Worried

[Rainshaddow]

Hi , new to this , don't know what to expect , suffer from anxiety and depression and C-PTSD , live alone out in rural Aus and just wanted to talk , some form of contact ,

[Squiddly_diddly]

Hi there and sorry for the radio silence! A busy few days.

I am actually feeling quite ok today....how are you?

How great you had an ok day and want to get back to mining. That’s a great goal. You can do it, and you will when the time is right.

I have been for some lovely rides on my horse, I can get to some woods within my 10 km exercise lockdown. The sun was shining and I saw a Lyrebird, my first!

Nature is such a blessing xxx more hugs coming your way buddy, love Squids xxxxx

[Rainshaddow]

Hi squids , great to hear yr days have been busy , that's a good thing , I find I cope better when I have things to do , a purpose , although the lead up to doing things can be an uphill battle for me , I think about too many things at once , I got to learn to do one thing at a time , I get worse when I have nothing to do , is it the same with you ? How do you go with stuff like that ? Good that you can get out into a bit of country side and enjoy it with your horse and a bit of wildlife , how cool you have seen your first lyrebird , I have not seen one as yet , I don't think we have them in WA ? Yep it's back to mining for me , got to buy a house , I have a bit to do tomorrow too , cold dark and rainy here still , joined the library in town today , am going to try and focus enough to start reading again , damn anxiety makes it hard to concentrate long enough to read a book and remember what happened 😆 hugs greatfully accepted , thankyou, I feel very lucky I have some people to talk to on this site , hugs sent your way too squids ,

[Kitty1991]

Hi Rainshaddow

Wow! You volunteered for the SES and joined the local fire brigade! That’s HUGE. Wow you must be so proud of yourself. That’s amazing 😃👍.

My day was okay, grocery shopping day. Hate grocery shopping. I got out of the shops realised I forgot milk, panicked and ran away. So tomorrow I get to go shopping again ahhhh.... But that’s okay, I am sure I forgot more things that I will remember tomorrow.

How was your day?

[Rainshaddow]

Hi Kitty , how was the shopping anxiety experience on a scale of 1 to 10 , with ten being the worst . Was it full of people ? That makes me start looking for the exits eh , or too noisy , that does me too , I like how you say panicked and ran away 😆 yes figured I should join a few volunteer places , good for getting out and networking , although exhausting to as it really tests my anxiety meeting new people , today was ok I guess for me , went to my 2 appointments , both were ok , got a knock back on a job in mining through a friend of a friend just now so I am kinda doing a bit of a spiral of catastrophising , trying to be positive , but it's a real let down , starting to really worry about my future . So how will u tackle the shops tomorrow , go first thing before it gets too busy ? I will be right there with you in spirit , count on it 👍just looked in my fridge , I'm out of milk too 🤔hmmm , found long life milk in pantry , oh I found powdered milk too , saved ! I had toasted sandwiches for tea , ham cheese tomato onion and sauce , I am going to watch 8 out of ten cats does countdown and then letterkenny , both are funny and I need to at least smile this evening . Have you seen either of those shows ? Both on SBS viceland , letterkenny on this Saturday at lunch time , I record them on this " vast" tv thing we get in rural wa , since they turned off analog tele we had to get a satellite and the Fed gov runs this tele service called VAST , so I get tele from all over Australia and at all different state time zone times too , I gotta keep focused and not spiral with worry about this job knock back , geez I'm worried . Spoke to my GP again today , got referral thing to do that PGx test to see what meds are best for my genetic makeup, cuts out the hit n miss and cost and wasted time of meds that don't work too well , and also went and got an x-ray up at hospital , sore shoulder , I did my apprenticeship at that hospital , it's unrecognisable from when I worked there , wished I could have stayed there with either knock me out drugs for a month or talk to me therapy , or more like let me talk yr ears off , I can't stop . Another cold wet day here , rugged up and got a small electric heater going , oh , I think I may be rambling a bit , anxiety , I start talking and it's really hard to stop , I tend to go round in circles in my head to , it's really exhausting eh . TTFN !

[Rainshaddow]

Oh and booked a double dr appoint for Monday to do referral to psychologist for talk therapy , this person doesn't know what they are in for , I could talk the leg off a table and then get it to go for a walk with me . Oh and I just realised it was you that put me onto the PGx test , I was talking like I was telling you , apologies for that and thankyou for putting me onto it 👍told ya I can't stop talking once I start ,

[Squiddly_diddly]

Oh my gosh if I’m not busy then I’ll be busy worrying!
definitely need to be doing something!

Im a real list maker, but must be careful not to put too much on the list and become overwhelmed and feel that I have failed , and not done all my jobs!

sigh, it’s exhausting isn’t it.

Hope your shoulder is better. I’m an x ray tech so hope they were nice to you. Love Squids x

[Rainshaddow]

Hi squiddly , yep I spread my chores out so as not to be overwhelmed too , yes the x-ray tech lady was really nice , results this coming week . 🤞

[Kitty1991]

Hi Rainshaddow, I find if I go to the shops with someone I am okay about a 6, if I’m by myself I am a 9 and looking for exits. It also really does help if there are not many people shopping, it is easier. I normally work a permanent night shift so I can go to the shops during the middle of the day when everyone is at work, which makes it about an 8/10 if I am buy myself.

I love 8 out of 10 cats it hilarious. I love some of the things Jimmy Car gets up to when the timer is counting down. Good for a laugh.

Sorry to hear about the job set back 😕 . I hope the blood test helps you, I am still waiting on my results, a couple of days to go till they come back. I hope your shoulders okay?
I am really proud that your doing the volunteering because

[Kitty1991]

.... sorry hit th3 post button but I wasn’t finished....as I was saying...

it would be really hard to do the volunteering with your anxiety, and without being weird 🙃 I am really proud that your put yourself out there. I don’t know if I would be brave enough.

I have been off work for about 10 days, trying to reduce my anxiety till I get some new medication. A lot of my anxiety also comes from work and interacting with the people. They are really big on gossip and telling tall tales about everyone. I am not that sort of person, and I am the only female amount 12 men, so I get really intimidated easily, which is so annoying by the way, and I can feel my anxiety levels rising already about going back to work. My ‘workmates’ have started a rumour that I am pissed off at management and that’s why I am off work. It’s like really - how old are you 5? I was trying to get a business transfer to a shift that has normal daytime hours instead of the graveyard shift. It was looking good, until this rumour started and now it has been canned. Awesome!
Do you struggle standing up to people and talking to them? Is that an anxiety thing or do I just need to find my back bone?

Sorry to dump my stuff on you, just been freaking out a little about going back to work I find it really toxic, and as much as I say ‘oh I don’t care about what they say’ I must because it keeps me awake at night. Which in turn makes me annoyed at myself.

I haven’t watched letterkenny before but I will give it a go.

Also, I believe once you get your PGx test results back, get on the correct meds you will be able to get the job you want in the mine. Your volunteering will look really good on a resume and you never know maybe a better opportunity will pop up later for you.

Also you can ramble any time I get it. Talk soon 😀

[Rainshaddow]

Hi Kitty , how are you going , sorry for my absence , I have been struggling with a heap of things and got a bit overwhelmed , but I am back now , I have had a rather busy and tiring and anxious week and a bit , I am heading into town Monday and will use the town library's wifi to reply in detail to you , I hope your going ok , again , sorry for such a delay in replying to you , I know myself that a reply can help me so much , so sorry kitty