Worrying about worrying.

[Keraw]

Hi,

 I'm new to the forum and am not sure exactly where to go.

 I have been dealing with anxiety for most of my life and have been medicated for depression for nearly 2 years now. I only received treatment for the anxiety at the same time I was treated for depression (2 years). 

I live and work in a remote community in the NT and have very limited access to health professionals (we have a doctor in town every so often at the clinic then will be without one for quite some time). Recently I've been experiencing obsessive worrying in relation to issues with other staff members at work. It can be something as simple as a sentence but for days and even weeks later I will replay these issues in my head and worry constantly and have currently convinced myself that I am the most unlikable person in the world. Which isn't true, I understand this, but my brain and my body tell me otherwise. I'm always in a state of alert and am yet to find a way to switch my brain off. In a community this small I literally live my job, my students are outside of my door and my colleagues live next door also. There is no way to get away unless I go for a drive down the Tanami track, that's if we have diesel delivered in community so I'm generally fairly stuck.

I'm unsure of what to do, I want to stop constantly worrying about these seemingly small issues and I'd like to be able to sleep restfully. The nearest chemist is 5.5 hours away along with any other mental health professional and I'm feeling really swamped with this feeling of dread and anxiousness. I plan on visiting my home state later this year, and will have an opportunity to consult a doctor about my current treatment and issues.

until then I am kind of sick and worrying all the time about small things is becoming exhausting.

 any advice for how to ease my mind in the meantime would be greatly appreciated.

[clare89]

Hey mate

it definitely sounds like you're struggling a bit and need some help from a doctor and psychologist. 

Im not sure the best way to go about this but maybe you could see a dr either at the community clinic or the next time you're in Alice/Katherine/Darwin. I'm sure a psych would be more than willing to help you with assistance via phone or skype or email if that's possible/accessible from the community. 

and just remember that with the prevalence of mental healtb problems I'm sure you're not the first one to experience these issues in community. 

Next step I think is to speak to a friendly dr and discuss your options and go from there.

cheers 

[BenD]

Hi Keraw,

Welcome to the beyondblue community 🙂

Man, its hard enough getting support and help when you are in the city, let alone out in the bush. I think Clares idea about online services are probably the best way to go in the short term, and then in the long term perhaps find something more sustainable in person?

Its also great that you recognize that the how you feel about yourself isn't true about how you actually are. Thats a big step to take so well done. Once you recognise that you can't start working on improving your self-esteem so that it is more balanced. It's probably a good idea to talk to a professional about official resources, but a good start can be made right now by just writing down some qualities about yourself that are good and that you like. Keeping a diary or a journal will also help keep track of your thoughts so you can recognize any negative patterns and correct them.

Ben 🙂

[clare89]

Also, I found the online program MoodGym really, really helpful. It's not the same as doing it with a psych but all the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy principles are there. Also of course call beyond blue or lifeline for short term help. Also see if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program. 

[Carmen_Lisa]

You are really brave. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself. I hope you find the support you need.