Leaving a job with a toxic environment but having anxiety when looking to apply for a new job.

[LostAndFound95]

Hi,

This is my first post here and I hope it's in the right place. I've been working with a company where I had a full-time casual admin job for 2.5 years where management would not put me on as permanent and there's always dramas with management and poor communication so a lot of people have lost hope in the company and are just very bitter. I lost the full time admin job last year which put me into a spiral and was scrambling to find a new job/ direction in life, I eventually got through the hard times and found a passion for psychology and counselling and am going to study a Dip of Counselling this year. I'm still currently at the same place working in admin for a couple days a week where my mind is restless and distracted but I still get my work done and in the warehouse - where there is rivalry between departments and gossip is rampant - the rest of the time (when theres work) I'm waiting to enrol into my course and also waiting for Youth Allowance for study and am worrying about money and paying my mortgage and bills when I think about quitting and trying to find a new job where I am motivated and working with a positive team and not just trying not to mess up so I don't get yelled at or trying not to get caught up in childish gossip.

My main problem is when I start looking into applying for a new job I worry about money, and taking time off for the interview, and the interview itself, and how much I don't like my current situation, so this physical anxiety comes over me (tight chest, little shakey, ruminating, wanting someone else to do it for me) and I usually stop to calm myself down and just have a cry and end up avoiding doing it because of how I'm letting it make me feel.

[white knight]

Hi L&F

I see your issue. And it is very common, the toxic workplace.

I actively promote trying to secure 2-3 part time jobs rather than one full time one. This is for a number of reasons- endurance is less required, more variety, rests between jobs, even higher hourly rate at times. The insecurity issue goes away (lose one job you have 2 others) etc. There is not much more harrowing than having debts and losing your job or hours are cut., ringing the bank and asking to pay interest only on your home loan.

The typical workplace needs a neutral calm approach. A gossiper wont gossip to you if you quietly discard their issues they want to involve you with. It also takes some determination on our part to distance ourselves and be positive about a management structure that doesn't deserve our enthusiasm. But bare in mind, the workplace is a game of wits and fake smiles. We need to play that game and play it well for if we don't, if we play it straight with 100% honesty, that doesn't secure your position at all...why? Because another employee that makes those fake smiles and reassures the bosses they are the ideal employee to promote etc will, unfortunately, get the gig. That's how modern day workplaces work.

Please google

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Tony WK