Hello, depression50
It's great to see you have come to BB, to reach out for help. That's not an easy thing to have done, but you have done it.
There has been so much written on these forums about depression & what people do in their own lives to help themselves to deal with & manage their symptoms. You can find much in the section 'Mental Health Conditions', under the section, 'Depression'.
I think I must have had depression for about 50 years, too, since I was a teenager (64 now), sometimes quite severly. Sometimes, when it seemed the easiest thing to do would be to simply surrender to it & give up, somehow, I didn't. Maybe, like you, it was stubborness, too, & my desire that my past not defeat me that saw me through.
Looking back, the worst days didn't last. They were not ever going to last forever, & did get better fairly quickly. No, things didn't get really good - I felt I was just above the water's surface, treading water, something like that, just existing.
More recently, becoming more proactive, making my own decisions, big & small, has helped me more. Doing the most necessary self-care such as providing healthy meals for myself, deliberately getting up & moving myself, to going out to do exercise - these have been very important for me - & learning it's okay to ask for help, & learning to tell people who can help, what I want & need.
I wish you all the best & hope talking here on BB helps you cope & manage your symptoms better.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
