venting about life with anxiety

[penguin7676]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with anxiety at the start of 2020, (what a great year for anxiety!) and saw a counselor right up until the pandemic hit Australia. It was also my first year of highschool. I only knew 2 people there, one was my best friend, but she is in the AP class so I don't have any classes with her. The other person is her older brother who is a year ahead of us.

So I'm an introvert and find it really hard to make friends. I get really really stressed when forced into social interactions so high school is.... yeah. I hung out with my best friend and her group of friends, but I've never really felt like part of the group. Like I'm friends with a couple of the girls, but they are all in the same AP class so I'm always not understanding jokes and memories and stuff like that.

At home, my Mum is really stressed from work because she has resigned and is about to start a new job that she will hopefully like better than her old job. She's also got anxiety, but she doesn't talk about it much.

My Dad is always working. We always eat dinner really late because of waiting for him to get home. Even on holidays hes always tense and constantly getting work calls. And even when he is home he goes and hides in his den watching sport and playing video games. He says he likes his job, but he always comes home angry and stressed.

My little sister. Where do I begin? She is only 9 but acts like shes 16. She's constantly being a pain in the neck and always being rude. She always makes comments about how I look or how I eat. It's annoying, but she's a kid and doesn't know what she's saying.

I hate eating in front of people who aren't immediate family and hate my weight even though people always comment on how skinny I am. I hat how I look. I feel so stupid all the time.

I just feel like I'm floating out to sea without a life vest.

If anyone who reads this also wants to vent, feel free to do so in this thread.

- Penguin

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm grateful you've written in. Life seems so complex now but it will improve as time goes by- it always does, just look at human history.

Being an introvert is not fun, I'm an extrovert but my daughter and others are like you and they find it hard to be who they are.

I think you'd do yourself a favour to study motivation. See with positive thinking you see your world differently. You might see school as a place of learning rather than a place to have friends around you. At home you might see your father late at night and feel grateful that you see him rather than a child from a broken family that doesnt have one. And your sister...well, I had a younger sister too. She annoyed me. So when going to school I closed my door and she wasnt allowed to enter or knock unless it was urgent and when I did see her we played a game we both enjoyed. That reduced the amount of time I shared with her- it really helped.

At your age you could embark on different duties at home eg cooking meals. Cooking sounds like a chore but let me say- if you end up good at cooking then people will want you to cook for them, also you can be inventive with your own recipes. It will also allow you to do something with your mother that your sibling cannot do - another way of separating yourself from her.

In terms of positive thinking, many negative thinkers do not realise they think negatively. In 1982 I was 26yo and visited a motivation lecture. In 30 minutes it changed my life totally. it is in the following thread-

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life#qhg8V3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

So when you do something or decide on something try to see the better story. If your teacher said "I want you to join the other class". You normally sigh, automatically....try to see it as an adventure. You'll slowly change your ways and live life fuller.

What do you think?

And here is a thread about how I got rid of anxiety.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it#qpS1gXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

With positive thinking you can do anything, achieve much more in life.

TonyWK