Whatever this affliction is called i got it....

[Stu-E]

Hi Everyone,

Whatever this affliction is called i got it....

I'm suffering severe social anxiety with a fair dash of depression presently, which is weird because i'm usually very adaptable, calm & chatty. I'm currently hiding this issue like a Pro, but in theory it's all completely coming apart at a rate of knots, nobody besides my parents are aware of this or really have a clue. I'm able to hold down my office job without any real suspicion from others on how i'm feeling, i'm starting to miss days on a regular basis now however, which is a concern. What is odd is that i'm likely the most talkative, upbeat & jovial character in a large office environment & i'm told I have become a such a great morale guy which is nice. Socially i'm in good shape here.

On the flip side my life outside of work is a living nightmare. I'm the polar opposite...i'm completely withdrawn, lonely, stuck in my own crazy opinions & thoughts, completely anti-social, frightened & just completely conceded. I'm seeing a psychologist by the way, early days though. I have all but lost the majority of my friends, due to the fact I just wish to be alone in my own thoughts frequently. I keep making excuses not to be places, it's like i'm completely checked out mentally. I'm pretty sure this is some kind of social anxiety but I run every conversation through my head. I analyse my social interactions to a complete fault, i'm so critical of myself for just no reason at all. I'm never satisfied with myself no matter what & the anxiety that hits me from all directions and I have no defence for it. I'm literally in fear of this & have grown rather protective of myself.

I have bravely just returned to the dating scene recently (no idea why I thought this would work) & the anxiety/pressure hit's me like a tonne of bricks. I'm no longer equipped to deal with it, although I wish to meet someone... I'm really just lonely & looking to improve my situation, maybe make a friend or two, but I literally feel ILL from each experience. Yeah, granted it's a total sh*t-show out there these days, but this feeling of anxiety/depression is ​really something else. I just crumble to the pressure & just leaves me in a poor mental health.

Anyone share any sentiments on this condition? Really wishing to improve my situation, but unable to handle/deal with the necessary steps to do so.

Cheers Stu

[Croix]

Dear Stu~

Thank you for your post. It must seem a worrying thing to do, laying out details of yourself to a bunch of strangers. It works out, those strangers are people, ones who have suffered a large variety of illnesses and who want to turn their experiences to advantage and ease the path of others.

Ok, first off you give a pretty clear picture of the problems you are facing on a day-to-day basis, and you do mention a psychologist. Can you say if you were diagnosed with anxiety, depression or something else?

Most mental conditions are not ones where one can soldier on alone. They take professional help, sometimes meds as prescribed by a GP, self help and support.

I do see you have talked whit your parents - are they the supportive type? It can be pure gold to share burdens. In my own case without family support I doubt I'd be here.

Part of self-help, in most cases, is trying to reduce the background stress in your life. From your account social interactions - away from work- are causing you big hassles, and even work is something getting to be avoided.

Is taking on the extra very worrying task of dating something that makes things worse? I'm not saying anything either way. You, as the person on the spot, are the one to make the informed judgment.

Other aspects of self-help relate to dealing with problems/thoughts/worries at the time as they come up.

Do you find the psychologist relates and the interaction is hopeful? It's vital to have someone on the medical team who is sensible and cares. BTW there is a lot of information on this site in the The Facts menu above about a variety of illnesses, causes, symptoms, treatments. If it was me, bearing in mind I don't really know your medical status, I'd have a look at Anxiety, Depression and others.

There is information on self-help there too.

If you regard your first post as just the start of a conversation you can post again - as often as you like, and be met with others who are warm and have understanding.

Many here will have had the same social difficulties too.

Croix