, but at the same time I was offered one back in the public service. Chose the later - sometimes I wonder what my life would have been if I'd gone the other way.

I too have qualifications that I've never used. Though they did help me with the last few jobs that I had.

Not sure how much help this is for you. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone Adventure_Girl. We're here if and when you want (though - just remember we can sometimes be a tad late in our responses).

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Guest_739]

I hear you on not enjoying your job, Adventure_girl, it's something I'm struggling with as well.

I can't really offer any words of advice on what to do, but there are others out there struggling with similar situations.

Hopefully it will get easier,

Negative_Man