Anxiety Advice

[DarwinMarceline]

Hi, I am new to this forum and I'm looking for advice.

I have always struggling with severe anxiety that my parents shrugged off to being "shy" I had a stutter and pulled my eye lashes and eyebrows out with tweezer to the point of not having any. Until my parents noticed this habit they finally took me to a doctor and his response was "what does a child have to be anxious about?" I eventually learn to control it but then started with panic attacks at 19 (i had never had one but my mum suffers with panic attacks this is how she knew what to do, Luckily!) I had these over 12month and has them at any small task that i thought was too big for little ol me to take on. 

Again i didn't get professional advice. They eventually stopped and i managed with all my anxiety. Since starting my current job 12 months ago i have gotten worse again. My stutter has come back and I have start pulling my eyelashes out again (I usually don't notice, it's my partner who point it out and tell me off) My jobs has been getting more and more stressful as the work is being piled on and i'm also studying online on top of working 6 days a week. My partner works odd shifts so we sometimes go an entire week without seeing one another, i have no family here and I have started to make excuses not to leave the house if i don't have to, which isn't good for my poor dogs who love their walks. I have started having a few days off here and there for "headaches" which i went to the doctors for and they told me i was "too stressed" 

This weekend just gone my partner sat me down and told me he thinks my anxiety is getting out of my control. I'm getting a lot more short tempered and being obsessive compulsive about things (cleaning the house over and over again in one day) I cry most nights when i get home from work because i don't know what to do. Everyone is telling me to quit my job but it's not that simple. I don't even have time to look for a new job let alone have an interview. My partner wants me to get professional help but i wouldn't even know where to begin. I have never sat down and told someone everything i actually feel let alone admit to a stranger that i can't cope anymore. I am struggling to admit to myself let alone someone else.

 Please help?

[Zeal]

Hi Darwin,

I'm sorry to hear that your anxiety has been so disruptive and upsetting for you. I was always a shy child too. I was also diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (an anxiety disorder) at 13. I am now 22, and I still have OCD, but it's much milder.

By the way, the doctor who said "What does a child have to be anxious about?" had no right to say that. He obviously didn't know much at all about mental health.  

It sounds as though your anxiety hasn't been officially diagnosed. Once you get a diagnosis, it's easier to seek help and understand that what you're going through is able to be overcome. Working 6 days a week while studying online (full-time?) sounds stressful. If I worked that much while studying (I'm currently studying psychology), my OCD would probably worsen and result in major problems for me.

When you are prone to anxiety or mental illness, overloading yourself can have disastrous effects. It's great that you are hard-working and motivated though. Is there a way to cut down your weekly work hours? Does your online course have flexible due dates?

I strongly advise you to see your GP. Tell them about your situation, and perhaps show them this post. Once you have documentation from your doctor, you could inform your online coursework professors or teachers, so that they know about your situation. They may set up a special plan for you which enables you to have some extra considerations regarding assessment submission, and so on.

Talking to your doctor about your feelings is important, and you'll probably feel better once you've talked through the issues you're facing. There is nothing to be ashamed of- doctors are there to listen and help, and they will keep everything confidential. It's good that your partner is looking out for you, and is able to recognize that you need help. It must be hard to not see him much during some weeks, due to both of your schedules.

Try your hardest to see your partner at least once a week, even if it's just for a quick meal or a coffee during your work lunch break.

Good luck with overcoming your anxiety.

Best wishes,

SM

[Neil_1]

Hi there darwinmarceline

Welcome to Beyond Blue, thank you for coming here to provide your post and I must admit, you’ve got a very interesting name that you’ve chosen.

Ok, so to me it sounds like your job is a bit catalyst at the moment for you with your state and being so stressed and under pressure.   You’ve mentioned how it’s getting more and more stressful and the work is being piled on – is there a supervisor in your area who you may be able to talk too?   Not to do with your anxiety at all, but totally in regard to your work and specifically your own workload?   From the outside looking in, it appears that you might be given too much work to be able to cope with;  so I’m wondering whether they’ve got other avenues to channel some of your work too or perhaps they could bring in another colleague to help you get through this particular period?

Do you think that it’s a cyclical thing and that in a little while, things will lessen with their amount for you to do??   And working 6 days a week and being at this level of tension/stress is definitely not a good way to be.

So my next suggestion will hopefully help you out with your last para – yes, I believe you need to seek out some professional help – getting to a good gp in the first instance I feel is a must.  Not sure if you have a good gp, but if not, on this site, Beyond Blue have a listing of suitable gp’s that can be searched for.  The thing with these gp’s is that they are all fully experienced in dealing with all kinds of mental health issue – and from that they would be best placed to give you appropriate referrals for either a counsellor and/or possible medication if they deem it necessary.  On top of that, they’ll be able to provide you with guidance and advice.

I hope I’ve been able to suggest something that may be of benefit to you and do hope to hear from you again.

Neil

[Carmen_Lisa]

Hi there, I won't say much as others already have. Just adding my encouragement. I have anxiety/depression. It makes a difference from when you just keep going and going and fighting the diagnosis to when you accept it and get help. It is scary what might happen if you accept it and what changes need to happen. It is also scary how to keep going this way. I hope that you can get the support you need. You may be surprised by the way people respond when you ask for help. All the best. 

[pipsy]

Dear DarwinMarceline.  Following up on Neil1's advice.  I think it's essential you see a good G.P, maybe ask for a referral to a counsellor.  With the pulling of your eyelashes, that sounds a bit like bipolar.  I'm no expert, but my ex used to pull his hair out, he also had OCD.  He had bipolar, high's and lows.  Are you on meds for anxiety?  My ex was on anti-depressants as it turned out (the wrong ones).  We found with him, his brain was racing and he wasn't able to 'keep up', hence the hair pulling.  It's a frustration because you want to do 23 things at once, you can't so you pull your eyelashes.  The headaches probably are stress related, again because you're not super girl.  It's a vicious cycle you're on.  I would get your meds re-evaluated, tell counsellor about the eyelash pulling and ask about bipolar.  I think you'll find with the stuttering, you could be trying to say too much too fast.  My (now) husband stuttered for years, till he went to speech therapy and learned to 'breathe' properly.  Stuttering is basically nerves, so you have a lot of things happening and no outlet.  Eyelash pulling, stuttering, headaches, maybe you need to learn relaxation techniques, this would help calm you.  I would definitely find out if you do have bipolar.  If you don't, that's one less problem.  Learn to slow down.

Good luck