Waste Of Space. Wasting My Dreams.

[One_Day_A_Millionaire]

I've had enough and reached rock bottom or a dead end with nowhere else to go. Some days I feel like screaming. I feel I'm a waste of space and wasting my abilities. The thing is I'm bipolar and have anxiety that goes with it which I accept as everyone has a health related issue of some sort. I deal with it and get on with life but my dreams are very important to me. I want to do my HSC next year and then University and eventually start writing for publication even just for a magazine or something small.

The thing is I can't concentrate unless on my own ( which I've tried to overcome but can't ) and I live in a small house with three adult family members and I try every thing to concentrate but nothing works while they watch Tele etc.

I blew so much money in my early years and I have severe debts and can't save for years because it will be years before I get a pay that I can actually save. So there goes my chance of getting bond saved and a chance of getting my own personal space.

I work full time which makes matters worse because not only does it give me hardly any time for study and that we are all home at night together which still gives me no space.

I know some people will say I'm procrastinating but I just need to know how to concentrate with all the distraction. I am now 38 and my dreams will slip me by and I will die unhappy if I don't act now. 

How do people concentrate while reading in a doctors surgery I will never know. 

I want to beat the problem but don't know how. Tonight I had the lounge room to myself and started reading a good book then when Dad came home I got so frustrated and depressed because I had to stop. Then I get really irritable and annoyed because all I want is my own place but due to mistakes I made from my teenage years on with booking up so many debts I'm stuck in this rut thinking I've messed up my life big time.

I get one shot at this life and my dreams will not come true and I will be buried a very sad soul if I don't work out how to beat the problem. As nearly all of us know once you make a financial mistake with a bank they won't give you a second chance.

I started a small free writing course three weeks ago and as per usual I'm so far behind.

To be honest I get so far behind in courses etc due to always needing my own personal space it gets me anxious and irratible. 

I'm so worried my dreams won't come true if I don't work out how to beat this. I'm anxious, irratible and very scared. I just want to succeed 😞

[Simona]

I'm sorry for you but I'm not very experienced with giving advice.   I like being alone too but I go into another room and shut the door.   I stay in there for hours late at night with my ipod nano. And in a way this room is my very own Tardis and my dog Bandicoot Paw lies outside the door waiting for me.  So iv'e been told.

Maybe you can go into your bedroom?    Or put those industrial ear-plugs into your ears?   

I  feel I can relate in some ways to your frustration.  

I wish I could say more but I'm stuck for words right now. 

[Dwwmills]

Hello Millionaire.

There are many ways of getting into university other than
sitting your HSC. About 11 years ago I sat a mature age entry test which
allowed me to enter university. Previously I had only ever completed halfway
through year 11. I looked at going back and getting my HSC but this was a far
quicker method. The test I sat was multiple-choice. I went to a couple of night
courses before that coached me with sitting these particular types of tests.
They went through the types of questions you’re likely to expect and some
practice tests. I found them very helpful in preparing me for the mature age
test.

Some universities run what are called foundation courses.
These are night courses that you can attend that prepare you for the skills you
need to complete a university course. The universities guarantee entry to
particular courses within the University to a certain number of the foundation
students. Foundation courses are set up to give people who have missed out on
being able to go to university earlier in life a chance to get a university
degree. You need to apply in writing to enter one of these courses. They look
for certain attributes in their applicants. Firstly they look for people who
have experienced adverse circumstances preventing them from going to
university. Secondly they look for people who are motivated and have looked
into the courses and what is likely to be involved in completing a university
degree. And thirdly that you can demonstrate the likely benefits to you of
being able to complete the University course. This is a very good way of looking
at university and entering university as it gives you skills that set you up well
to cope with university life. It’s also a good way to look at how you will cope
and if there are any other obstacles that you need to tackle first before you
enter university. If you find that aspects of your bipolar or your anxiety
prevent you from studying efficiently you can deal with them before you actually
enrolled in a full university course. You may need to look into this fairly
quickly as you may have already missed this year’s intake.

Many people write without actually having a
university degree. You may find by ringing around that you’ll be able to submit
articles to local groups all publications. You may not get paid for this but it
will be good experience and you will get some feedback. It’s like any skill the
more you do it the better you get at it.

[fatima]

hi sorry to hear the situation you are in. 
I cant tell you how to find that concentration but as some said, can you go to a bedroom? earplugs, noise cancelling headphones? If not, are there other options around, e.g. can you go to a library or somewhere else to study? Can you stay back at work for an hour each day and use work facilities to study? An old caravan in the backyard?

wish i had something more constructive to add but just wanted to say 'hang in'