Unsure what this is and how to deal with it

[Bluenomore]

Hi everyone, I'm still learning about depression and anxiety so it would be great to hear if anyone has had a similar experience to me. I started a new job in February, and barely two weeks in I experienced a traumatic family event. I was managing okay and was supporting my family for the first four weeks, then something seemed to 'snap'.

After 10 days off, I returned to work last week (as part of a graduated return that my Psych recommended) and had barely sat down at my desk when panic (or whatever it is) hit again. The best way to describe it is feeling like you're stuck in neutral - you are aware of being inside your body and know what you need to do but just can't move or think clearly. I was sitting there completely unable to get started on a pretty familiar and straightforward task that had been spelled out for me, even though I knew what to do. After sitting there for an hour completely blank and 'cloudy' I went home. In my experience this 'cloudiness' can last several hours.

Having now had three panic attacks at work over the course of a month, I am starting to lose hope of being able to return to work in a reasonable timeframe. My boss has been very supportive but I can't see a way out of this at this stage - If even the most basic of tasks is beyond me, how do I transition back to full duties?

These attacks have sapped my energy and are affecting my life outside of work. I've been having recurring 'down days' where I can't get out of bed and no longer feel like doing things I used to enjoy.

I've started some anxiety medication and have had a few sessions with my Psych but am worried about how long it will be until I feel better. Perhaps dealing with my family issues and working in a high pressure job is simply beyond me at this stage?

[blondguy]

Hello Bluenomore

Welcome and good on you for having the courage to post too!

You are very proactive by already having consulted a psychologist (there are many people that dont choose to and their anxiety can sometimes exacerbate as a result)

I used to have chronic anxiety and it can be a dark place to be in for sure.

Just from my experience with this awful set of symptoms >>>>> When the anxiety attacks hit us hard we usually have way too much on our plate than we can deal with.....I understand your situation as I also had a traumatic family event happen before my anxiety became severe as well

Your psychologist is gem especially with the graduated return to work approach...

I dont know 'how' you support your family and whats involved. You are spot on though when you mentioned combining a high pressure career with family issues being a trigger for any level of anxiety symptoms

Just out of respect to you Blue I take a AD every day and also a benzo when required. These medications actually increased my ability to perform in corporate not to mention providing me with a solid foundation on which I can heal more effectively with frequent ongoing counseling...

From what you have posted....you have a ton on your plate at present. Your system is putting up some red flags to let you know that you may be overreaching despite a generous and wonderful heart

This is my 35th year with (reducing) anxiety (under GP management) even though I have worked successfully during this period.

Note..The forums are a rock solid safe place for you to post Blue.....The forums are also non judgemental too!

You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish....I hope you can when its convenient for you

I hope some of this has been of help to you 🙂

My kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Croix]

Dear Bluenomore~

I'd like to add my welcome to Paul's. You are in a very frightening situation and it is only natural you wonder if things are simply too much and you never will be able to deal with the matters you face. I'm sure that won't be the case.

Paul's advice is pretty spot on and I'd only like to add a couple of things too. The first being that panic attacks, whether they be of the freezing kind or the heart racing difficulties breathing kind are very frightening, both at the time and what they seem to imply. They do get better, partly time, partly meds and therapy, and in many cases directly by the action you take at the time.

I've had both, fortunately now very rare and easier to deal with if they do come. Circumstances that would have set me off no longer do so. I'm much more able to cope. Obviously trying to reduce the things in your life that build up your stress is something to try to do. You mentioned a traumatic family problem, are there other members of the family that can help - and even support you? One can't always be the strong load-bearer even if one thinks one should.

Exercise, nutrition, enough sleep and avoiding any stressors you can leaves you more able in time to deal with the pressures you cannot avoid. Every day having a time to do something you enjoy and that takes your mind away from real life is absolutely necessary. I use walks, books, movies, talking with my partner. What sort of things do you think you might be able to do?

When you freeze have to tried the usual panic attack measures? Controlled breathing (maybe with eyes closed if you need to concentrate), focusing on some object, telling yourself it is simply a flight-or-fright repose that has gone too far, and most importantly you have been there before and come out OK. As I started to improve I really tried to keep doing whatever it was when the attack started, and not let it beat me - stubborn I guess.

I'd suggest you discuss all this with your psychiatrist, like Paul says he or she sounds excellent. As for your new high pressure job, I'm sure with a supportive manager and medical team, plus the opportunity to ease in gradually you will get there. Knowing others want you to succeed and go out of their way to help is a comfort.

Croix