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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Rachos New job anxiety
  • replies: 3

I started a new job about 2 months ago and have been gradually facing more and more problems with my anxiety, largely as a result of my perceived poor job performance and my own personal job satisfaction. Initially I felt that the work was less stimu... View more

I started a new job about 2 months ago and have been gradually facing more and more problems with my anxiety, largely as a result of my perceived poor job performance and my own personal job satisfaction. Initially I felt that the work was less stimulating or challenging than my previous role, this role is far more administrative and has much less autonomy on projects. Initially I felt like my skills were far above what was required for the job. But then I started to get really critical feedback on my work from my supervisor. I think it is just the nature of the people I work with, but the feedback started to really get me down. Because of the lack of autonomy, everything had to be checked by my supervisor before it was finalised, but everything I sent her she wanted changed in some way. I started to doubt my skills, and I got really upset about the job itself. Job performance is really important to me, and I am now feeling like I cannot cope with the tasks I am being asked to do, despite walking into the job initially with the confidence that I was more than capable of doing what was asked of me. I have spoken to my boss who says she is really happy with my performance, however my personal perception every time I get negative feedback is that I am terrible at my job and that I am useless and incompetent. My anxiety is so bad now that I cannot sleep and can barely bring myself to come into work every day. I have started looking for other jobs now. But now I am so anxious about hearing back about the next stage that I cannot think of anything else, I am literally just refreshing my emails and staring at my phone hoping that I get an email or a call back. I get so down when 5pm comes everyday because I know that means another 12+ hours until a potential callback. I am so nervous about the prospect of going into the long weekend without a callback and knowing that would mean 3 days without knowing. I am not necessarily looking for advice. I do know what I could/should do to manage my anxiety at the moment, but I just keep slipping back into this same place. I think I just need to vent about where I am at right now. I have my fingers crossed that I will get one of the jobs I have applied for and will hopefully be in a more supportive environment where my work is appreciated and where I feel like I am making a good contribution to the team and hopefully that will turn things around for me. Thanks for reading.

gloria10 Advice with anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi all, So I'm having a tough time with my anxiety at the moment. A short while ago I decided to walk away from a job as I knew it wasn't suitable and it was a very toxic environment. With some things I've been dealing with I find I have less toleran... View more

Hi all, So I'm having a tough time with my anxiety at the moment. A short while ago I decided to walk away from a job as I knew it wasn't suitable and it was a very toxic environment. With some things I've been dealing with I find I have less tolerance for things like that at the moment. I have found some work for the time being, but I am concerned about telling my folks as they get very agressive when I make a choice like that, it's always wrong. I think its because when I was young I made some poor choices, as we do, and its like I have to run everything by them now. Ideally, I'd like to be honest with them about the whole thing but I feel like I have to make up a story in order make them happy. I guess now I don't want to tell them as much as I used to. Has anyone else been through this before? What advice do you have for telling people things they may not want to hear? Many thanks!

CocoLeigh Anxiety over death
  • replies: 3

I think terrorism teamed with a huge ambition to succeed in my creative goals, as well as becoming more empathetic with age is giving me massive anxiety/fear of an early death. I know this is ridiculous, but I'm in a pretty bad spiral I'm having trou... View more

I think terrorism teamed with a huge ambition to succeed in my creative goals, as well as becoming more empathetic with age is giving me massive anxiety/fear of an early death. I know this is ridiculous, but I'm in a pretty bad spiral I'm having trouble getting out of. Anyone feel the same?

Calminator first time dealing with a panic attack whilst being intimate
  • replies: 1

Hi i'm John, this is the 1st time in 50yrs I have ever had a panic attack in the bedroom. Briefly my partner had been away for a few weeks and when we went to bed and became intimate for some reason this time I had a panic attack so strong that it le... View more

Hi i'm John, this is the 1st time in 50yrs I have ever had a panic attack in the bedroom. Briefly my partner had been away for a few weeks and when we went to bed and became intimate for some reason this time I had a panic attack so strong that it left me so exhausted and feeling worthless, the next night i was determined to get through this however not as anxious it still shut me down again. I have never had a problem with intimacy however this one has really knocked me for a six, my partner says i'm over thinking it and she's right, it just feels so overwhelming i'm not sure where to turn to for help?

nat77 Health Anxiety
  • replies: 9

Im really struggling with health anxiety and feel so alone . I have been suffering for 18 years. I have diagnosed myself with so many diseases:( I have recently had a gastric sleeve well 2 weeks ago today . And ive been having pain in my roght should... View more

Im really struggling with health anxiety and feel so alone . I have been suffering for 18 years. I have diagnosed myself with so many diseases:( I have recently had a gastric sleeve well 2 weeks ago today . And ive been having pain in my roght shoulder blade . But of course i googled it and now im panicking i have breast cancer . I just cant continue like this . I want it to go away . Im terrified of cancer and ots just every where . I was at my daughters school assembly today amd was sitting next to a cancer survivor and sitting behind a lady who just lost her husband from cancer last week . I see a counsellorand i go good for a bit then bang its back . I feel so stupid. Is there anyone else like me

b_l_u_e_b_e_l_l_ Is it possible to have anxiety attacks when not actively anxious in that moment?
  • replies: 7

Depression & anxiety have plagued me all my life... but I've never really had panic / anxiety attacks before. Life is currently extremely stressful and I know I'm on high alert. I'm badly depressed and a number of life circumstances are contributing ... View more

Depression & anxiety have plagued me all my life... but I've never really had panic / anxiety attacks before. Life is currently extremely stressful and I know I'm on high alert. I'm badly depressed and a number of life circumstances are contributing to that.... My eating isn't great... a little disordered I guess... But I'm otherwise fit & healthy... I don't meet criteria for heart problems. Im getting chest pains.... and can't breathe well... the pain can last from a few moments up to half an hour or so. It happens at random times... when watching t.v. or cooking dinner. Not when I'd expect to actually have an attack (prior to seeing someone or an appointment or some anxiety provoking circumstance). Does it happen like this? Just hit you whenever? Or do people normally experience a panic attack when triggered by something specific to their anxiety or environment? I haven't found a solid answer anywhere online.... so thought this would be a good place to ask. Thank you... I appreciate the space to ask this. I will be seeing my gp on Monday and will mention it.

Laura2015 Not sure if I have anxiety, depression or both
  • replies: 4

I've been feeling broken for a while but there's no reason for me to be. I'm great at my job, recently married, purchased my first home and have an amazing husband. He keeps asking me what is wrong but I don't know what it is. I'll say what I do know... View more

I've been feeling broken for a while but there's no reason for me to be. I'm great at my job, recently married, purchased my first home and have an amazing husband. He keeps asking me what is wrong but I don't know what it is. I'll say what I do know..I always worry and stress which is a cause of arguments as they seem minor to him but they feel huge to me. When we argue I get tightness in my throat and I end up crying uncontrollably. I am writing this with my churning cramps which has been happening all day. I am a perfectionist, things need to be done well, I don't like criticism and I'm extremely defensive. when my husband tells me how my behavior affects him I get defensive. We used to do all sorts of activities, random things but now I stress about how expensive it will be or where we are going, what if I hurt myself etc I also get nervous going out with new friends as I'm worried how they will perceive me? We have loads of nice friends that I met through him (I don't have any friends of my own) just ppl I work with. He tells me message them and go out with them but I dread the awkward silences so I avoid messaging. I also hate talking at family outings as I feel the only thing I have to speak about is my work. I feel I can't relate to them as they are all in a different stage of life. I feel like what I have to say is boring. This is what confuses me. I still do things that I enjoy like my team sports but I incredibly hard on myself when I make mistakes. However, when I do something good and my coach praises me I get embarrassed and put my head down. I also don't like the way I look. I just wish I was happier with what I see in the mirror. It affects our intimacy as I'm so embarrassed of what I look like. I want to be intimate, I do eventually and I feel so guilty that I'm such hard work as I wasn't like that before. I struggle to fall asleep and to wake up. My husband says I'm always tired but I manage to potter along all week but burn out Friday night. I struggle to make decisions because I'm afraid they'll be a bad and I'll upset my husband or myself or ruin an outing or opportunity. I end up crying cos I can't decide or I say I don't know. I want to see someone but I'm scared they'll say there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm just a horrible person. is this anxiety, depression (I have my happy days and where I laugh) or both? I want to feel normal and be happy like I used to be and not stress and worry about life..

London01 Feeling lost. Please help
  • replies: 9

I suffer from OCD - intrusive, morbid thoughts about how everyone dies, what's the point of being here etc. I was first diagnosed 13 years ago in my 20's. I've been treated with medication which has worked wonders until recently. Now my OCD is back w... View more

I suffer from OCD - intrusive, morbid thoughts about how everyone dies, what's the point of being here etc. I was first diagnosed 13 years ago in my 20's. I've been treated with medication which has worked wonders until recently. Now my OCD is back worse than before, my anxiety is so high and I'm having panic attacks. My Dr has reduced my medication and started me on a new one since starting (13 days ago) it's been hard but the last 4 days i have been having panic/anxiety attacks constantly, constant intrusive thoughts and i feel this will never stop. I can't stop crying. I can barely get through the day. I've heard some medication can often make you feel worse before better. Has anyone else experienced this? Am I going crazy? I have 2 little boys to care for and I'm so overwhelmed and scared that i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even writing this is making me feel panicky. I just want to be happy and positive again. Please help (I've started seeing a psychologist)

R_Roman Mixture of different problems
  • replies: 1

Hi, I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and just would like some advice. I have trichotillomania for a while now but I never thought to do anything about it because I never thought it was "that bad". I finished watching tv earlier and I looked... View more

Hi, I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and just would like some advice. I have trichotillomania for a while now but I never thought to do anything about it because I never thought it was "that bad". I finished watching tv earlier and I looked in the mirror and the tail of my eyebrow was completely gone, and the skin was sore from pulling a lot. I hadn't even realised I was doing it. I know trichotillomania is a obsessive compulsive disorder triggered by anxiety, and I think I know the cause... Recently I've had a lot of stress regarding study and exams, but because of all the stress it has just left my mind defenceless and I have started having all these negative thoughts (mistakes from the past, judgements on myself and others, self doubt, etc.) and it has resulted in things like irritability and never ending doubt. Other than stress from exams, I have had another issue on my mind which I have noticed causes my trichotillomania to act up a lot is my relationship with my finance's sister. Its a long and complicated story, but to put it simply I have recognised that part of my anxiety is from my obsessive nature of really disliking her: - I feel like she has never genuinely approved/liked me. Which is important to me because I'm marrying her brother. - I have always wanted a little sister to look up to me and since I don't get that from her I feel like i'm 'obsessed' with her. - She has called me names, hurt me and her family, betrayed me and her brothers trust and forgiveness so many times. She constantly repeats offences even after she has apologised for them (never ending cycle). I obsess with it and her brother is so hurt by her he tries to ignore her (opposites). - Her reckless, undisciplined, messy, inconsistent, immature life and behaviour somehow deeply offends me. I hate the fact that she doesnt like me. I hate her behaviour and lifestyle because it hurts me and her family. But I hate the fact that I'm so obsessed with it! I dont even know why! Surely wanting a little sister to look up to me isnt THAT important to me?! I don't even like her to begin with, like I said everything she is and does offends me! This obsessive nature towards her has resulted in anxiety because I feel like if anyone knew I would be rejected and judged. This anxiety has led to my trichotillomania. It's one thing that leads to another. I felt myself reach for my face just trying to write this all out. I need help!

Maynard79 Turns out I have an Anxiety disorder!
  • replies: 4

Hi All I am completely new to this forum and have only just been diagnosed as having anxiety and am now being medicated and working with a therapist and CBT techniques. This past Christmas I suffered a major depressive episode coupled with extreme pa... View more

Hi All I am completely new to this forum and have only just been diagnosed as having anxiety and am now being medicated and working with a therapist and CBT techniques. This past Christmas I suffered a major depressive episode coupled with extreme paranoia and anxiety that had been building up for months due to a number of stresses. To be short it was probably the worst place I have ever been either physically or mentally in my life and somehow managed to avoid a hospital stay, given how bad I was that is a major blessing. It is pretty confronting when you first get a mental health diagnosis and I am still coming to terms with it now as it does have a lot of stigma that's for sure but I couldn't be happier as for the first time in my 37 years I have answers to all the little things that I assumed were just character flaws on my behalf all my life and has given me a new found love and respect for myself. I am sure a lot of you on here can relate to where I am coming from. I have had major anxiety since I was about 7 years old due to a number of factors. I now know why these certain feelings and occurances would come up and now that I am being medicated for them and they are under control it is quite an exciting time. I can only describe the feeling of having lived my life with one hand tied behind my back and now I don't. It is going to take a lot of ongoing work to correct the years of coping mechanisms I have developed to live with anxiety but I now have the opportunity to be a new and improved version of myself. If I said I wasn't sad at the thought of battling through life and having to deal with all that goes along with that as well as the problems that steam from having an anxiety disorder, negative thinking, limiting beliefs and thoughts, constant feelings of nervousness in every day situations, avoiding people, places and situations I would be lying. But the fact is I can now relax and truly be kind to myself as I can see that I am not a screw up at all I just was suffering from an illness that can be treated. I am thankfull for the opportunity to get a few things of my chest as whilst friends and family are extremely supportive they just don't know what you are going through and don't truly appreciate what it means to have something like this in their lives.