Work anxiety

[Slaugh]

Hey all,

Been out of work for almost a year now. Just 'noped out' one day. Anxiety got to me too much this one particular day. I was an apprentice electrician just about to finish, all I had to do was finish one more module at TAFE and sit my final exams and I would become a licensed sparky. But this one particular day I just rocked up to a job and couldnt handle it. It was routine, nothing too strenuous, just something in me snapped...

in that time I continued TAFE, did my exams, got my sparky and contractors license but still haven't worked since. I have applied for jobs and asked to star multiple times, but I just don't go. I can't handle it. There's certainly performance anxiety at play. I do not believe I'm a very good electrician. I don't know why I feel that way as the apprenticeship and course work was not easy.

I got my contractors license to go out and do work on my own, so I could avoid doing dangerous work but still have a job. You see in construction, if you aren't willing to take risks (yes even on union sites) chances are your not going to have a job very long.

But the bearocracy surrounding electrical work and running business is all just so cloudy to me. It requires a straight thinker, which I am certainly not.

Also apart from saftey issues and general social anxiety I feel being low paid for all my working life has had a toll on my attitude. I am a network architect, a telecommunications technician and now an electrician. Highly skilled yet never earned more than $18 an hour. 34 years old with two kids and a wife (all deppendants).

Too long working underpaid has skewed my perspective of my own self worth, and now I have a imposter of lack of competence complex. I see everyone earning so much more for doing so much less (minus the literal risk to my own life), and for some illogical reason I am yet to determine, I dont believe I can earn more.

I know you shouldn't compare to other people, but I cant do anything most people can. Take my kids on holidays, have my own furniture (not just scavenged from hard rubbish), new cars. You know, stuff most people have when they have worked this hard with these skills and qualifications.

Realistically I should have earning 80,000 pa 10 years ago. I have no one to blame but myself though. I feel like I've failed, choosing the wrong career paths, never pursuing careers beyond qualifications. My wife is really putting pressure on me to find work now, so anxiety is increasing tenfold.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

After having 90 jobs and 15 careers due to things like anxiety, bipolar etc I do understand. Moving from job to job, career path to career path is something some people need to do to earn a living because- well, we aren't all stable. We aren't all calm stay in one profession types.

Get a job, any job so your wife can appreciate you are willing to work. You might return to your sparky work later down the track.

As for your wife not understanding, many don't. The pressure she is putting on you is fair and just, we cant rely totally on others, we should strive to pay for our own way in life even when married. Otherwise our partner feel used. Add that to non understanding of anxiety and depression and you have a situation that will one day threaten your relationship.

So, first step- get work, any work. Good luck.

TonyWK

[smallwolf]

Hi Slaugh,

Tony has said pretty much everything I would say, so I will just expand on the any job part, from my own experience...

I work in IT and that has been the cause of my all (?) my issues. Last year I had time off work for stress leave. Everyone telling to quit my job. While I was away from work, I would visit my parents and talk about things. My mum suggested (and these are my words) I work at somewhere like Bunnings until I got my head straight. That is not to detract from Bunnings at all, but compared with my current job the stress level would be much less.

Then maybe with a bit of help you might feel better about yourself and who knows where you end up?

A friend of a friend started his own lawn mowing business and found that to be much better than his old job.

And I know from your post that you feel like a imposter, but also remember that you did pass and have a licence. So they thought you were good enough.

And the trick will be to work out why and what happened for you to feel like this now and work on a way to move forward?

If you want to chat about any of the above...

Tim

[mr magoo]

Hi Slauth I know where you are coming from in regard to the construction industry.I am an ex dairy farmer now I'm a 50 year old brickies labourer.Same deal,wife and two youngest children still at home Work like a dog most of the time.Quite Sometimes treated like one too.4 years ago when I started i thought OK this is a bad job but I'm going to make it as good as I can.Worked for a while but slowly it was chipping away at me.Quitting is not an option for me but sometimes the price of perseverance is high.Keep your head up,we all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

Mark

[Blusky]

Hello Slaugh,

Thanks for posting. I am nearly at my ' nope' moment with my current job, just waiting for the day to come, it's happened before but I was younger and lucky.

I find it utterly exhausting to go to work and I think that my current work environment (and role) is a contributor to my ongoing insomnia and foul mood swings.

For me, I think I need a job with routine to help with my anxiety as well as little people interaction to help keep my energy levels calm. For me to do this it would be a career change and a pay cut, not to mention the whole ' change' thing that would send my anxiety through the roof. So I am in a condumrum.

Can you ease into work by getting a casual or part time position?

This way you can ease into back into a work routine as well as help decide if the role suits you and when you are ready move full time if you can.

Last but not least if at all possible a job that is in your best time of day i.e. morning/ afternoon or night may help as this will compliment your high energy levels, however understandable that that's hard with a family.

I hope that this has helped you.

Good luck Slaugh, would like to hear how you go.

[Slaugh]

Hi Blusky,

I wish it was that easy, but this anxiety seems to stem to social activities. I'm struggling to leave the house, even for doctors visits.

I have two friends outside of my family who I see once a week at their place. Gets me out of the house but even driving there makes it uneasy. My anxiety has never been this bad before. I'm not quite sure what's tipped me over the edge.

Things started to change once my son was born, it was a traumatic emergency birth, although my wife and I delivered him safely. Also a number of deaths in the family over the last couple of years may have triggered it too.

I also quit smoking shortly after leaving work. Not sure if that has anything to do with it. I should see a psychologist but dont have the courage or money. Feels like a rock and hard place.

thanks.

[white knight]

Hi again

That "rock and a hard place" I think most of us identify with.

However there are many things you can do to help rectify that. As hopeless as your conditions make you feel, there is hope.

In 1987 I had a workplace stress injury. My boss placed me in a position of compromise in a law type situation to give preferential treatment to a politician. I refused and paid a price health wise.

So I had to rebuild my life, change careers, move house (city to country), focus on my family etc. In fact I went back to basics.

Google- beyondblue Topic back to basics TonyWK

For example, moving house. Many people dont even consider that idea. In some cases that change can - alleviate financial pressure as rent is cheaper, our mortgage can be lower and so on. The country can provide an environment where you grow your own vegies, friendly neighbours and children are safer.

That move isnt for everyone, you have to find the answer for what will be a better life.

...but consider all options

Google

Beyondblue Topic be radical

Beyondblue Topic looking for work, some tips

TonyWK

[Guest_2496]

Hi Slaugh

Do you have a gp that is helpful re mental health? I know you said it’s hard to get to the dr but if you would like to see a psychologist you can get a Medicare plan from your gp and maybe it’ll get easier once you’re talking with a psych.