Feeling Blue

[smallwolf]

I just have to enter this in order to get these demons out of my head. Feeling bad for last 3 days. Crying on Monday. I did not sleep well Sun night, and comments from wife when I woke up did not help. Anger kept inside. While that "issue" was resolved I now have these thoughts of hopelessness, and of failure. So I am also irritable, hair trigger to anger which is mainly internal. My daughter sees it in my face and tells me to chill, but it is hard. I need to use intermediary to talk to colleges not following basic instructions in case I snap. Trying tricks mentioned in the book "the happiness trap". Very limited success. Thought I was getting better. Feel I back at square one. Be nice if I could click my fingers and everything was good. But aware my issues have been with me probably for most of my life and it will take time. If I knew what to ask for I would ask it here. But I dont.

[Doolhof]

Hi smallwolf,

Welcome to the community here. For many years I have had anger management issues, it is not always easy to find ways to stem that anger from building up or to pin point where those emotions come from.

If it helps you to write how you are feeling here, we may be able to help you find ways to defuse those emotions.

Is there anything in the book that has helped you so far or something you think may help but you don't know how to implement it?

Does deep breathing help or do you get beyond the point of being able to try that too quickly?

It is hard to know if we need to defuse it calmly or do something more physical as some people think that physical efforts just harness the anger.

Hopefully other people here will have some ideas on how to defuse anger and will share their thoughts here.

Walking away from an issue, counting to 100, deep breaths, telling yourself these are just emotions, can help.

Hey, if I had the answers I would tell you as well! Sometimes we need to keep trying at something before it starts to work!

Cheers to you from Dools

[smallwolf]

Thanks for the welcome but I am also returning user.

I am only part way through book. It was recommended by my psych. One trick is to acknowledge the thought in different ways and then move on. However I think of myself at the moment as binary. Deep breathing helps while I do that, but returning to the real world I sort of reset and return to the irritable person.

Just fed up feeling like this

[smallwolf]

Spoke to a work colleague and friend last night. Took a while, but was able get get me back to a happier place. When i explained to my wife "recently" about anxiety and depression etc I made her cry, not intentionally but there is little she can do except be there. At least that's what I think? Putting aside any of her heath issues, I get concerned about unburdening my stresses onto her for fear of her reaction. Again, being there is enough (sort of). So, I unloaded onto my work mate at night. He is also on my support team. It is just a pity that I am cannot readily accept anxiety for what it is, as thought bubbles to "accept" and then move on in the present. Instead they send me into a spiralling decent. Anyway writing here and talking to someone does help. Have to remember that.

[Doolhof]

Hi smallwolf,

Sorry, if I had been more aware, I would have noticed your post count! Welcome back then!

I seem to recall I read the book you mentioned, some of it was helpful. At times I find it difficult to put the strategies into practise.

You may find it beneficial to look in the "supporting someone" section of the resources, you may pick up some ideas on how people can better understand how you are feeling and how they can help.

It is great you have a work colleague you can talk with, that must help. It isn't always easy to chat with those closest to us.

I do recall something in the book about trying to say your worrying/anxious thoughts in a different fashion so the thoughts doesn't seem so overpowering. I recall trying to "sing" some of my issues to the tune of "Happy Birthday".

In a way it appeared to make some issues seem less harmful and disturbing. Depending on where you are, I wouldn't recommend you do that out loud though!

Hope you find some strategies that you can feel confident using.

Cheers fro now from Dools