Worried

[Rainshaddow]

Hi , new to this , don't know what to expect , suffer from anxiety and depression and C-PTSD , live alone out in rural Aus and just wanted to talk , some form of contact ,

[Rainshaddow]

Kitty , Look for Kitty/Rainshaddow on the BB social zone ,

[Rainshaddow]

Good luck today Kitty , hope all goes well 👍😉

[Rainshaddow]

I dislike this anxiety depression cycle , it's awful , why some people get it and not others is perplexing

[Rainshaddow]

I hate my life and I hate the way I am , I am so fed up being this way , just can't take the medication as it messes up my stomach , so thourghly sick and tired of this crap life , its not enjoyable , it's not easy , I hate waking up in the mornings , another day of worry and stress to get through , pretending around people that I am happy , it's so exhausting ,

[Rainshaddow]

I see all these happy people all over the place , how are they happy , why are they happy , I just don't understand it , I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy , I have no interest in anything anymore , I'm exhausted and I am over this crap existence , it's not a life at all

[Sophie_M]

Hi Rainshaddow,
 
We’re sorry to hear that you are hating things at the moment, and things haven’t felt good for a long while. We're glad you could share your thoughts with us, we think a lot of people may be able to understand where you are at today.  
 
If you need support, please know that you can call Beyond Blue to talk things through at any time, they can help you to figure out how to get some help through this incredibly difficult period. They’re always available on 1300 22 4636, or you can use webchat or email.  They may be able to provide you with some space to explore and vent about what you have been feeling today.
 
Have you been able to talk to your GP about the side effects of your medication? There maybe some alternatives which could work for you.  A lot of medication can have dangerous side-effects if discontinued suddenly, we would strongly recommend that you speak to your doctor before discontinuing.

[Rainshaddow]

Thanks for your kind words but it doesn't help , been on this rollercoaster for so long I just know nothing has worked and probably never will , I'm so angry and yet so sad at the same time , I can't even explain myself anymore , it's so frustratingly infuriating , it's in my head but I can't get it out , is that normal , what is normal , each day is a torture to me

[Sophie_M]

Hi Rainshaddow,

We understand that this is a very difficult time. We appreciate you sharing this with us, we've reached out to you via email to offer you additional support as we are concerned about you. Please know that the offer is there should you wish. 

[Kitty1991]

Hi Rainshaddow,

I am really sorry I haven’t checked in on you the last couple of days. It sounds like your going through a really tough time atm. I saw your post about the medication making you feel sick. My medication made me sick for the first four days, (upset stomach). Do you think you will feel better soon if you keep taking the medication or will you stop?

I haven’t known you for to long Rainshaddow but I have learnt that you sometimes walk along the water at night, have scones in town at a cafe and smash out a crossword, spend time at the library. Do any of these things still bring you joy?

I am hear to talk Rainshaddow, about anything. Please let me know how you are going.

Hugs

Kitty

[Rainshaddow]

Hi Kitty , how are you going , no need for apologies at all , it's all good, I'm a bit better today , i got really overwhelmed last day or two and had a bit of an anxiety/depression thing happening , it was bad ( ish ) , I get negative about things and then can't think straight , it was a rant for sure , the truth of how I feel but still a rant . Yes I have ceased medication and booked dr . Ummm those things don't really bring joy as such , I find that elludes me , they are just filling in time , I so want a job , that will help a lot I think , a purpose , an income , an outlet of sorts , seen a fella this morning about a truck job , see what happens , 🤞thanks for being there Kitty , I truly appreciate it and your time .