The tiredness at beating this

[Bluey_moon]

Despite being pretty good during the day, at night the anxiety gets harder to deal with. 

The fear I'm feeling paranoid about people watching me when I know they aren't, anything really that used to make me anxious! 

I am practicing all the techniques and I know I will get better, I know it takes time and practice. 

I just needed to confide! 

[Bluey_moon]

It's just so hard! 

I see my psycologist Wednesday, so I'm looking forward to that. 

Quite frankly I've been a b***h to my husband all day, taking offence to every little thing he says! 

I can't get my mind of being paranoid, I think I'm sending myself crazy. Worrying about things like cameras in a specific piece of jewelry my husband gave me, when I was starting this meltdown. I know it isn't true, at least I hope I know! 

I am just having a bad day I know and expecting miracles from the meds! And I know I have to work at the other techniques. 

I was fine all day at work, then bam! 

I feel like the worst wife and mother, addicted to google,(searching for paranoid personality disorder and if my meds can cause paranoia ect). Just feeling like I'm not a good person tonight! 

Sorry for the depressing post. 

Im telling myself now, pull yourself togeather women, be the wife and mother you should and can be!!!

[Mummybee]

Skye

breathe, you're not insane

stay off google ! Please 

wait for Wednesday, your anxious not paranoid.

You're ok.

we are all here and all our money is on anxiety

xx

mummybee 

[Bluey_moon]

Thank you Mummybee. 

i just don't know what to do. 

Just before I was tying to settle my son and was half asleep and I swear I heard my husband talk but he was asleep beside me. 

Straight away I'm like, I'm hearing voices...... The scizophrenia is here. 

And now I want to cry. 

[Bluey_moon]

Tired of feeling like this, tired of being scared! 

Want to be a good mother and wife! 

[Bluey_moon]

And I think my husbands just about done with it all! 

[Mummybee]

Two more days until your appointment?

walk today. 

If there were teleports I would suggest we walk together.

maybe in spirit

hope today brings some smiles

mummybee 

[Bluey_moon]

Mummybee, 

you make me smile!

I spoke to my psyciatrist this morning on the phone who assures me it is my anxiety and tiredness and stress levels. 

So I feel a little silly for panicking but relieved. 

Thanks for caring! 

Skye

[Mummybee]

I told you my money was safe !

thats good news, at least it seems to have given  you some relief for now. The sun is shining where I am today and it's put me in a good mood.

tomorrow will most likely be horrid, I can't seem to string two good days together lately.

 keep smiling

mummybee 

[Chicken_Wings]

Skye I hope you're starting to feel a little better?

You know you've got this. You know deep down that these thought's aren't true. You know.

I used to think people we're putting things in my food. I also knew it wasn't true. But it stopped me from eating some pretty good stuff!

If your husband shows frustration it's because he knows you don't want to feel like this. He knows you hate this and you want to be good. He knows you will be and he knows that this is hard for you.

Being half asleep during the night and hearing weird things is completely normal. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I can hear my neighbour at 3am. On the other hand, it might be the ceiling fan or my dog or the house settling or just my brain having a conversation. Because I do that all the time too, practice conversations I'm going to have.

You give such wonderful advise on here. Make sure you keep some of it for yourself ok.