Turns out I have an Anxiety disorder!

[Maynard79]

Hi All

I am completely new to this forum and have only just been diagnosed as having anxiety and am now being medicated and working with a therapist and CBT techniques. This past Christmas I suffered a major depressive episode coupled with extreme paranoia and anxiety that had been building up for months due to a number of stresses. To be short it was probably the worst place I have ever been either physically or mentally in my life and somehow managed to avoid a hospital stay, given how bad I was that is a major blessing. It is pretty confronting when you first get a mental health diagnosis and I am still coming to terms with it now as it does have a lot of stigma that's for sure but I couldn't be happier as for the first time in my 37 years I have answers to all the little things that I assumed were just character flaws on my behalf all my life and has given me a new found love and respect for myself. I am sure a lot of you on here can relate to where I am coming from. I have had major anxiety since I was about 7 years old due to a number of factors. I now know why these certain feelings and occurances would come up and now that I am being medicated for them and they are under control it is quite an exciting time.

I can only describe the feeling of having lived my life with one hand tied behind my back and now I don't. It is going to take a lot of ongoing work to correct the years of coping mechanisms I have developed to live with anxiety but I now have the opportunity to be a new and improved version of myself. If I said I wasn't sad at the thought of battling through life and having to deal with all that goes along with that as well as the problems that steam from having an anxiety disorder, negative thinking, limiting beliefs and thoughts, constant feelings of nervousness in every day situations, avoiding people, places and situations I would be lying. But the fact is I can now relax and truly be kind to myself as I can see that I am not a screw up at all I just was suffering from an illness that can be treated. I am thankfull for the opportunity to get a few things of my chest as whilst friends and family are extremely supportive they just don't know what you are going through and don't truly appreciate what it means to have something like this in their lives.

[blondguy]

Hi Maynard

Our apologies for your thread not being answered. We are usually pretty quick to answer

You have had anxiety from such a young age. That would have been a very bad and scary place to be in.

I understand the pain you have gone through as I had chronic anxiety for 13 years before I really understood that it was just like a physiological illness and needed the therapy and meds that were available.

You are amazing to have come through these years of pain with such success. You are very strong & proactive!

I hope you dont mind me quoting a part of your post....

Maynard79 Said: " I just was suffering from an illness that can be treated" and " the fact is I can now relax and truly be kind to myself"

Its a realistic and positive viewpoint about this illness. Thankyou so much!

Its takes huge strength to post here Maynard. I really hope you can stick around the forums as you not only have the experience but the clarity to see through (and accept) this awful illness

You have helped many people by posting as well as you have. Really good to meet you Maynard

my kindest thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Maynard, a kind welcome to the site and what you have said is amazing and as Paul has said most things, there's not much for me to say, except that at such a young age you have more strength than you would have ever anticipated, but you weren't to know this but pure determination has shown you the light.
Just remember that with anxiety comes depression because they are closely linked, but when you are diagnosed with this illness it may shock you because you could feel as though you are going through a bad period which will likely end, however it doesn't, it continues on, where you realise that help is needed.
Recovery works slowly because once you are shown another angle on how to address this anxiety, then bit by bit you start to feel a little better then the light becomes stronger.
Mental illness should never make a person feel as though their world will never recover, and it will let you know what situation you have to avoid, because if you don't and feel as though you can try and tackle it once again, you are making a huge mistake, it's not worth the effort, because undoubtedly this illness will once again grab you and that's certainly not what you want.
Well done Maynard I applaud you, but please keep going back. Geoff.

[Maynard79]

Thanks Paul I appreciate it.

[Maynard79]

Geoff thank you for your kind words and taking the time to reply.

I do appreciate it.

Cheers