All alone for Xmas?

[mcshanno56]

Hi all. I am having a very hard time with Xmas approaching this year. Does anyone have any hints for not losing the plot while I spend my first Xmas alone in many years? My partner left me 6 months ago and this will be the first Xmas without him. Also all my family are far away or not in my life. So it's not a good time for me! Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks. 🙂

[Burdy]

Hi mcshanno56 and welcome to the forums

I'm sorry to hear you will be alone for xmas. Xmas is a time highly promoted as being a "time for family and friends' which I know is not always the case and can be quite a sad time for many.

Similarly my husband and I don't enjoy much of a xmas, I don't see my family, his lives a distance away and our children have their other families to see (we are a blended family) so it is hard to co-ordinate and usually ends up just the two of us for the majority of the day but at least we have each other.

Is it possible for you to volunteer somewhere for xmas? Some years ago when I was a single mum and my son was at his dads for xmas I volunteered at a soup kitchen in the city for xmas and found it to be one of the best xmas' I have had. There are plenty of places that would be more than happy to have you help out at xmas, any of the large charities, nursing homes etc.

Anyway that's just a suggestion. I hope you end up having a wonderful xmas

Burdy

[Deeni]

Hi mcshannon,

christmas can be a hugely emotional time, with other people’s expectations generating some classic loneliness.

I’d like to suggest giving yourself the Christmas you would like - whether that is hiding away and devouring a delicious lunch, with ALL the things you like, or treating yourself to a Christmas celebration a little bit at a time, enjoying the things that you may have lost time for previously.

i have wanted a special family Christmas with a husband and children, every single year, and as I can’t have that, I will give myself as much as possible (granted that means avoiding everybody else!!!) and treat myself the way a loved one would.

crazy? Possibly 😉 but relying on myself gives me a sense of freedom.

life is precious, and despite lining up possible ways to end it, I always struggle to the surface one more time.

love and thoughts of happy times

nadine

[Doolhof]

Hi mcshanno, Burdy, Nadine and Everyone,

I am not sure if there is another Christmas thread happening yet for this year.

would like to encourage anyone to share here their thoughts of Christmas.

Christmas can certainly be a time that brings up a lot of different emotions, thoughts and feelings for many people.

Even when we do have somewhere to be for Christmas, expectations are not always met and mental health issues can make everything seems worse than it is.

One year I helped out with a Christmas Luncheon for charity and enjoyed trying to make Christmas special for other people.

I like the idea of trying to make Christmas Day as special as it can be no matter who is or is not with us. It is not easy I realise!

Wishing everyone a very special day no matter what you end up doing!

Cheers all from Dools

[JakeR]

Hi all, i am not into xmas this year. Last year on 21st I nearly died in the flinders st incident, this year, i have been diagnosed with crohns disease and 21st November this year my Dad passed away without a reason. plus its been a very trying year, i have adhd, depression and now some family members are accusing me of stealing from my dads estate.

I am pretty good at disguising my depression and try to keep happy on the outside for the benefit of others, but lately my adhd is making me angry and I can snap at anytime. I already have today, I was 5 mins late to work and had some customers annoyed that I didn't open the gym on time, seriously 4am I fell asleep and was 5 mins late because i wanted t get a basket of lollies to give to people for xmas. Then i get blasted!!!! Great xmas eve already....not.

I have declined going to family lunch as I will just let them have it.

I am thinking of donating my time on xmas day if there are any suggestions let me know. otherwise i am going to spend a day at the movies eating junk food!

or sleeping

Cheers

Jake

[Doolhof]

Hi Jake,

It sounds like you have quite a lot to contend with, then throw in customers who are unhappy, does not help at all I am sure.

I'm really sorry to read that your Dad recently died. Sending you sympathy and kind regards. It is hard to deal with a death at any time of the year, leading up to Christmas must be tough on you all.

You must have some horrific memories from the incident in Flinders Street.

Regarding Christmas Day, there may be some charities in your area you can help with. I am not sure how you would check that out though. I have heard of people going to old folks homes to visit the elderly who have no one to visit them. Not sure if you need a clearance though for that.

I really hope you manage to find something to do Christmas Day.

There will no doubt be people here on forum chatting to each other.

There is a site here called the BB Café in the Social Zone. People have random chats there if you are wanting to connect to other people.

Wishing you all the very best, if you change your mind about the family gathering, can you drop in for a while there?

Cheers to you and Merry Christmas from Dools

[gypsylil]

hi mcshanno56 know this is a bit late but I also spent xmas alone for the first time in 10 years. Wasnt good. But moved house, had a 7 years relationship break up. And was miserable. Now I have recently lost my dog. The point of this being that I intend to either volunteer somewhere next xmas or go away in my caravan for a few days. I think staying home is the worst thing we can do. I would encourage you to do something out of the home next year.

[Doolhof]

Hi gypsylil,

Welcome to the community on the forum. Yes, Christmas alone can be hard. It is great to think of plans now so you have something in place for Christmas.

You are more than welcome to start up a thread of your own if you would like to or you can join in with other threads on the forum.

You might like to start a thread about how you can make plans and have goals and what some barriers are to achieving those things, or anything of your choice!

Noticed you had sent a message here and wanted to welcome you!

Cheers from Dools