Upset

[Exhausted-girl]

Just for context I have lived in the same place for the last few years work shift work and lived next to the person in the below issue for the whole time I’ve lived in my dwelling, with out a conver for Atleast the last two, maybe three years.
This morning after returning home after work via Cole’s to get a few items, my neighbour, I shall call M, must of pulled in to his car spot (directly next to mine) as I was replying to a message. Once I was out of the car M out of the blue told me to stop my stalkerish behaviours, proceeded me to get a life and told me to get a life, as this is just weird. I am unaware where this is coming from or how to react. I did not respond to M’s comment out of being shocked. For further context, What M dose - ie work,activities, I really do not know anything about and if o do go out to either go grocery shopping, out to visit friends ect I don’t see M in my travels. I occasionally will see M go to go his car if Im outside having a smoke, which is something I’ve done for years.This has made my anxiety, which I’ve been living with for the past 15 years worsened and unable to sleep. 

[Croix]

Dear Exhausted-girl~

Welcome here to the Forum where you might get some suggestions that could help. If you have not being doing anything that could easily look like stalking then it is in his mind - and is completely irrational. I agree it is worrying, however he may take no further action and the matter will become a thing of the past.

I guess if he does anything from now on to show aggression or give you a hard time in any way you may be best to call the cops, explain what is happening and ask their advice. They will be used to similar situations.

Having had anxiety for 15 years is no joke. Do you mind if I ask if you are receiving medical assistance for it? I have an anxiety condition myself and only started to improve with treatment.

It can help to talk about this with a family member or friend. Do you have anyone in your life who would give you support, even if it is only to listen and care?

If you would like to come back and talk more you'd be welcome

Croix

[Exhausted-girl]

Hey Croix, 

Thank you for your supportive response. I really appreciate it!

At the moment I go to regular counseling for my anxiety, as I also live with PTSD and depression too, mostly that has been working well for me. Before this 

Our burst of his, I would go for walks. 
I can not for the life of me figure out what I could be seen doing as stalking, 

for furniture context i work night shifts and a smoker, I smoke near my car, as it’s away from the units slightly & me doing so isn’t a new things, I have had that little smoking spot since I have lived there. And if  I go to the grocery store, never see him there or and other activities I do, I never see him anywhere. Which has me baffled as only occasionally we have parked in our car parks at the same time at the rare occasion and occasionally he will go to his car while I’m smoking, which is rare also, otherwise we don’t “see” each other. 

[tranzcrybe]

🔸️M was caught off guard.
🔸️Didn't expect to see anyone when he arrived (was this an 'unusual' time?)

🔸️Being shocked to see you, M became defensive (in the worst possible way) by verbally attacking you, drawing a correlation to the only times you have crossed paths in the past (seeing him go to his car while having a smoke - this may have been niggling him for some time); thus, jumping to the conclusion that you are spying on him.
🔸️M may be feeling too watched and perhaps a little paranoid (why would that be?), but could have responded better given more time to assess the situation.

💡️If you have the courage, you might want to point out to him why you happen to be where you are and clarify the purpose of your activity.
💡️Not knowing what tone was used, it could also be that M was being facetious to cover his surprise/embarrassment, so a friendlier conversation (with fair warning!) might help clear the air.
💡️Although, if you do know when M usually goes to his car, it could be worthwhile finding a different smoking spot to avoid confrontation in future, but that doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of self determination in doing as, and going where, you please.

[Croix]

Dear Exhausted-girl~

I'm glad you have regular assistance, I have found it has helped a lot (I have similar mental health problems)

I don't think you are going to find any logical cause for his action as I suspect it is in his mind, not htere in real life.

I found that having a regular set pattern of life helped at one stage and I'd not like to think his outburst has stopped you from yours. Is there any way yo can get in a walk wihtout being apprehensive - maybe going elsewhere in hte car to have it? You might find osme pleasant areas.

Croix