New to group & I have social anxiety :)

[Lisa2]

Hello everyone,

My name is Lisa, I am 24 years old and have recently come to Perth on a working holiday visa. I have been experiencing symptoms of social anxiety since I was in my teens. It became so intrusive in my life I felt completely overwhelmed, exhausted and felt an inability to function normally on a day-to-day basis. I went and got CBT and counselling. It helped me help myself reduce the symptoms and of my anxiety and handle it better. My anxiety is like waves, sometimes it is sky high and sometimes low and manageable. It has not completely gone but now in my life I feel more equipped in addressing my anxiety and help myself keep pushing forward in life. I also have a brother with severe OCD and I can see the effects it is having on his quality of life and causing distress for those who love him. I have joined this group to share my experience with anxiety with others, feel connected to like-minded people and perhaps help others in their journey.

Looking forward to connecting with you guys 🙂

Lisa

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Lisa

Welcome to the group.

For me, social anxiety is all the fears of no-one there liking me. So to overcome this, I make myself the host and ask everyone to come see me. Then it's more of them having to impress me, and less of me having to impress them.

Hope to read more about you

SB

[MyProfile]

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to the forums and welcome to Perth! I too live in Perth.

I totally admire you coming to Oz on a working visa, that is so brave! I hope you are enjoying it here. 🙂

I too have social anxiety, among other issues. It's nice to hear someone elses experience, especially when you say the cbt has helped somewhat.

How are you managing being in another country when you suffer with SA?

All the best!

[Lisa2]

Hey SubduedBlues,

I am the same. Most of the time I worry that people won't like me, think I am weird/awkward and that I make them feel uncomfortable being around me. Do you mean, you invite friends over to your place where you feel comfortable as they are in your space and you feel more empowered in that space?

I often repeat this to myself "Love yourself 100%". All this energy put into making people like me is exhausting and I feel like I am abusing myself and my right to being. I am working on feeling comfortable with myself and valuing me and being kind to me. Youtube self-help videos help me so so much. Such as - Infinate Waters (diving deep). What helps you with social anxiety?

Best,

Lisa

[Lisa2]

Hey MyProfile,

Nice to hear from a fellow person that also has social anxiety 🙂

Yay to Perth.

I studied here for a year before but I decided to come back and to work and to be with my boyfriend who I met wile i was here last time. How am I managing? I guess as I would back home. I still watch youtube self help videos and just keep battling it on a daily basis. Having social anxiety has made my relationship turbulent at times, especially because he cannot relate to it because he doesn't have it. Sometimes I cry out in my mind to just be able to be with someone that gets what I am going through and can give me the support i need. Sometimes I feel like he is not able to give me the support I need. When I feel socially anxious, I can become almost mute because I am so scared of talking in fear what I will say will be scrutinized. Its like a pain. I feel ashamed in those situations with my inability to communicate freely like others. Then feelings of anger start to harbor because I feel frustrated that I can't be myself and be true to who I am. Often I project this anger onto my partner because I get angry that he is not able to help me...But its not his fault I guess.

How does your social anxiety show up?

Best,

Lisa

[MyProfile]

Hi Lisa,

What you tube videos do you recommend? I myself like to read online self help stuff, haven't really gotten into videos yet. I'd definitely be open to some suggestions.

I can totally relate to wanting someone who can relate to how I am feeling. My husband is very understanding and supportive, but I know he can't relate, he can only try to make sense of what I tell him. We recently had a discussion where I confessed that I don't allow myself to be me around him anymore, he's become so protective of me because of my anxiety that I withhold myself from many emotions in case it triggers his protective and somewhat overbearing instinct - I get anxiety about his reaction to my anxiety! We try to be open and hopefully I can relax more around him. It's definitely complicated. I guess i should point out I don't just have SA, I guess its a mix of general anxiety too. Who ever has a straight forward mental healh problem?

My social anxiety is unexpected when I tell people I have it. They say I'm so outgoing or I'm really good at socialising. But I realise I am actually "easy-going" - I don't want anyone to not like me, so i always try to be agreeable, I sacrifice my own values just to fit in. And while I'm socialising, I sweat, I have a big knot inside, I constantly think about my eye contact, I fret about what I said and what they are thinking of me.

To top it off, my SA contributes to ergophobia. Have you ever heard of it?

Probably running out of characters!

Hope to speak again, all the best 🙂